Dear Mommy-
Can you believe I learned to climb up the stairs all by myself? I knew that if I tried hard enough I could do it (apparently you must not have held the same opinion as you left the baby/pet gate open!) Oh ye of little faith! I was so pleased with myself that upon reaching the landing, I decided to reward myself by gobbling down Izzie's dog food! It was so yummy! (In retrospect, can you start feeding me Izzie's delicious dog food as opposed to my mini pig pellets?) I guess you were not as pleased as I was as I have noticed that since my impressive accomplishment on Saturday you have left the gate closed. Why is this mommy? Is it because I have not learned how to climb back down the stairs? I know you must pick me up and carry me back down, however, I promise I will try and learn to climb down the stairs if you will only leave the gate open. I know that I weigh 35 pounds but really is that so much? Please reconsider keeping the gate open.
Yours,
Lola
^_^
Monday, August 30, 2010
Shout Out
I wanted to take this opportunity to thank each person who has taken the time to offer praise and encouragement on my blogging. Blogging is therapeutic for me and provides me with a creative outlet (however, I certainly appreciate those who enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them). To all of my readers- you have my sincerest thanks.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Chantex Round 3
Dear Chantex-
We are about to begin our third journey together. Perhaps the third time really is a charm? Let me be frank- I know the strength and power you possess over nicotine (essentially you literally suck the fun out of smoking). Still, I have learned from our previous liaisons that your strength does not come without cost (and although you are quite expensive, I am most certainly not referring to your high pharmaceutical price tag-alas I have good insurance). With that said, I implore you to take it easy on my stomach and forsake any attempts to wreak havoc (via nightmares) while I am sleeping. If forced, I can handle the ten minutes of stomach discomfort that occurs immediately upon swallowing you. Furthermore, I can even handle the "disconnect" feeling I begin experiencing as your medicinal properties begin to affect (AKA greatly decrease) my antidepressant medication. Honestly, I begin to feel almost robotic by week two as your small blue pill somehow flips the “off” switch on any emotions I possess. Luckily, this has not (at least in my previous attempts to quit smoking) led me to have any homicidal or suicidal thoughts (as these are some of the potential side effects clearly highlighted under the warning portion listed on your packaging). Despite my complaints, the truth is you do in fact work and I have come to grips with the fact I must begin swallowing you immediately. I suspect that during the next seven days you will become the nicotine joy killer I know you to be.
Yours Most Sincerely,
S
We are about to begin our third journey together. Perhaps the third time really is a charm? Let me be frank- I know the strength and power you possess over nicotine (essentially you literally suck the fun out of smoking). Still, I have learned from our previous liaisons that your strength does not come without cost (and although you are quite expensive, I am most certainly not referring to your high pharmaceutical price tag-alas I have good insurance). With that said, I implore you to take it easy on my stomach and forsake any attempts to wreak havoc (via nightmares) while I am sleeping. If forced, I can handle the ten minutes of stomach discomfort that occurs immediately upon swallowing you. Furthermore, I can even handle the "disconnect" feeling I begin experiencing as your medicinal properties begin to affect (AKA greatly decrease) my antidepressant medication. Honestly, I begin to feel almost robotic by week two as your small blue pill somehow flips the “off” switch on any emotions I possess. Luckily, this has not (at least in my previous attempts to quit smoking) led me to have any homicidal or suicidal thoughts (as these are some of the potential side effects clearly highlighted under the warning portion listed on your packaging). Despite my complaints, the truth is you do in fact work and I have come to grips with the fact I must begin swallowing you immediately. I suspect that during the next seven days you will become the nicotine joy killer I know you to be.
Yours Most Sincerely,
S
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
A Morning in the Life of a Real Mom:
1.Woke up late as I thought the sound of my alarm going off was a truck backing up in my dream…
2.Realized that due to laundry procrastination I had no clean underwear and would have to go to work commando…
3.Spent thirty minutes looking for Caleb’s birth certificate only to remember that it was at my office…
4.Already running late, I became delayed yet again when I heard Phoenix (AKA Dumpster Diver) throwing up in the laundry room (first in the litter box then on the floor)…
5.Had to race Lola to the laundry room to clean up the cat vomit on the floor as there is nothing she will not eat (even regurgitated cat food). Said “screw the vomit in the litter box”- Lola can’t reach it and Matt can clean it up later…
6.Realized Caleb’s dad forgot to give me a check yesterday for the books Caleb wants to order at school (insert Caleb’s brief meltdown about having to turn the check in today even though the note clearly stated it was due on or before Thursday-and today is Wednesday). Wrote the check and prayed they’d hold off on cashing it until his dad reimbursed me…
7.Realized I left my cigarette pack outside last night and as a result they are soaking wet…after a quick assessment decided to throw them in my purse anyway-I don’t need a nicotine fit and at this point I’ll just eat them on my way to work if I can ever make it out of the house...
8.Drove like a maniac to get to work…traffic was terrible because school is back in session and it was raining heavily. Accidentally nearly hit an AT&T van while checking my cell phone (sorry Oprah, I violated my “No phone” pledge)…
9.Due to the crappy cell phone service I’ve experienced recently I looked back in my rearview mirror at the AT&T van and seriously considered actually hitting it (or at least running it off the road but then realized this would only result in arriving even later to work)…
2.Realized that due to laundry procrastination I had no clean underwear and would have to go to work commando…
3.Spent thirty minutes looking for Caleb’s birth certificate only to remember that it was at my office…
4.Already running late, I became delayed yet again when I heard Phoenix (AKA Dumpster Diver) throwing up in the laundry room (first in the litter box then on the floor)…
5.Had to race Lola to the laundry room to clean up the cat vomit on the floor as there is nothing she will not eat (even regurgitated cat food). Said “screw the vomit in the litter box”- Lola can’t reach it and Matt can clean it up later…
6.Realized Caleb’s dad forgot to give me a check yesterday for the books Caleb wants to order at school (insert Caleb’s brief meltdown about having to turn the check in today even though the note clearly stated it was due on or before Thursday-and today is Wednesday). Wrote the check and prayed they’d hold off on cashing it until his dad reimbursed me…
7.Realized I left my cigarette pack outside last night and as a result they are soaking wet…after a quick assessment decided to throw them in my purse anyway-I don’t need a nicotine fit and at this point I’ll just eat them on my way to work if I can ever make it out of the house...
8.Drove like a maniac to get to work…traffic was terrible because school is back in session and it was raining heavily. Accidentally nearly hit an AT&T van while checking my cell phone (sorry Oprah, I violated my “No phone” pledge)…
9.Due to the crappy cell phone service I’ve experienced recently I looked back in my rearview mirror at the AT&T van and seriously considered actually hitting it (or at least running it off the road but then realized this would only result in arriving even later to work)…
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Up in Smoke
This morning I came downstairs to discover that one of my hairless cats had vomited on my cigarettes sometime during the night. Upon observing the incident, Caleb gleefully clapped his hands together and told me it was a sign from God to quit smoking. Touche.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Twelve
In theory, twelve pounds certainly doesn't seem like a lot. In fact, my hairless cat Max weighs about ten to twelve pounds and upon picking him up he doesn't seem overtly large. With that said, twelve pounds certainly sounds like a lot of weight to lose (which is exactly how much I would like to eliminate). Given the amount of weight I've lost in the past, twelve pounds seems like a mere drop in the bucket; however, I know how easy it is to justify "it's just twelve pounds" only to watch it jump to fifteen and then on to (gulp) twenty if no efforts are taken to get the situation under control. I have no one to blame but myself-after all no one has forced carbs down my throat or locked me in a closet in order to prevent me from going to the gym. I have reviewed pictures of myself from last summer and frankly I never looked better in my life (hey, I am no supermodel but I have to admit that for me, it's the best I've looked in a long time). So, in an effort to motivate myself to recapture my physique from summer past, I am using those pictures to drag my twelve extra pound ass to the gym. Burn baby burn.
Famous Last Words
"It sounded like a good idea at the time."
"No one will ever know."
"Oh it broke? Don't worry-I'll be careful."
"I can drive-I didn't have that much to drink."
"I'll do it tomorrow."
"I've studied enough."
"No one will ever know."
"Oh it broke? Don't worry-I'll be careful."
"I can drive-I didn't have that much to drink."
"I'll do it tomorrow."
"I've studied enough."
"Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"...
Well...my name is not Lucy and I certainly do not see diamonds in the sky, however, I do see black/gray spots each time I look upwards. This admission in itself is alarming (even by my standards). I've googled it and have come to the conclusion I have something called "floaters" in my eyes (gross-could they not come up with a more flattering name?) Even more alarming is the fact "floaters" typically do not become noticeable until a person is in their later years (therefore, logic would lead me to believe that noticing them at the young age of thirty-one is something to be concerned about). At this point I'd gladly trade Lucy her diamonds for my floaters.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Cake Ball Recipe (AKA Heaven in Your Mouth)
1 Package Cake Mix (Any Flavor)
1 16 ounce Container of Frosting (Any Flavor)
1 Chocolate Bark
Directions:
1. Prepare cake mix according to package instructions. When the cake is done and still warm, crumble into a large bowl. Stir in frosting while the cake is still warm. Blend well.
2. Refrigerate for 15 to 20 minutes to make it easy to form balls. Use a small scoop and form cake mixture into balls.
3. Melt chocolate bark in microwave, stirring until smooth. Dip cake balls into chocolate and place on wax paper until cool.
4. Once cooled, enjoy!
Favorite cake flavor and frosting flavor combo's:
Chocolate Cake, Chocolate Frosting, and Chocolate Bark
Yellow Cake, Cream Cheese Frosting, (substitute chocolate bark for milk chocolate dip)
Confetti Cake, Confetti Frosting, (substitute chocolate bark for white chocolate dip)
Butter Pecan Cake, Cream Cheese Frosting,(substitute bark with white chocolate dip)
Cherry Cake, Dark Chocolate Frosting, (substitute bark with milk chocolate dip)
Orange Cake, Cream Cheese Frosting, (substitute bark with white chocolate dip)
The recipe is very easy and takes minimal time! Make plenty- they are addictive! Store leftovers in refrigerator.
1 16 ounce Container of Frosting (Any Flavor)
1 Chocolate Bark
Directions:
1. Prepare cake mix according to package instructions. When the cake is done and still warm, crumble into a large bowl. Stir in frosting while the cake is still warm. Blend well.
2. Refrigerate for 15 to 20 minutes to make it easy to form balls. Use a small scoop and form cake mixture into balls.
3. Melt chocolate bark in microwave, stirring until smooth. Dip cake balls into chocolate and place on wax paper until cool.
4. Once cooled, enjoy!
Favorite cake flavor and frosting flavor combo's:
Chocolate Cake, Chocolate Frosting, and Chocolate Bark
Yellow Cake, Cream Cheese Frosting, (substitute chocolate bark for milk chocolate dip)
Confetti Cake, Confetti Frosting, (substitute chocolate bark for white chocolate dip)
Butter Pecan Cake, Cream Cheese Frosting,(substitute bark with white chocolate dip)
Cherry Cake, Dark Chocolate Frosting, (substitute bark with milk chocolate dip)
Orange Cake, Cream Cheese Frosting, (substitute bark with white chocolate dip)
The recipe is very easy and takes minimal time! Make plenty- they are addictive! Store leftovers in refrigerator.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Dear Mommy-
I am starving. I really do need more than three meals of pig pellet food per day. I know that you supplement my pellets with fresh fruit and veggies (which I really appreciate) however I think you should grant me access to the refrigerator while you are at work. I am a growing girl and need the extra energy. Please consider my request. I love you and you would be the best mommy in the world if you grant me this request.
Love,
Lola ^_^
P.S.- I really do not like the childproof locks you placed on the kitchen cabinets. The new locks have made it very difficult for me to open the cabinets and drag out all of the Tupperware that I enjoy chewing on.
P.S.S.- Can you change the water in my swimming pool? It’s a bit warm and murky. It’s really hot out too.
I am starving. I really do need more than three meals of pig pellet food per day. I know that you supplement my pellets with fresh fruit and veggies (which I really appreciate) however I think you should grant me access to the refrigerator while you are at work. I am a growing girl and need the extra energy. Please consider my request. I love you and you would be the best mommy in the world if you grant me this request.
Love,
Lola ^_^
P.S.- I really do not like the childproof locks you placed on the kitchen cabinets. The new locks have made it very difficult for me to open the cabinets and drag out all of the Tupperware that I enjoy chewing on.
P.S.S.- Can you change the water in my swimming pool? It’s a bit warm and murky. It’s really hot out too.
Excerpts from Lola
I moved from Texas to Kentucky in April 2010 when I was just six-weeks-old. The initial plane ride was horrific-I was nervous and my only companion in the animal storage area was an annoying puppy who was unable to communicate in any “true” language. At that time, I weighed only 2 pounds and my breeder unknowingly sent me to my new adoptive home with mange (luckily for me that wasn’t a deal breaker with my new family despite the fact I passed the vicious parasites on to them as well). My new family christened me “Lola”, a name I rather like even if it does bring to mind dainty and delicate ideals and I’ve since grown to become anything but. My foster siblings are a bit of a motley crew-first there’s Izzie, a yorkie-poo, who is affectionate, high strung, and encompasses highly jealous characteristics. Izzie and I sometimes cuddle together but she is quick to start nipping at me should I receive more attention than she. Initially I thought I was a dog (after all, Izzie and I share the same coloring, are close to the same height, and I can produce a rather convincing bark). Alas, I quickly realized that I was not a dog as I cannot jump high nor can I climb down stairs (for I am cursed with short appendages). Then there are the two…well, I’m not really sure what they are (you can look at the pictures on my adoptive mom’s website and if you can accurately identify what species they are I’d be most obliged if you could clue me in as well). The two aliens (at least that’s how I refer to them) are named Max and Phoenix. Phoenix can best be described as large, lazy, and well….slow is the nicest way I know how to phrase it. For the most part Phoenix leaves me alone and sleeps all day (and night if you want to know the truth about it). Max is small, hairless, and pink. Max is a real freak and likes to tease me (we often take turns chasing each other around the downstairs portion of our house). Initially I was really weary of Max as he wanted to eat me (fat chance of that now seeing as how I outweigh him by a good ten pounds). My mommy is my favorite- she knows exactly how I like for my belly to be scratched and she gives me manicures/ pedicures (most recently she painted on a lovely mint chocolate chip green nail polish which I must say really brings out my eyes). Well I really must take my mid-day nap-till next time-kisses!
Sincerely Yours,
Lola ^_^
XOXOXOOX
Sincerely Yours,
Lola ^_^
XOXOXOOX
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Sugar and spice and everything nice vs. Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails
2007:
I was watching "A Baby Story" on TLC recently when Caleb came into the room. Being five years old (and naturally curious) along with his strong desire to have a baby brother someday, Caleb sat down and watched the show with me. Now Caleb has had the basics down on where babies come from since last summer. I am a strong believer in providing children with information when they are ready for it. Caleb obviously needed to get the gist of it last summer when he suddenly became afraid of one of my friends he previously adored. Last summer, when my friend began showing during her fifth month of pregnancy, Caleb wouldn't so much as look at her. After much probing on my part, Caleb confided that he thought my friend had SWALLOWED her baby which was how/why she was pregnant. After recovering from my fits of giggles, I courageously trekked to the local Barnes and Noble and chose an age appropriate book. Until viewing the TLC special, I thought Caleb understood the birthing process until he asked me if next time I had a baby he could watch me "poop it out".
I was watching "A Baby Story" on TLC recently when Caleb came into the room. Being five years old (and naturally curious) along with his strong desire to have a baby brother someday, Caleb sat down and watched the show with me. Now Caleb has had the basics down on where babies come from since last summer. I am a strong believer in providing children with information when they are ready for it. Caleb obviously needed to get the gist of it last summer when he suddenly became afraid of one of my friends he previously adored. Last summer, when my friend began showing during her fifth month of pregnancy, Caleb wouldn't so much as look at her. After much probing on my part, Caleb confided that he thought my friend had SWALLOWED her baby which was how/why she was pregnant. After recovering from my fits of giggles, I courageously trekked to the local Barnes and Noble and chose an age appropriate book. Until viewing the TLC special, I thought Caleb understood the birthing process until he asked me if next time I had a baby he could watch me "poop it out".
A few of my favorite things...
1. I love the smell of men's deodarant. I sometimes put on Matt's deodarant because I prefer the smell of his to my own.
2. I am addicted to "Clearly Canadian" flavored water (especially Wild Cherry).
3. When I get bored at work I play "Club Penguin" to help my son obtain extra points/coins for his penguin (this is a children's website).
4. I love the smell of brand new cars.
5. Sometimes I wish I could quit my job and just be a life time student.
6. I am a liberal Democrat.
7. My fiance is so hot I sometimes wonder how I snagged him.
8. I once hooked up with Johnny Knoxville on a trip to NYC (pre-fiance of course).
9. I love Oprah.
10. During one year of college I spent an entire year falling asleep each night to the movie "The First Wives Club".
11. I love one of my hairless cats more than the other.
12. Even though I own two cats and no dogs, I am more of a dog person.
13. Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I ever did. Even harder than going through a divorce.
14. I prefer hard wood flooring to carpet.
15. I once called into work because I spent the whole previous night reading the new Harry Potter book.
16. I love election years.
17. I give great advice but don't always apply it to myself.
18. On average, I read at least 2 book a week.
19. I have read the entire Harry Potter series no less than 5 times.
20. I prefer reading to watching television.
21. I have been to Jamaica and would like to live there during the winter.
22. I once slept with more than one guy during the same week.
23. I have written a children's book.
24. My mother is my best friend.
25. I pray for world peace and peace of mind each morning I wake up.
26. I believe in reincarnation.
27. I hate the smell of coffee and refuse to drink it.
28. I dont drink often but when I do I prefer a Budlight to anything else.
29. I love the ocean.
30. I love to decorate to the point I painted 8 rooms in 8 days before we moved into our house (this is something I will NEVER do again).
31. I love living in a small town again though I never thought I would.
32. I like watching Spongebob Squarepants (alone).
33. I thought labor was easy even though my son weighed 9.14 ounces at birth.
34. I love fruit but I dislike all pies.
35. I had my nose pierced until last year.
36. I have 5 tatoos.
37. I lost my virginity 3 months before my 16th birthday.
38. If someone wrote a book about the personal lives of my co-workers, they would have a best selling novel.
39. I have been divorced and have chosen more wisely the second time around.
40. My sister Amanda has met several famous people while working in NYC (thus how I met # 8).
42. I like watching the really bad singers on American Idol.
43. I think Johnny Depp is sexiest in his role as Captain Jack Sparrow.
44. I love to laugh and love people who make me laugh.
45. I hold my pen the wrong way when I write (I always have).
46. I plan on taking two days off work when the last Harry Potter book comes out this summer.
47. I would rather go to the library than to the movie theatre.
48. I prefer sex in the evening to sex in the morning.
49. I hate the word "batch".
50. The first two people I would hire if I were rich would be a cook and a full-time hair and make up person.
51. I want to travel throughout Europe someday.
52. My undergrad GPA was a 3.78
53. I feel more comfortable around males than females.
54. If I could have one super power, I would choose the ability to fly.
55. I was 7 the first time I kissed a boy (on the cheek).
56. I love blue eyes (though mine are brown).
57. I love accents, especially European and Austrailian.
58. I love my life.
59. My favorite day of the week is Friday and my favorite season is Spring.
60. I once dated a guy for 7 years. We are friends to this day.
61. My favorite co-worker is Trish who sends me funny pic messages on my phone.
62. I type really fast.
63. Back in my clubbing days, I was also known as "Gina".
64. In 1998, I dreamed (repeatedly) that UK won the NCAA championship. That March they did.
65. In 1996, I dreamed my then boyfriend was cheating on me with a girl named Amanda (a girl I never knew existed). While on vacation that summer he called to breakup with me for a girl named Amanda.
66. On September 10, 2001 I couldn't get "God Bless America" out of my head.
67. My granny has a crystal ball that she swears will shatter on its own accord the momment of her death and I believe her.
68. I am a Libra (100%).
69. I am against the war in Iraq (I always have been and always will be).
70. When I visit my family in NYC I really play up my southern accent for attention (New Yorkers eat it up).
71. I got the idea for starting my own list from my favorite blogger, Stephanie Klein.
72. I have seriously considered writing a memoir about my divorce entitled, "Out Came the Sun".
73. I have three sisters, one of whom is 21 years younger than me.
74. I love animals so much I would have become a veternarian if I wasn't so allergic to animal hair/dander (thus the reason I have hairless cats).
75. Though I was fairly popular in high school, I never felt like I fit in or belonged there. I have become much more comfortable with myself with age.
76. My parents would have named me "Jared" if I had been a boy.
77. I was a conceived "love child".
78. My fiance reminds me of Matthew McCaughnehay (spelling?)
79. For those who are suspicious: I was born on Thursday, October 12th near midnight...I barely escaped being born on Friday the 13th.
80. I wish I could play the piano or guitar.
81. I'm not going to my ten year high school reunion (though I will likely attend my 20th).
82. I believed in Santa Claus until I was ten years old. Then when I had my son, I began believing in Santa once again.
83. I wish I had the type of hair that I could easily wear straight or curly.
84. If I could change one thing about myself it would be to grow several inches taller.
85. I am the shortest person in my immediate family.
86. I am the first person to graduate college in my immediate family.
87. When I was little I wanted to grow up to have 3 or 4 children. After being a nanny in college for 6 children (all ages 6 and under at the time) I changed my mind to 1 or 2 (total).
88. My dad still calls me "Shanna-Banana".
89. I don't always wear underwear.
90. Vanilla scented candles are my favorite.
91. I love campfires but hate camping.
92. The best concert I ever attended was John Mayer.
93. I like watching Scooby-doo (the older cartoon versions).
94. I still listen to the female group "Wilson-Phillips".
95. Sledding is my favorite past-time in the winter.
96. I like taking naps during thunderstorms.
97. I can't believe some of the stuff I have included on this list.
98. I hope my dad doesn't read it.
99. I think shorts are unflattering on most people.
100. I love to dance.
101. I still enjoy playing board games including Life, Clue, and Trouble. I also still love "Uno".
102. I danced on a professional clogging team for five years.
103. I have never met my birth father, half sister or two half brothers.
104. My mother is the strongest person I know.
105. My favorite muppet is "Animal" although I was somewhat frightened of him as a child and he still frightens me a bit as an adult.
106. I love wearing acrylic tips but am usually too lazy to keep up with the twice monthly refills so I usually bypass the whole process.
107. I wish I could sing beautifully.
108. Someday I would like to become fluent in Spanish.
109. My Granny is a professional Masseus.
110. I believe in channeling.
111. I have great respect for open minded people.
2. I am addicted to "Clearly Canadian" flavored water (especially Wild Cherry).
3. When I get bored at work I play "Club Penguin" to help my son obtain extra points/coins for his penguin (this is a children's website).
4. I love the smell of brand new cars.
5. Sometimes I wish I could quit my job and just be a life time student.
6. I am a liberal Democrat.
7. My fiance is so hot I sometimes wonder how I snagged him.
8. I once hooked up with Johnny Knoxville on a trip to NYC (pre-fiance of course).
9. I love Oprah.
10. During one year of college I spent an entire year falling asleep each night to the movie "The First Wives Club".
11. I love one of my hairless cats more than the other.
12. Even though I own two cats and no dogs, I am more of a dog person.
13. Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I ever did. Even harder than going through a divorce.
14. I prefer hard wood flooring to carpet.
15. I once called into work because I spent the whole previous night reading the new Harry Potter book.
16. I love election years.
17. I give great advice but don't always apply it to myself.
18. On average, I read at least 2 book a week.
19. I have read the entire Harry Potter series no less than 5 times.
20. I prefer reading to watching television.
21. I have been to Jamaica and would like to live there during the winter.
22. I once slept with more than one guy during the same week.
23. I have written a children's book.
24. My mother is my best friend.
25. I pray for world peace and peace of mind each morning I wake up.
26. I believe in reincarnation.
27. I hate the smell of coffee and refuse to drink it.
28. I dont drink often but when I do I prefer a Budlight to anything else.
29. I love the ocean.
30. I love to decorate to the point I painted 8 rooms in 8 days before we moved into our house (this is something I will NEVER do again).
31. I love living in a small town again though I never thought I would.
32. I like watching Spongebob Squarepants (alone).
33. I thought labor was easy even though my son weighed 9.14 ounces at birth.
34. I love fruit but I dislike all pies.
35. I had my nose pierced until last year.
36. I have 5 tatoos.
37. I lost my virginity 3 months before my 16th birthday.
38. If someone wrote a book about the personal lives of my co-workers, they would have a best selling novel.
39. I have been divorced and have chosen more wisely the second time around.
40. My sister Amanda has met several famous people while working in NYC (thus how I met # 8).
42. I like watching the really bad singers on American Idol.
43. I think Johnny Depp is sexiest in his role as Captain Jack Sparrow.
44. I love to laugh and love people who make me laugh.
45. I hold my pen the wrong way when I write (I always have).
46. I plan on taking two days off work when the last Harry Potter book comes out this summer.
47. I would rather go to the library than to the movie theatre.
48. I prefer sex in the evening to sex in the morning.
49. I hate the word "batch".
50. The first two people I would hire if I were rich would be a cook and a full-time hair and make up person.
51. I want to travel throughout Europe someday.
52. My undergrad GPA was a 3.78
53. I feel more comfortable around males than females.
54. If I could have one super power, I would choose the ability to fly.
55. I was 7 the first time I kissed a boy (on the cheek).
56. I love blue eyes (though mine are brown).
57. I love accents, especially European and Austrailian.
58. I love my life.
59. My favorite day of the week is Friday and my favorite season is Spring.
60. I once dated a guy for 7 years. We are friends to this day.
61. My favorite co-worker is Trish who sends me funny pic messages on my phone.
62. I type really fast.
63. Back in my clubbing days, I was also known as "Gina".
64. In 1998, I dreamed (repeatedly) that UK won the NCAA championship. That March they did.
65. In 1996, I dreamed my then boyfriend was cheating on me with a girl named Amanda (a girl I never knew existed). While on vacation that summer he called to breakup with me for a girl named Amanda.
66. On September 10, 2001 I couldn't get "God Bless America" out of my head.
67. My granny has a crystal ball that she swears will shatter on its own accord the momment of her death and I believe her.
68. I am a Libra (100%).
69. I am against the war in Iraq (I always have been and always will be).
70. When I visit my family in NYC I really play up my southern accent for attention (New Yorkers eat it up).
71. I got the idea for starting my own list from my favorite blogger, Stephanie Klein.
72. I have seriously considered writing a memoir about my divorce entitled, "Out Came the Sun".
73. I have three sisters, one of whom is 21 years younger than me.
74. I love animals so much I would have become a veternarian if I wasn't so allergic to animal hair/dander (thus the reason I have hairless cats).
75. Though I was fairly popular in high school, I never felt like I fit in or belonged there. I have become much more comfortable with myself with age.
76. My parents would have named me "Jared" if I had been a boy.
77. I was a conceived "love child".
78. My fiance reminds me of Matthew McCaughnehay (spelling?)
79. For those who are suspicious: I was born on Thursday, October 12th near midnight...I barely escaped being born on Friday the 13th.
80. I wish I could play the piano or guitar.
81. I'm not going to my ten year high school reunion (though I will likely attend my 20th).
82. I believed in Santa Claus until I was ten years old. Then when I had my son, I began believing in Santa once again.
83. I wish I had the type of hair that I could easily wear straight or curly.
84. If I could change one thing about myself it would be to grow several inches taller.
85. I am the shortest person in my immediate family.
86. I am the first person to graduate college in my immediate family.
87. When I was little I wanted to grow up to have 3 or 4 children. After being a nanny in college for 6 children (all ages 6 and under at the time) I changed my mind to 1 or 2 (total).
88. My dad still calls me "Shanna-Banana".
89. I don't always wear underwear.
90. Vanilla scented candles are my favorite.
91. I love campfires but hate camping.
92. The best concert I ever attended was John Mayer.
93. I like watching Scooby-doo (the older cartoon versions).
94. I still listen to the female group "Wilson-Phillips".
95. Sledding is my favorite past-time in the winter.
96. I like taking naps during thunderstorms.
97. I can't believe some of the stuff I have included on this list.
98. I hope my dad doesn't read it.
99. I think shorts are unflattering on most people.
100. I love to dance.
101. I still enjoy playing board games including Life, Clue, and Trouble. I also still love "Uno".
102. I danced on a professional clogging team for five years.
103. I have never met my birth father, half sister or two half brothers.
104. My mother is the strongest person I know.
105. My favorite muppet is "Animal" although I was somewhat frightened of him as a child and he still frightens me a bit as an adult.
106. I love wearing acrylic tips but am usually too lazy to keep up with the twice monthly refills so I usually bypass the whole process.
107. I wish I could sing beautifully.
108. Someday I would like to become fluent in Spanish.
109. My Granny is a professional Masseus.
110. I believe in channeling.
111. I have great respect for open minded people.
My Mother, the hero
March 2007
My mother:
1. Had her first child when she was nineteen and her last child when she was forty-one.
2. Was a professional clogging instructor for many years.
3. Is a recovering alcoholic.
4. Is the best person I know.
5. Taught me to love reading and to love books.
6. Is patient and wonderful with children.
7. Survived me being a teenager.
8. Lives in NY.
9. But is moving back.
10. Takes chances.
11. Is the strongest person I know.
12. Has made me a better person.
13. Is open minded.
14. Thinks Hillary Clinton should become the next president.
15. Knew people directly touched by 9/11.
16. Is the best interior decorator I know.
17. Can do anything she sets her mind to.
18. Possesses great spiritual insights.
19. Motivates me to exercise and eat right.
20. Can change the world and make it a better place.
21. Is a great person to talk to.
22. Has taught me great lessons about life.
My mother:
1. Had her first child when she was nineteen and her last child when she was forty-one.
2. Was a professional clogging instructor for many years.
3. Is a recovering alcoholic.
4. Is the best person I know.
5. Taught me to love reading and to love books.
6. Is patient and wonderful with children.
7. Survived me being a teenager.
8. Lives in NY.
9. But is moving back.
10. Takes chances.
11. Is the strongest person I know.
12. Has made me a better person.
13. Is open minded.
14. Thinks Hillary Clinton should become the next president.
15. Knew people directly touched by 9/11.
16. Is the best interior decorator I know.
17. Can do anything she sets her mind to.
18. Possesses great spiritual insights.
19. Motivates me to exercise and eat right.
20. Can change the world and make it a better place.
21. Is a great person to talk to.
22. Has taught me great lessons about life.
My Father, who isn't quite the superhero but tries hard anyway...
March 2007:
My dad:
1. His middle name is "Homer" and he has never really cared for it.
2. Can build anything and is currently building a house for the second time.
3. Can make me cry quicker than anyone.
4. Has helped me out repeatedly over the years, especially when I was going through my divorce to which I am forever grateful.
5. Makes the best enchiladas I have ever tasted.
6. Has two Harley motorcycles.
7. Has the biggest (original) record collection I have ever seen (and all of the playboy magazines ever published).
8. Still has great taste in music.
9. Has seen great bands in concert, such as Elvis and the Rolling Stones.
10. Smokes pot sometimes (but he doesn't know that I know that).
11. Looks much younger than his 51 years.
12. Drove from Owensboro to Lexington and back in the same day when I had my son.
13. Gave me a thousand dollars when I graduated from college because he was so proud of me.
14. Drives like a maniac (actually most people in my family appear to have inherited this trait) and becomes very offended if you tell him so.
15. Desperately needs to wear a hearing aid.
16. Repeats himself often to make sure you get his point (which you did after the first dozen times he said it).
17. Isn't great at showing affection but has made great strides at this over the years.
18. Hasn't had a relationship with my sister Amanda in more than 2 years (they are both equally stubborn and refuse to budge on this issue).
19. Is a Republican (which I will never understand).
20. Isn't the most open minded person I know but loves us all anyway.
My dad:
1. His middle name is "Homer" and he has never really cared for it.
2. Can build anything and is currently building a house for the second time.
3. Can make me cry quicker than anyone.
4. Has helped me out repeatedly over the years, especially when I was going through my divorce to which I am forever grateful.
5. Makes the best enchiladas I have ever tasted.
6. Has two Harley motorcycles.
7. Has the biggest (original) record collection I have ever seen (and all of the playboy magazines ever published).
8. Still has great taste in music.
9. Has seen great bands in concert, such as Elvis and the Rolling Stones.
10. Smokes pot sometimes (but he doesn't know that I know that).
11. Looks much younger than his 51 years.
12. Drove from Owensboro to Lexington and back in the same day when I had my son.
13. Gave me a thousand dollars when I graduated from college because he was so proud of me.
14. Drives like a maniac (actually most people in my family appear to have inherited this trait) and becomes very offended if you tell him so.
15. Desperately needs to wear a hearing aid.
16. Repeats himself often to make sure you get his point (which you did after the first dozen times he said it).
17. Isn't great at showing affection but has made great strides at this over the years.
18. Hasn't had a relationship with my sister Amanda in more than 2 years (they are both equally stubborn and refuse to budge on this issue).
19. Is a Republican (which I will never understand).
20. Isn't the most open minded person I know but loves us all anyway.
My Sister Amanda, the Artist
March 2007:
My sister Amanda is:
1. An extremely gifted artist.
2. Though she has still failed to illustrate my children's book despite repeated request.
3. Was once a gifted ballerina.
4. Is very particular about whom she dates and has had only two serious boyfriends her entire life.
5. Is very dramatic.
6. Is a bartender in NYC.
7. Is a Sex in the City girl in real life.
8. Has met famous people and has the pictures to prove it.
9. Smokes pot.
10. Quit smoking (cigs) which helped inspire me to quit as well.
11. Loves children but never wants any of her own.
12. Takes risks.
13. Is very loving and affectionate.
14. Is on a journey to spiritual enlightenment.
15. Loves her astrology books and takes great pleasure in reading others their horoscopes, etc.
16. Has a great sense of humor though at times it is sort of a sadistic type of humor.
17. Doesn't have a relationship with our dad.
18. Can be very independent.
19. Has holes in her pockets :)
20. Is a good person.
21. Can change the world and leave it a better place.
22. Is a junk food junkie but manages to still stay thin.
23. Is a night owl.
24. Has great style and presence.
25. Is beautiful.
26. Is charasmatic and magnetic-people are naturally drawn to her.
27. Loves and is loved by animals
My sister Amanda is:
1. An extremely gifted artist.
2. Though she has still failed to illustrate my children's book despite repeated request.
3. Was once a gifted ballerina.
4. Is very particular about whom she dates and has had only two serious boyfriends her entire life.
5. Is very dramatic.
6. Is a bartender in NYC.
7. Is a Sex in the City girl in real life.
8. Has met famous people and has the pictures to prove it.
9. Smokes pot.
10. Quit smoking (cigs) which helped inspire me to quit as well.
11. Loves children but never wants any of her own.
12. Takes risks.
13. Is very loving and affectionate.
14. Is on a journey to spiritual enlightenment.
15. Loves her astrology books and takes great pleasure in reading others their horoscopes, etc.
16. Has a great sense of humor though at times it is sort of a sadistic type of humor.
17. Doesn't have a relationship with our dad.
18. Can be very independent.
19. Has holes in her pockets :)
20. Is a good person.
21. Can change the world and leave it a better place.
22. Is a junk food junkie but manages to still stay thin.
23. Is a night owl.
24. Has great style and presence.
25. Is beautiful.
26. Is charasmatic and magnetic-people are naturally drawn to her.
27. Loves and is loved by animals
My Sister Hannah, the Princess
March 2007:
My sister Hannah:
1. Is very creative.
2. Is very smart.
3. Loves Cheetah Girls and Cheetah print clothing.
4. Wants a hairless cat like mine.
5. Enjoys playing "Club Penguin".
6. Loves cucumbers and cheese pizza.
7. Is very sensitive and loving.
8. Loves animals.
9. Makes others laugh.
10. Is good friends with Caleb and well liked by others.
11. Likes the movies "Harry Potter", "Labryinth", and "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" (she has great taste)!
12. Is very sweet and affectionate.
13. Makes friends easily.
14. Loves music, singing and dancing.
15. Loves to whistle and does it often.
16. Adores our mother.
17. Wants to move to KY.
18. Is beautiful.
19. Is a natural performer.
20. Makes me smile.
21. Wants a water bed.
My sister Hannah:
1. Is very creative.
2. Is very smart.
3. Loves Cheetah Girls and Cheetah print clothing.
4. Wants a hairless cat like mine.
5. Enjoys playing "Club Penguin".
6. Loves cucumbers and cheese pizza.
7. Is very sensitive and loving.
8. Loves animals.
9. Makes others laugh.
10. Is good friends with Caleb and well liked by others.
11. Likes the movies "Harry Potter", "Labryinth", and "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" (she has great taste)!
12. Is very sweet and affectionate.
13. Makes friends easily.
14. Loves music, singing and dancing.
15. Loves to whistle and does it often.
16. Adores our mother.
17. Wants to move to KY.
18. Is beautiful.
19. Is a natural performer.
20. Makes me smile.
21. Wants a water bed.
My Sister Erica, the Rock Star
March 2007:
My sister Erica:
1. Loves children, is great with children, and will make a terrific mom someday.
2. Has a tendency to fly off the handle, especially if hard liquor is involved.
3. Has great clothes and wears them well.
4. Is beautiful.
5. Drives like an absolute maniac on crack- more tickets and wrecks than I can recall.
6. Has had more contact with the police (for absolutely stupid things) than the rest of us :)
7. Is very particular about boys.
8. Had a psycho ex stalking her.
9. Wants to kidnap one of my cats.
10. Has a billion friends and a million places to be at all times.
11. Is a good student.
12. Is very passionate.
13. Is very, very strong (physically and emotionally).
14. Parties like a rock star.
15. Attended high school in NY.
16. Will likely move back to NY someday (though we really wish she would stay here).
17. Helped me out more than she will ever know when I was going through my divorce.
18. Again, drives like a maniac.
19. Should never, ever drink shots in public.
20. Is a very hard worker.
21. Will likely be rich someday.
22. Is very honest.
23. Is very loyal and protective.
24. Can lose weight faster than anyone I have ever met.
25. Is a great dancer
My sister Erica:
1. Loves children, is great with children, and will make a terrific mom someday.
2. Has a tendency to fly off the handle, especially if hard liquor is involved.
3. Has great clothes and wears them well.
4. Is beautiful.
5. Drives like an absolute maniac on crack- more tickets and wrecks than I can recall.
6. Has had more contact with the police (for absolutely stupid things) than the rest of us :)
7. Is very particular about boys.
8. Had a psycho ex stalking her.
9. Wants to kidnap one of my cats.
10. Has a billion friends and a million places to be at all times.
11. Is a good student.
12. Is very passionate.
13. Is very, very strong (physically and emotionally).
14. Parties like a rock star.
15. Attended high school in NY.
16. Will likely move back to NY someday (though we really wish she would stay here).
17. Helped me out more than she will ever know when I was going through my divorce.
18. Again, drives like a maniac.
19. Should never, ever drink shots in public.
20. Is a very hard worker.
21. Will likely be rich someday.
22. Is very honest.
23. Is very loyal and protective.
24. Can lose weight faster than anyone I have ever met.
25. Is a great dancer
"Beyond the Sun"
Caleb and I were taking a walk yesterday and the subject of God came up. I told Caleb that I believe God is a part of everything (the grass, the sky, people, etc.). I then went on to tell Caleb I felt God lived in each person's heart. Caleb paused for a moment and then said, "Oh, I thought God lived up in the sky behind the sun".
More 80's
March 2007:
Recently I have reconnected with some of my dearest friends from elementary school (thanks to myspace). Naturally, this has led to a walk down memory lane. Here are some of the things I loved most about growing up in the 80's:
1. Dressing up as a punk rocker for Halloween.
2. Listening to NKOB and Milli Vanilli (I still love "Blame it on the rain")!
3. Stretch pants and neon pink, yellow and green clothing
4. Side ponytails and banana clips rocked!
5. Going to the roller rink or ice skating rink on a Friday night
6. Slumber parties (in which we inevitably played "Light as a feather, stiff as a board"
7. Lip Syncing to Cyndi Lauper (still dig it)
8. Climbing trees
9. Playing with barbies (I am not ashamed to admit I played with barbies until the 7th grade- my sisters and I LOVED them)
10. Singing along with Bon Jovi ("Shot through the Heart", "Living on a Prayer", "Dead or Alive")
11. TV shows like "Kate and Ally", "Silver Spoon", "Different Strokes", "Full House" and "Growing Pains" (loved some Kirk Cameron)
12. Dressing up in my mom and granny's old dress up clothes and high heels
13. Putting on "shows" (singing and dancing) for my family
14. Clogging
15. Gathering up the courage (with your best friend beside you) to call up your current crush
16. Reading "Sweet Valley" and "The Babysitter's Club" books
17. Reading the classic girl staple, "Are you there God, it's me Margaret"
18. Jam boxes and tapes
19. Wearing "jellies"
20. Big wheels! I also am unashamed to admit my cousin Brandy and I rode these up until high school (and remarkably survived the stupid shit we use to do on them)
21. Playing out in the woods behind the house I grew up in (this included playing in the creek and fishing for crawdads)
22. Sunny days with my best canine friend, Banjo
23. I don't remember what they were called but they were plastic charm necklaces and you slowly collected more charms for it
24. Runts and Nerd candy
25. Playing T-ball
26. Writing and passing notes to friends and love notes to cute boys
Recently I have reconnected with some of my dearest friends from elementary school (thanks to myspace). Naturally, this has led to a walk down memory lane. Here are some of the things I loved most about growing up in the 80's:
1. Dressing up as a punk rocker for Halloween.
2. Listening to NKOB and Milli Vanilli (I still love "Blame it on the rain")!
3. Stretch pants and neon pink, yellow and green clothing
4. Side ponytails and banana clips rocked!
5. Going to the roller rink or ice skating rink on a Friday night
6. Slumber parties (in which we inevitably played "Light as a feather, stiff as a board"
7. Lip Syncing to Cyndi Lauper (still dig it)
8. Climbing trees
9. Playing with barbies (I am not ashamed to admit I played with barbies until the 7th grade- my sisters and I LOVED them)
10. Singing along with Bon Jovi ("Shot through the Heart", "Living on a Prayer", "Dead or Alive")
11. TV shows like "Kate and Ally", "Silver Spoon", "Different Strokes", "Full House" and "Growing Pains" (loved some Kirk Cameron)
12. Dressing up in my mom and granny's old dress up clothes and high heels
13. Putting on "shows" (singing and dancing) for my family
14. Clogging
15. Gathering up the courage (with your best friend beside you) to call up your current crush
16. Reading "Sweet Valley" and "The Babysitter's Club" books
17. Reading the classic girl staple, "Are you there God, it's me Margaret"
18. Jam boxes and tapes
19. Wearing "jellies"
20. Big wheels! I also am unashamed to admit my cousin Brandy and I rode these up until high school (and remarkably survived the stupid shit we use to do on them)
21. Playing out in the woods behind the house I grew up in (this included playing in the creek and fishing for crawdads)
22. Sunny days with my best canine friend, Banjo
23. I don't remember what they were called but they were plastic charm necklaces and you slowly collected more charms for it
24. Runts and Nerd candy
25. Playing T-ball
26. Writing and passing notes to friends and love notes to cute boys
Convenient Store Epics
March 2007:
Caleb and I were at the convenient store today and the clerk was taking a really, really long time to get things done. Caleb looked up at the clerk and asked her, "did you finish college?" I was mortified because I am sure she took it personally thinking he asked her that because she was being so slow. Avoiding contact, I mumbled an apology and we jetted out the door to safety
Caleb and I were at the convenient store today and the clerk was taking a really, really long time to get things done. Caleb looked up at the clerk and asked her, "did you finish college?" I was mortified because I am sure she took it personally thinking he asked her that because she was being so slow. Avoiding contact, I mumbled an apology and we jetted out the door to safety
Signs
March 2007:
As a little girl there were several instances in which I greatly surprised some of my friends. On one occassion, I was spending the night with my then best friend and we were looking at her collection of dolls. She asked me to guess the name of her doll. Without thinking, I blurted out "Jessica". My best friend's eyes nearly popped out of her head with amazement. To this day I can't explain how I knew- I just knew that I did.
While on summer vacation shortly before my Senior year in high school, I dreamed my boyfriend was cheating on me with a girl named "Amanda", a girl I never knew existed. The following day, my boyfriend called me stating, "we need to talk". He was absolutely floored when I confronted him asking him if he was breaking up with me for a girl named "Amanda". Turned out my dream was right.
In 1997-1998, my freshman year in college, I repeatedly dreamed UK won the NCAA tournament. I had this specific dream no less than four times and each time it was incredibly vivid. No one expected UK to win that year- they started out shaky and to top it off, there was a new coach. Each time I had this dream, I found myself sitting on the court and watching UK win the final game. That March, UK took home the title of NCAA champions.
I found out in my Senior year of college that an ex boyfriend was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer in his back. We dated briefly in high school and I had seen little of him since. Through friends, I received periodic updates on his well-being. One afternoon as I was sitting on my bed, I had a very strange feeling. My thoughts were completely fixated on my ex. I remember wondering how he was doing and really believing he may have passed away. These thoughts consumed me that day...I had trouble thinking of little else. A few days later I received the news my ex had passed away. I truly believe that the day I was thinking about him all day was the day he in fact passed away.
When I first became pregnant, I repeatedly had dreams I was having a little girl. On the day before my ultra sound (to determine the sex of our baby), I dreamed I was at the doctors office having my ultra sound. In my dream, the nurse asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. I responded stating I already knew that I was pregnant with a girl. In my dream the nurse then turned to me and said, "no honey, you are having a boy". The following day during my ultra sound I was told I was having a little boy.
On September 10, 2001 I experienced a lot of anxiety and panic and kept thinking something "bad" was about to happen (though I could not figure out what it could possibly be). I repeatedly heard the song "God Bless America" running through my mind. In addition, I noticed several American flags while driving around town that day- something I normally did not notice. The following day on September 11, 2001, I understood why.
During the summer of 2001, I woke up feeling panicky and anxious one day. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that something terrible had occurred. Shortly thereafter, my mother called me to tell me my three sisters had been involved in a wreck in which the vehicle they were driving flipped three times after being hit. Luckily, no one was seriously injured.
In 2001, I arrived home one day and just knew my older stepsister had delivered her baby that day. I was not close to my stepsister as she lives in NY and I had only met her one time. Although I somehow already knew, it still came as a surprise that day when my mother called to tell me that my stepsister had her baby that day.
In May 2004 while vacationing in Key West, FL I became very upset with my then husband who was in KY. We got into a very big argument and I clearly remember hanging up on him and turning to my step sister and saying, "I wish a tornado would come and just shake him up". I felt SO bad the next day when I checked my voice mail....it turned out that a tornado HAD swept through our neighborhood that night several hours after I had hung up on him.
As a little girl there were several instances in which I greatly surprised some of my friends. On one occassion, I was spending the night with my then best friend and we were looking at her collection of dolls. She asked me to guess the name of her doll. Without thinking, I blurted out "Jessica". My best friend's eyes nearly popped out of her head with amazement. To this day I can't explain how I knew- I just knew that I did.
While on summer vacation shortly before my Senior year in high school, I dreamed my boyfriend was cheating on me with a girl named "Amanda", a girl I never knew existed. The following day, my boyfriend called me stating, "we need to talk". He was absolutely floored when I confronted him asking him if he was breaking up with me for a girl named "Amanda". Turned out my dream was right.
In 1997-1998, my freshman year in college, I repeatedly dreamed UK won the NCAA tournament. I had this specific dream no less than four times and each time it was incredibly vivid. No one expected UK to win that year- they started out shaky and to top it off, there was a new coach. Each time I had this dream, I found myself sitting on the court and watching UK win the final game. That March, UK took home the title of NCAA champions.
I found out in my Senior year of college that an ex boyfriend was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer in his back. We dated briefly in high school and I had seen little of him since. Through friends, I received periodic updates on his well-being. One afternoon as I was sitting on my bed, I had a very strange feeling. My thoughts were completely fixated on my ex. I remember wondering how he was doing and really believing he may have passed away. These thoughts consumed me that day...I had trouble thinking of little else. A few days later I received the news my ex had passed away. I truly believe that the day I was thinking about him all day was the day he in fact passed away.
When I first became pregnant, I repeatedly had dreams I was having a little girl. On the day before my ultra sound (to determine the sex of our baby), I dreamed I was at the doctors office having my ultra sound. In my dream, the nurse asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. I responded stating I already knew that I was pregnant with a girl. In my dream the nurse then turned to me and said, "no honey, you are having a boy". The following day during my ultra sound I was told I was having a little boy.
On September 10, 2001 I experienced a lot of anxiety and panic and kept thinking something "bad" was about to happen (though I could not figure out what it could possibly be). I repeatedly heard the song "God Bless America" running through my mind. In addition, I noticed several American flags while driving around town that day- something I normally did not notice. The following day on September 11, 2001, I understood why.
During the summer of 2001, I woke up feeling panicky and anxious one day. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that something terrible had occurred. Shortly thereafter, my mother called me to tell me my three sisters had been involved in a wreck in which the vehicle they were driving flipped three times after being hit. Luckily, no one was seriously injured.
In 2001, I arrived home one day and just knew my older stepsister had delivered her baby that day. I was not close to my stepsister as she lives in NY and I had only met her one time. Although I somehow already knew, it still came as a surprise that day when my mother called to tell me that my stepsister had her baby that day.
In May 2004 while vacationing in Key West, FL I became very upset with my then husband who was in KY. We got into a very big argument and I clearly remember hanging up on him and turning to my step sister and saying, "I wish a tornado would come and just shake him up". I felt SO bad the next day when I checked my voice mail....it turned out that a tornado HAD swept through our neighborhood that night several hours after I had hung up on him.
Blame it on the dog
(March 2007):
Last night I watched from my bedroom as Caleb looked around to see if anyone was watching him-feeling confident no one was looking, he lifted up his rug, peed on the floor, then placed the rug back down. I couldn't believe what I had just seen him do- it happened too quickly for me to have been able to prevent it. I went into his bedroom, made him clean it up then grounded him from watching television for the rest of the night. It was clear the reason he peed on the floor in the first place was because he didn't want to chance missing the movie he was watching by having to stop and go to the bathroom. That night as I was lying in bed, I thought about some of the outrageous things I had done as a child. The only difference? I had siblings (two younger sisters) to blame my antics on while Caleb is (so far) an only child. Looking back I did some things that were probably a lot worse than peeing on the carpet and trying to cover it up. Let me just apologize up front to my sisters Amanda and Erica (really I am sorry for what I am about to confess). I am guilty of the following (and much, much more):
1. Feeding my sister Amanda cat food (I would roll up pieces of cat food in her chewing gum then feed it to her). This was put to an end when my mom observed Amanda eating out of the cat bowl one day (evidentally Amanda really liked it).
2. With three girls, my mom often threw us in the bath tub together. I can remember frequently taking our plastic play bowl and filling it up with warm water and soap chips and making my sisters drink the "soup".
3. Conning my sister into eating really gross food, for example, putting creamer in her water glass at Cracker Barrel and telling her it was milk. Consequently I am also guilty of conning that same sister (Erica) into believing green olives were actually grapes.
4. Anything that was broken or lost I blamed on my sisters.
I feel a little sorry for Caleb, after all, he has no one he can blame his outrageous antics on.
Last night I watched from my bedroom as Caleb looked around to see if anyone was watching him-feeling confident no one was looking, he lifted up his rug, peed on the floor, then placed the rug back down. I couldn't believe what I had just seen him do- it happened too quickly for me to have been able to prevent it. I went into his bedroom, made him clean it up then grounded him from watching television for the rest of the night. It was clear the reason he peed on the floor in the first place was because he didn't want to chance missing the movie he was watching by having to stop and go to the bathroom. That night as I was lying in bed, I thought about some of the outrageous things I had done as a child. The only difference? I had siblings (two younger sisters) to blame my antics on while Caleb is (so far) an only child. Looking back I did some things that were probably a lot worse than peeing on the carpet and trying to cover it up. Let me just apologize up front to my sisters Amanda and Erica (really I am sorry for what I am about to confess). I am guilty of the following (and much, much more):
1. Feeding my sister Amanda cat food (I would roll up pieces of cat food in her chewing gum then feed it to her). This was put to an end when my mom observed Amanda eating out of the cat bowl one day (evidentally Amanda really liked it).
2. With three girls, my mom often threw us in the bath tub together. I can remember frequently taking our plastic play bowl and filling it up with warm water and soap chips and making my sisters drink the "soup".
3. Conning my sister into eating really gross food, for example, putting creamer in her water glass at Cracker Barrel and telling her it was milk. Consequently I am also guilty of conning that same sister (Erica) into believing green olives were actually grapes.
4. Anything that was broken or lost I blamed on my sisters.
I feel a little sorry for Caleb, after all, he has no one he can blame his outrageous antics on.
Caleb and Dr. Seuss
"One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish"- Dr. Seuss
Caleb brought me back a present from his Nana's house this past weekend. Evidently Caleb went fishing at the back pond at his grandparents and caught three fish. As I was unpacking Caleb's overnight bag, I was surprised to discover three five inch fish in ziploc bags. Caleb begged me to freeze the fish in the freezer so that he could keep them forever. Instead we negotiated- I took a picture of him holding the three fish and he can frame the photo and keep it as his momento. I admit I continue to be cautious each time Caleb returns from his grandparents house....I never know what kind of animal he will try and bring home (see blog entry #1). I guess you can look at his fascination with dead animals one of two ways: either he is going to grow up to be a veterniarian or surgeon or he has some sort of sociopathic inclination to collect dead animals. I really hope we have a future doctor on our hands.
Yesterday morning Caleb and I left for school and work a bit early. Evidently Caleb noticed the time difference because as we were leaving the house I exclaimed, "God thank you for this beautiful day" in which Caleb responded, "Mommy, God can't hear you". Surprised I asked Caleb why not- his response: "God's still asleep because it's really early".
Caleb brought me back a present from his Nana's house this past weekend. Evidently Caleb went fishing at the back pond at his grandparents and caught three fish. As I was unpacking Caleb's overnight bag, I was surprised to discover three five inch fish in ziploc bags. Caleb begged me to freeze the fish in the freezer so that he could keep them forever. Instead we negotiated- I took a picture of him holding the three fish and he can frame the photo and keep it as his momento. I admit I continue to be cautious each time Caleb returns from his grandparents house....I never know what kind of animal he will try and bring home (see blog entry #1). I guess you can look at his fascination with dead animals one of two ways: either he is going to grow up to be a veterniarian or surgeon or he has some sort of sociopathic inclination to collect dead animals. I really hope we have a future doctor on our hands.
Yesterday morning Caleb and I left for school and work a bit early. Evidently Caleb noticed the time difference because as we were leaving the house I exclaimed, "God thank you for this beautiful day" in which Caleb responded, "Mommy, God can't hear you". Surprised I asked Caleb why not- his response: "God's still asleep because it's really early".
Jaws
(2007):
First let me say that I would never willingly watch the movie Jaws again much less allow my five year old son to watch it. I first saw the movie many years ago and have refused to watch it since (I don't want to ruin the ocean experience for myself). Evidently Matt has allowed Caleb to watch the movie...no, I didn't catch them watching the movie together, rather it was an incident that occurred during Caleb's bath a few nights ago. As I was running Caleb's bath water he asked me to get his plastic shark toy to play with. After tossing the toy to him (and thinking nothing of it) I checked on Caleb a couple minutes later and was horrified by what I saw. When I looked into the bath tub, Caleb had turned his plastic boat upside down and was using his shark to swim around the boat. My horror came after I noticed what looked like pools of red blood flowing throughout the bath water. Caleb had taken his Avon red bathtub finger paint and poured it into the water. I quickly realized he was re-enacting a scene from Jaws. I called for Matt to come upstairs who immediately busted out laughing then confessed they had recently watched Jaws. Warning to all parents: do not allow your young, impresionable child watch movies like Jaws...I am willing to bet a lot of money that when we travel to Florida next week, Caleb will not set foot in the ocean!
First let me say that I would never willingly watch the movie Jaws again much less allow my five year old son to watch it. I first saw the movie many years ago and have refused to watch it since (I don't want to ruin the ocean experience for myself). Evidently Matt has allowed Caleb to watch the movie...no, I didn't catch them watching the movie together, rather it was an incident that occurred during Caleb's bath a few nights ago. As I was running Caleb's bath water he asked me to get his plastic shark toy to play with. After tossing the toy to him (and thinking nothing of it) I checked on Caleb a couple minutes later and was horrified by what I saw. When I looked into the bath tub, Caleb had turned his plastic boat upside down and was using his shark to swim around the boat. My horror came after I noticed what looked like pools of red blood flowing throughout the bath water. Caleb had taken his Avon red bathtub finger paint and poured it into the water. I quickly realized he was re-enacting a scene from Jaws. I called for Matt to come upstairs who immediately busted out laughing then confessed they had recently watched Jaws. Warning to all parents: do not allow your young, impresionable child watch movies like Jaws...I am willing to bet a lot of money that when we travel to Florida next week, Caleb will not set foot in the ocean!
Kermit the Frog
As many of you already know Caleb has a great love for animals. Unfortunately Caleb sometimes loves nature's animals a little too hard (think of Linny in the movie "Of Mice and Men"). This past weekend Caleb found (AKA captured) a frog while taking a walk with his granddaddy on their farm. Caleb put the frog in a jar with dead bugs, grass and water. Once again, Caleb told his Nana he wanted to "bring it home for mommy". Caleb's Nana convinced Caleb to let the frog go that evening (she told him the frog was probably missing his frog family). Reluctantly Caleb went outdoors to let it go. He soon came back in (holding the frog upside down by his legs) and told his Nana, "Nana I think the frog is dead...when I opened the jar he wasn't moving so I threw him down on the patio a few times and he still isn't moving". Now I don't know if that frog was dead before he opened the jar to free him but I do think that if it wasn't already dead that throwing him on his head several times onto the concrete patio probably didn't help his survival chances. Caleb's Nana told him to go ahead and release him and maybe he would come back to life. Caleb went back outside and returned a few minutes later stating, "Nana I have thrown him down several more times and he still isn't coming back to life". They ended up burying the poor frog that night.
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth"...
(June 2007):
Okay maybe not "my two front teeth" but at least the bottom two teeth. Caleb and I discovered on Saturday that he has his first two loose teeth (his two front teeth on the bottom). Caleb was so excited...but not for the reasons I thought. Caleb has always been fascinated with money (more than your average kid). He absolutely loves money and if there is a coin within a 1 mile radius he will find it. Though Caleb's teeth are pretty loose, they are no where near ready to be pulled out. Caleb had other plans...he wanted me to pull out his two loose teeth so that the tooth fairy would visit him that night and bring him money. When asked how much the tooth fairy would be bringing him he replied, "ten dollars for each tooth". I told him that unless the value of teeth had dramatically inflated in the last decade, he was probably looking at $5 a tooth if he was lucky. Unfazed Caleb stated he would just have to pull out all of his teeth then in order to "get rich".
Okay maybe not "my two front teeth" but at least the bottom two teeth. Caleb and I discovered on Saturday that he has his first two loose teeth (his two front teeth on the bottom). Caleb was so excited...but not for the reasons I thought. Caleb has always been fascinated with money (more than your average kid). He absolutely loves money and if there is a coin within a 1 mile radius he will find it. Though Caleb's teeth are pretty loose, they are no where near ready to be pulled out. Caleb had other plans...he wanted me to pull out his two loose teeth so that the tooth fairy would visit him that night and bring him money. When asked how much the tooth fairy would be bringing him he replied, "ten dollars for each tooth". I told him that unless the value of teeth had dramatically inflated in the last decade, he was probably looking at $5 a tooth if he was lucky. Unfazed Caleb stated he would just have to pull out all of his teeth then in order to "get rich".
Quote
(June 2007):
Quote of the day:
"What does it mean when my winky stands up straight?" -Caleb
**I told him to ask Matt or his dad
Quote of the day:
"What does it mean when my winky stands up straight?" -Caleb
**I told him to ask Matt or his dad
"Spare the rod..."
Caleb and his best friend (the little girl that lives next door to us) decided it would be really funny to try and spank my butt (repeatedly). After getting whacked several times (pretty hard I might add), I shooed them out the door jokingly calling out that if they tried to spank me again I would use a switch on them. Caleb surprised me by saying he knew what a switch was and no way was I going to use one on him. I asked Caleb how he knew what a switch was and he replied, "my Nana has one and she uses it on granddaddy".
Hearing Caleb's latest story made me remember how when Caleb was very little he use to blame things on his granddaddy. For example, one morning I walked into the living room and discovered Caleb had colored all over the walls (he was about three years old at the time). When I asked Caleb why he did it he replied, "I didn't do it, granddaddy did". Now there was no way Caleb's granddaddy woke up that morning and drove from Danville to Lexington to color on our living room walls at the crack of dawn. I guess when you don't have any siblings to blame your devious acts on, you pick the next closest thing.
Hearing Caleb's latest story made me remember how when Caleb was very little he use to blame things on his granddaddy. For example, one morning I walked into the living room and discovered Caleb had colored all over the walls (he was about three years old at the time). When I asked Caleb why he did it he replied, "I didn't do it, granddaddy did". Now there was no way Caleb's granddaddy woke up that morning and drove from Danville to Lexington to color on our living room walls at the crack of dawn. I guess when you don't have any siblings to blame your devious acts on, you pick the next closest thing.
May he rest in peace...
(June 2007):
Oh the terrible luck Caleb has with animals...to recap our loss of animals from previous blog entries: first their was the hermit crab (eaten by the cat when Caleb accidentally left the hermit crab out on his bed), next was our hamster (scared to death by the same said cat after he had only been home for 48 hours), then there were the 3 fish (ate by the same cat yet again when we were at Disney World), and last- the poor frogs Caleb caught at his Nana's (and loved a little too hard- think "Of Mice and Men"). Our latest pet catastrophe is one of the kittens that was born out at Nana and Granddaddy's farm a couple of weeks ago.
Caleb's Nana called me last night to tell me that the kitten died this weekend. I couldn't help but laugh when she described the weekend before when she and Caleb thought the cat had died then (somehow he survived another week). Caleb's Nana said Caleb brought the kitten into the house and dumped him on the kitchen table stating he thought he was dead and they needed to bury him. Ever devoted Nana agreed but nearly died herself when she went outside to try and dig a hole to bury the poor thing. For those of you who don't live in KY it's been a good 90 degrees for a while now with little or no rain so the ground is so hard it's damn near impossible to stick a shovel in it (trust me I know...I planted flowers last weekend and could hardly move my arms the next morning). Nana finally got the hole dug when Caleb came over and said, "I think Jesus doesn't want the cat in heaven yet because he (the kitten) has decided to come back alive again". The kitten was indeed alive after all although the poor thing would only live a week. I guess Jesus was ready to play with that kitten in heaven after all.
Oh the terrible luck Caleb has with animals...to recap our loss of animals from previous blog entries: first their was the hermit crab (eaten by the cat when Caleb accidentally left the hermit crab out on his bed), next was our hamster (scared to death by the same said cat after he had only been home for 48 hours), then there were the 3 fish (ate by the same cat yet again when we were at Disney World), and last- the poor frogs Caleb caught at his Nana's (and loved a little too hard- think "Of Mice and Men"). Our latest pet catastrophe is one of the kittens that was born out at Nana and Granddaddy's farm a couple of weeks ago.
Caleb's Nana called me last night to tell me that the kitten died this weekend. I couldn't help but laugh when she described the weekend before when she and Caleb thought the cat had died then (somehow he survived another week). Caleb's Nana said Caleb brought the kitten into the house and dumped him on the kitchen table stating he thought he was dead and they needed to bury him. Ever devoted Nana agreed but nearly died herself when she went outside to try and dig a hole to bury the poor thing. For those of you who don't live in KY it's been a good 90 degrees for a while now with little or no rain so the ground is so hard it's damn near impossible to stick a shovel in it (trust me I know...I planted flowers last weekend and could hardly move my arms the next morning). Nana finally got the hole dug when Caleb came over and said, "I think Jesus doesn't want the cat in heaven yet because he (the kitten) has decided to come back alive again". The kitten was indeed alive after all although the poor thing would only live a week. I guess Jesus was ready to play with that kitten in heaven after all.
Things I love part III
The smell of new leather
The smell of gasoline (seriously, who doesn't?)
Kissing
Hot bubble baths
Coming home to a clean house
Finishing a great book
Watching childhood Christmas videos
A white Christmas
Laying out at the beach (bonus points if it includes the ocean)
Spending time with my son and husband
4 day weekends
Getting an A on a paper I worked hard on
Shrimp cocktail (bonus points because it's low fat)
A good beer buzz
80's movies (Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, etc.)
Re-connecting with old friends
Hairless cats (check out pics of my hairless babies)
Sunny, Fall days
Driving a new car
Democrats winning elections
Newborn babies
Tootsie rolls
Holidays
Christmas in New York
Great highlights
Finding the perfect shade of lip gloss
Weddings that include alcohol, good food, and great music
A raise in pay
Fresh flowers
Candles that smell good
Fresh paint
Expensive furniture
The smell of gasoline (seriously, who doesn't?)
Kissing
Hot bubble baths
Coming home to a clean house
Finishing a great book
Watching childhood Christmas videos
A white Christmas
Laying out at the beach (bonus points if it includes the ocean)
Spending time with my son and husband
4 day weekends
Getting an A on a paper I worked hard on
Shrimp cocktail (bonus points because it's low fat)
A good beer buzz
80's movies (Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, etc.)
Re-connecting with old friends
Hairless cats (check out pics of my hairless babies)
Sunny, Fall days
Driving a new car
Democrats winning elections
Newborn babies
Tootsie rolls
Holidays
Christmas in New York
Great highlights
Finding the perfect shade of lip gloss
Weddings that include alcohol, good food, and great music
A raise in pay
Fresh flowers
Candles that smell good
Fresh paint
Expensive furniture
John Caleb "the Baptist"
The bathroom sink water had been running for some time and the kids were suspiciously quiet. I went into the bathroom to discover my little sister's head was in the sink while my son, John Caleb, was splashing water on her head. I asked Caleb and Hannah what they were doing and Caleb replied, "I am baptizing Hannah"! I was speechless. I guess Sunday school is really having an impact on the
Infinite Wisdom
"You shouldn't swallow your gum Caleb- it's bad for your crotch"- my little sister Hannah
Stinky
Preface: Caleb is nearly three-years-old and needs to use the bathroom while we are eating at a restaurant. Unfortunately, the bathroom is small and is equipped with only two stalls. Upon entering the bathroom we discover one stall is occupied by a woman obviously in distress. It smells very, very badly as Caleb and I enter the adjacent stall. In a loud and clear voice Caleb says:
"Mommy, what's that smell"?
"Mommy, I smell a skunk".
"Mommy, something smells like a sewer"!
"Mommy I think I am going to throw up"!
"Shoo-wee mommy"!
"Mommy why are you laughing"?
I couldn't laugh out loud because the poor lady in the next stall would have heard me, however, I was violently shaking with silent laughter while tears ran down my face. The entire time Caleb used the bathroom I prayed he wouldn't actually throw up as he was accustomed to doing at that age any time he smelled something really bad (it was an automatic reflex). Luckily we made it out of the bathroom without Caleb throwing up or me laughing out loud.
"Mommy, what's that smell"?
"Mommy, I smell a skunk".
"Mommy, something smells like a sewer"!
"Mommy I think I am going to throw up"!
"Shoo-wee mommy"!
"Mommy why are you laughing"?
I couldn't laugh out loud because the poor lady in the next stall would have heard me, however, I was violently shaking with silent laughter while tears ran down my face. The entire time Caleb used the bathroom I prayed he wouldn't actually throw up as he was accustomed to doing at that age any time he smelled something really bad (it was an automatic reflex). Luckily we made it out of the bathroom without Caleb throwing up or me laughing out loud.
Meanie
Caleb: "I'm running away because you're being mean to me." (I was making him clean up his room).
Mommy: "Where are you going to go?"
Caleb: "I am running away to college."
Mommy: "Where are you going to go?"
Caleb: "I am running away to college."
Tales of Christmas Past
Preface: My little sister Hannah is three-years-old at the time and it's Christmas morning. (Traditionally, my mother wrapped gifts that were from her and my father, however, any presents from Santa were delivered pre Christmas morning unwrapped). Hannah pops out of bed and toddles into the living room.
Seeing that Hannah is very shocked and distraught (not the typical reaction you expect to see on Christmas morning) my mother asked her what's wrong. Hannah replied, "Somebody opened up my presents"! From that fateful morning on our mother has made sure Santa wraps all of Hannah's gifts.
Seeing that Hannah is very shocked and distraught (not the typical reaction you expect to see on Christmas morning) my mother asked her what's wrong. Hannah replied, "Somebody opened up my presents"! From that fateful morning on our mother has made sure Santa wraps all of Hannah's gifts.
Bark Bark
Preface: I was talking on the phone with my eight-year-old sister, Hannah. Hannah was describing her newly decorated room and house to me.
Hannah: "Blizzard (the Bearded-Collie) is really scared of the basement. She wont go down there at all".
Me: "Why do you think Blizzard's so scared"?
Hannah: "I think Blizzard thinks there are monsters down there...she's only six years old".
I suppressed my urge to laugh...after all, Hannah was absolutely sincere when she disclosed Blizzard's fear. Naturally I didn't point out to Hannah that although Blizzard is only six human years, she's actually forty-two in dog years.
Hannah: "Blizzard (the Bearded-Collie) is really scared of the basement. She wont go down there at all".
Me: "Why do you think Blizzard's so scared"?
Hannah: "I think Blizzard thinks there are monsters down there...she's only six years old".
I suppressed my urge to laugh...after all, Hannah was absolutely sincere when she disclosed Blizzard's fear. Naturally I didn't point out to Hannah that although Blizzard is only six human years, she's actually forty-two in dog years.
Happy Birthday
Preface: It's Caleb's great grandmother's 80th birthday party. Caleb is infamous for giving his great grandmother a hard time..
(In a room packed full of people):
Grandmomma: "Caleb how old do you think I am"?
Caleb: "Ten hundred and ninety-four".
(In a room packed full of people):
Grandmomma: "Caleb how old do you think I am"?
Caleb: "Ten hundred and ninety-four".
Chicken Nuggets
While we were driving back from his Nana's house on Sunday, Caleb told me he tried to talk his grandparents in to letting him buy a baby chick at the animal auction. Caleb stated he wanted to keep the baby chick as a pet. I proceeded to ask Caleb what he would do with the chick once it grew up. Caleb responded by saying, "turn it into chicken nuggets". Horrified, I quickly turned on the radio...
Mighty Putty
Preface: Caleb and I were watching TV together recently when a commercial for "Mighty Putty" came on. For those of you who haven't seen it, the spokeperson for the product is the same spokesperson who does the Oxy Clean commercials (a gentleman who is overly enthusiastic and loud). "Mighty Putty" appears incredible- evidently you stick it on to any object and it will stick there forever (examples on TV include repairing appliances and sticking hooks onto brick permanently).
Me: "Wow, "Mighty Putty" looks like it works really well".
Caleb: "My nana has some of that stuff at her house".
Me: "She does? Does it work well"?
Caleb: "We don't know...it smells really bad so we haven't been able to use it".
I began laughing...of course the commercial fails to mention this feature.
Me: "Wow, "Mighty Putty" looks like it works really well".
Caleb: "My nana has some of that stuff at her house".
Me: "She does? Does it work well"?
Caleb: "We don't know...it smells really bad so we haven't been able to use it".
I began laughing...of course the commercial fails to mention this feature.
Back to School
Preface: Upon returning home from Caleb's First Grade Open House (which occurred two days before the first day of school) I overheard the following conversation between Caleb and his friend/next door neighbor Kennedi:
Kennedi: Did you like your new teacher?
Caleb: My teacher is really nice...I think she is going to say yes to everything.
Trying hard not to laugh or give away my eavesdropping, I responded by saying that although his new teacher did seem very nice, it wasn't likely she would say yes to her students all of the time.
Kennedi: Did you like your new teacher?
Caleb: My teacher is really nice...I think she is going to say yes to everything.
Trying hard not to laugh or give away my eavesdropping, I responded by saying that although his new teacher did seem very nice, it wasn't likely she would say yes to her students all of the time.
Patrick and Bob
Patrick and Bob are the newest animals to bravely set up house in our home (please refer to previous blogs for the unfortunate bad luck some of our previous pets have endured). Patrick (who in hindsight should have been named Survivor) is a hermit crab Caleb won at the Jessamine Co. Fair (I guess I should consider myself fortunate considering you can now win a "pet" rabbit at your local county fair). What I didn't realize is that hermit crabs actually require a lot of care (at least initially). After researching hermit crabs on the internet, I was horrified to learn they need large enclosed aquariums, several inches of sand, toys, etc. (the man at the fair lied...hermit crabs will DIE if you leave them in the tiny plastic box they send you home with). Mind you, I did not learn this important info until 3 weeks AFTER Patrick had been living with us (hence the nickname "Survivor"). Equipped with my new hermit crab knowledge, I set out for the local PetSmart and bought all of the necessary items (and in the process bought Patrick a friend, Bob, as hermit crabs are very social creatures). Feeling very smug and knowlegable about my hermit crabs I nearly fell over dead when I read a recent newspaper article in the local paper. "Woman's Pet Hermit Crabs Still Alive After 30 years!" Thinking this was an isolated freak incident of nature I scanned the article quickly only to discover that yes, with proper care, hermit crabs can live to be 30-40 years old. All I could think is what the hell have I gotten myself into?
Survivor Part II
Patrick (AKA Survivor) has successfully cheated death yet again (please refer to previous blog for previous survival incident/encounter). As I was cleaning out the hermit crab aquarium in the guest bedroom, I left the room to get a scoop of fresh sand (normally I leave the guest room door shut, however, the door was open as I only stepped out for a brief moment). Upon re-entering the room I gasped loudly. Max (AKA the most mischievious cat in America if not the world) was hanging upside down in the aquarium with Patrick in his mouth! Upon yelling his name, Max dropped Patrick back into the aquarium and ran out of the room to hide. Luckily Patrick was unhurt and somehow survived yet again.
Gina Sometimes
Gina is my inner wild child. She doesn't get to come out and play as often as she used to. Gina likes to dance, drink and sing. Gina is daring, fun loving, can function on little sleep, and loves to smoke (though she isn't allowed this vice any longer as it doesn't exactly help asthmatic conditions). Gina loves having long hair, make-up, dangling earings, stiletto high heels, and acrylic nails (but only if they're done in a french manicure). Gina is engaging and the life of the party. Gina is a big flirt but for the most part pretty harmless. Gina loves laying out by the pool with a frosty beer. She doesn't always think things through. Gina is intrigued by the idea of plastic surgery...not fake breast (so 1990's), rather full, pouty lips and the inability to furrow her brows). Gina has a lot of friends. For now, Gina is content to play nice and be a good girl.
Taboo
1. I think tattoos are sexy. I have five tattoos (though only one is visible at all times). I cannot enter a tattoo shop without getting inked. If you ever need someone to accompany you to the tattoo parlor, don't invite me.
2. I love body piercings. At some point in time over the last ten years I have had the following body parts pierced: belly button (at age 18 through present), tongue (at age 21), nose (at age 26), eyebrow (at age 18). I think piercings are sexy (though I no longer like the "pierced tongue look"). Personally, I think most piercings are more flattering on girls than boys.
3. I think wearing underwear is overrated. Going "commando" is sometimes appropriate.
4. I think great kissing is more important than good sex.
5. I believe intelligence is sexier than a great body.
6. I think satin sheets suck (they're hot and slippery: NOT something you want when trying to sleep at night).
7. I believe you can never spend too much money on where you sleep: soft sheets, a great mattress and fluffy pillows are priceless.
8. I feel there is something wrong with people who don't like animals (of any kind).
9. If made to choose, I pick integrity over always being right.
10. I believe we all have more than one soul mate.
11. I think all forms of freedom in our country are taken for granted.
12. I believe you must know and love yourself before you can truly know and love another person.
2. I love body piercings. At some point in time over the last ten years I have had the following body parts pierced: belly button (at age 18 through present), tongue (at age 21), nose (at age 26), eyebrow (at age 18). I think piercings are sexy (though I no longer like the "pierced tongue look"). Personally, I think most piercings are more flattering on girls than boys.
3. I think wearing underwear is overrated. Going "commando" is sometimes appropriate.
4. I think great kissing is more important than good sex.
5. I believe intelligence is sexier than a great body.
6. I think satin sheets suck (they're hot and slippery: NOT something you want when trying to sleep at night).
7. I believe you can never spend too much money on where you sleep: soft sheets, a great mattress and fluffy pillows are priceless.
8. I feel there is something wrong with people who don't like animals (of any kind).
9. If made to choose, I pick integrity over always being right.
10. I believe we all have more than one soul mate.
11. I think all forms of freedom in our country are taken for granted.
12. I believe you must know and love yourself before you can truly know and love another person.
"Another one bites the dust"...
Bob has died! He now joins the motley crew of animals that have perished within our home: our hermit crab which was consumed by Chauve in 2005; our hamster Fluffy who in my heart I believe died from fright (Chauve was obsessed with staring at him at close range); Our fish Charlie who died from unknown causes/reasons; our three fish: Jaws, Davy Jones, and Penny who died after Chauve figured out how to reach their fish bowl while we were vacationing at Disney World; and Chauve, our evil hairless cat (primarily responsible for many of our pets deaths), who died from kidney disease. RIP Bob...I am sure you wont be lonely wherever you are. We loved you!
The why's and the how's
1. Why is it that an eighteen-year-old is considered responsible enough to vote in an election but not responsible enough to drink alcoholic beverages?
2. Why is it that you can give yourself an orgasm but not a hug?
3. How is it that the United States has some of the highest rates of illegal drug abuse yet is one of only a handful of countries that make these same drugs illegal in the first place?
4. Why are there so many starving people in the world when there are enough resources to meet all basic human needs worldwide?
5. At what point did we let technology (i.e. nuclear weapons) superceed the consequences of creating such advancements?
6. Why is one sin (such as lying) considered any worse than another sin (such as infidelity)? And who gets the authority to decide?
7. At what point do we hold politicians accountable for their lies (i.e. the war in Iraq)?
8. How long will we sit by and watch all of the injustices in the world before we speak up?
9. Why are we more concerned about celebreties than issues going on in the world?
2. Why is it that you can give yourself an orgasm but not a hug?
3. How is it that the United States has some of the highest rates of illegal drug abuse yet is one of only a handful of countries that make these same drugs illegal in the first place?
4. Why are there so many starving people in the world when there are enough resources to meet all basic human needs worldwide?
5. At what point did we let technology (i.e. nuclear weapons) superceed the consequences of creating such advancements?
6. Why is one sin (such as lying) considered any worse than another sin (such as infidelity)? And who gets the authority to decide?
7. At what point do we hold politicians accountable for their lies (i.e. the war in Iraq)?
8. How long will we sit by and watch all of the injustices in the world before we speak up?
9. Why are we more concerned about celebreties than issues going on in the world?
Things I don't understand...
I don’t understand...
1. Women who wear high heels while working out at the gym (while on the treadmill this morning, I observed a woman lifting weights while wearing heels).
2. The controversy over the song, "I Kissed a Girl"...I've kissed a girl before and trust me, it's not a big deal and (in my opinion) is way overrated. Parents: Relax! Your child listening to this song is not going to make them want to start making out with their playmates.
3. I don't understand people who cut you off unexpectedly without any explanation...it's rude and insensitive.
4. I don't understand why anyone would vote for Mitch McConnell...his recent advertisements indicate that voting for Bruce Lunsford (his opponent) would be bad because Lunsford opposes expanding offshore drilling for oil. Are you serious??? Offshore drilling IS BAD! I would like to sit Mr. McConnell down and make him watch "An Inconvenient Truth" at least 25 times.
5. I would like to point out to counties that are "dry" and oppose laws that would allow the sell of alcoholic beverages in their counties that the highest drug abuse rates among teens and young adults occur in these same "dry" counties. Go figure...
6. John McCain recently admitted in public that he doesn't know how many homes he and his wealthy wife own (the answer is seven). This is the man that Republicans say is the answer to the United States economic problems?
7. Magic and fantasy are just that. Again, parents...Harry Potter, etc. is not evil. Your children will not learn about "evil" witchcraft and devil worshipping, rather, they will learn the value of friendship, honesty, and love. Encourage your child to read...an educated mind paves the way to a better future.
1. Women who wear high heels while working out at the gym (while on the treadmill this morning, I observed a woman lifting weights while wearing heels).
2. The controversy over the song, "I Kissed a Girl"...I've kissed a girl before and trust me, it's not a big deal and (in my opinion) is way overrated. Parents: Relax! Your child listening to this song is not going to make them want to start making out with their playmates.
3. I don't understand people who cut you off unexpectedly without any explanation...it's rude and insensitive.
4. I don't understand why anyone would vote for Mitch McConnell...his recent advertisements indicate that voting for Bruce Lunsford (his opponent) would be bad because Lunsford opposes expanding offshore drilling for oil. Are you serious??? Offshore drilling IS BAD! I would like to sit Mr. McConnell down and make him watch "An Inconvenient Truth" at least 25 times.
5. I would like to point out to counties that are "dry" and oppose laws that would allow the sell of alcoholic beverages in their counties that the highest drug abuse rates among teens and young adults occur in these same "dry" counties. Go figure...
6. John McCain recently admitted in public that he doesn't know how many homes he and his wealthy wife own (the answer is seven). This is the man that Republicans say is the answer to the United States economic problems?
7. Magic and fantasy are just that. Again, parents...Harry Potter, etc. is not evil. Your children will not learn about "evil" witchcraft and devil worshipping, rather, they will learn the value of friendship, honesty, and love. Encourage your child to read...an educated mind paves the way to a better future.
May I have your attention please
Movies that all Americans should watch:
1. Sicko
2. Thank You For Smoking
3. Farenheit 911
4. An Inconvenient Truth
5. I Am Sam
6. Martian Child
7. Bowling for Columbine
8. Supersize Me
1. Sicko
2. Thank You For Smoking
3. Farenheit 911
4. An Inconvenient Truth
5. I Am Sam
6. Martian Child
7. Bowling for Columbine
8. Supersize Me
Contradictions
I like to be taken care of but love my independence.
I enjoy nice things but believe in humility.
I believe in respecting the opinions and beliefs of others but struggle when they vary so widely from my own.
I believe each individual has a soul mate but that we may all have more than one.
I believe in spirituality but not necessarily in religion.
I believe in world peace but acknowledge that sometimes you have to fight in order to obtain it.
I believe there is a difference between being educated and being wise
I enjoy nice things but believe in humility.
I believe in respecting the opinions and beliefs of others but struggle when they vary so widely from my own.
I believe each individual has a soul mate but that we may all have more than one.
I believe in spirituality but not necessarily in religion.
I believe in world peace but acknowledge that sometimes you have to fight in order to obtain it.
I believe there is a difference between being educated and being wise
TSS and Dogs
Toxic Shock Syndrome (AKA TSS) is a life-threatening illness a person can develop in a multitude of ways (women are at a low risk of developing TSS whenever using tampons).
Recently, I came home and found shredded cotton all over my bedroom carpet. I didn't think too much about it until I later found bits of chewed up blue plastic that looked suspiciously like the tampons I keep in my bathroom. Looking under the bed, I discovered that Izzie had gone into the bathroom, somehow opened up a brand new box of tampons, then proceeded to open and eat most of them. Bad Izzie! How did she survive?
Perhaps Izzie is trying to tell me something...just to be safe I bought her a large box of dog bones at the grocery this morning.
Recently, I came home and found shredded cotton all over my bedroom carpet. I didn't think too much about it until I later found bits of chewed up blue plastic that looked suspiciously like the tampons I keep in my bathroom. Looking under the bed, I discovered that Izzie had gone into the bathroom, somehow opened up a brand new box of tampons, then proceeded to open and eat most of them. Bad Izzie! How did she survive?
Perhaps Izzie is trying to tell me something...just to be safe I bought her a large box of dog bones at the grocery this morning.
Things that go bump in the night part I
Ridiculous things that scare me...
1. Aliens. The concept is cool and most likely (given the size of our universe) true. With that said, I ask any aliens to please spare me and do not "beam me up" for experimental procedures. I couldn't sleep for a week after watching "Fire in the Sky"...holy sh*t, even thinking about it now gives me the heebie- jeebies!
2. Running the dryer while I am sleeping (I have Trish to thank for this one). According to the Today Show (via Trish), your dryer lint can catch fire and burn your house down with you in it.
3. Spiders. Gross. Snakes I can handle and if they aren't poisonous I can even hold them-no problem. Can you say "Arachnaphobia"? This is another movie that resulted in insomnia and extreme paranoia (parents: do NOT allow your ten year old child to watch this...mine did and that's probably why I am terrified of spiders to this day).
4. Cancer. With that said, let me say that cancer is in no way ridiculous, however, my friend Elizabeth and I have always been paranoid that we have some form of cancer (my fear of lung cancer has decreased somewhat since I quit smoking a couple of years ago but I still have bouts of cancer paranoia/fears).
5. Terrorists. Again, with that said, terrorist attacks are no laughing matter nor are they ridiculous as 9/11 indicated to the world. However, (again my friend Elizabeth and I) are fearful of being attacked (personally mind you) by terrorists. In all likelihood, terrorists are not going to attack Lexington, KY but that hasn't seemed to lesson our fears much.
6. The Moth Man Myth. Again, if you scare easily, do NOT read this book and do NOT watch this movie (and if you do, don't do both in the same week). It is allegedly based on true events that took place in Ohio and it will scare the sh*t out of you. I watched this movie when I was in my early twenties and I couldn't go outside by myself at night for months afterwards. It still freaks me out to no end.
7. The movie "Jeepers Creepers". Why I watched this I will never know but it really freaked me out. I enjoy horror movies but this movie just scared me senseless.
1. Aliens. The concept is cool and most likely (given the size of our universe) true. With that said, I ask any aliens to please spare me and do not "beam me up" for experimental procedures. I couldn't sleep for a week after watching "Fire in the Sky"...holy sh*t, even thinking about it now gives me the heebie- jeebies!
2. Running the dryer while I am sleeping (I have Trish to thank for this one). According to the Today Show (via Trish), your dryer lint can catch fire and burn your house down with you in it.
3. Spiders. Gross. Snakes I can handle and if they aren't poisonous I can even hold them-no problem. Can you say "Arachnaphobia"? This is another movie that resulted in insomnia and extreme paranoia (parents: do NOT allow your ten year old child to watch this...mine did and that's probably why I am terrified of spiders to this day).
4. Cancer. With that said, let me say that cancer is in no way ridiculous, however, my friend Elizabeth and I have always been paranoid that we have some form of cancer (my fear of lung cancer has decreased somewhat since I quit smoking a couple of years ago but I still have bouts of cancer paranoia/fears).
5. Terrorists. Again, with that said, terrorist attacks are no laughing matter nor are they ridiculous as 9/11 indicated to the world. However, (again my friend Elizabeth and I) are fearful of being attacked (personally mind you) by terrorists. In all likelihood, terrorists are not going to attack Lexington, KY but that hasn't seemed to lesson our fears much.
6. The Moth Man Myth. Again, if you scare easily, do NOT read this book and do NOT watch this movie (and if you do, don't do both in the same week). It is allegedly based on true events that took place in Ohio and it will scare the sh*t out of you. I watched this movie when I was in my early twenties and I couldn't go outside by myself at night for months afterwards. It still freaks me out to no end.
7. The movie "Jeepers Creepers". Why I watched this I will never know but it really freaked me out. I enjoy horror movies but this movie just scared me senseless.
Things that go bump in the night part II
(AKA additional ridiculous things that scare me)
1. The "Bloody Mary" Legend (standing in a dark room and saying "Bloody Mary" three times while facing a mirror).
2. The movie "Candyman". To this day, I cannot say "Candyman" five times while sitting alone in a room (in all fairness I was only twelve when I saw this movie but obviously it affected me a great deal).
3. True stories about the Bermuda Triangle. I think they are fascinating but they still give me the heebie-jeebies.
4. Aliens. I know I put this in the Part I blog but really, they scare me.
5. Having another Republican President.
6. Sarah Palin (no description needed...please refer to previous blogs).
7. Flying on an airplane. I have flown many times but watching the original "Twilight Zone" movie ruined flying for me. (I couldn't walk past an uncovered window for days after watching
1. The "Bloody Mary" Legend (standing in a dark room and saying "Bloody Mary" three times while facing a mirror).
2. The movie "Candyman". To this day, I cannot say "Candyman" five times while sitting alone in a room (in all fairness I was only twelve when I saw this movie but obviously it affected me a great deal).
3. True stories about the Bermuda Triangle. I think they are fascinating but they still give me the heebie-jeebies.
4. Aliens. I know I put this in the Part I blog but really, they scare me.
5. Having another Republican President.
6. Sarah Palin (no description needed...please refer to previous blogs).
7. Flying on an airplane. I have flown many times but watching the original "Twilight Zone" movie ruined flying for me. (I couldn't walk past an uncovered window for days after watching
Jobs for a day...
Jobs I think would be fun to work at for just a day:
1. Rock star: who doesn't want to live the glam life if even only for a day?
2. Circus performer: I would really love to have a couple drinks with some of those freaks.
3. Racecar Driver: I feel the need for speed baby.
4. Gossip columnist: getting paid to write the scoop on everyone else? Sounds like heaven to me.
5. Professional dancer: I love to dance! And who wouldn't want to perform all of those sexy dances such as the mamba and the cha cha?
6. Gymnast at the Olympics: they amaze me to no end.
7. Supermodel: the world simply adores you.
8. UN Ambassador: My dream job.
9. President of the United States: just give me one day and I would make things happen :-)
10. Go-go dancer: at a famous NYC club...I have seen these girls perform and they are amazing.
11. TV journalist for Dateline: how exciting to be able to travel around the world for exclusives with important people.
12. A Medium: pyschic powers are very cool, especially when you use them to help others.
13. FBI secret agent: going undercover and kicking some ass.
1. Rock star: who doesn't want to live the glam life if even only for a day?
2. Circus performer: I would really love to have a couple drinks with some of those freaks.
3. Racecar Driver: I feel the need for speed baby.
4. Gossip columnist: getting paid to write the scoop on everyone else? Sounds like heaven to me.
5. Professional dancer: I love to dance! And who wouldn't want to perform all of those sexy dances such as the mamba and the cha cha?
6. Gymnast at the Olympics: they amaze me to no end.
7. Supermodel: the world simply adores you.
8. UN Ambassador: My dream job.
9. President of the United States: just give me one day and I would make things happen :-)
10. Go-go dancer: at a famous NYC club...I have seen these girls perform and they are amazing.
11. TV journalist for Dateline: how exciting to be able to travel around the world for exclusives with important people.
12. A Medium: pyschic powers are very cool, especially when you use them to help others.
13. FBI secret agent: going undercover and kicking some ass.
More about me...
•The second toe on both of my feet is longer than my big toes. It's called the Royalty Toe (go figure).
•Anyone who can play acoustic guitar rocks my world...especially if they sing too.
•I think in this day and age every woman should own at least one vibrator.
•When I drink alcohol Gina usually makes an appearance.
•I was a vegetarian for seven years.
•I hate it when a man is physically smaller than me.
•I love it when I unexpectedly reach into my pockets and find spare change.
•I would consider plastic surgery.
•I don't understand women who work out in heels.
•I only wear high heels when going out on the weekends.
•I love cold sheets and cold pillows.
•I cannot sleep at night unless my fan is turned on to muffle outside noises.
•"Super Bad" is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.
•I love the smell of gasoline, pine-sol, and great cologne.
•I don't care anything about a guy's muscles.
•Despite it all, I love Brittany Spears.
•Everyone should own a pair of "So Beech" sheets.
•Carol Burnett is my favorite female comedian of all time.
•I have always wanted to have a gay male best friend (so that I can be "Karen" and he can be "Jack" from "Will and Grace")
•Telemarketers piss me off.
•I think a prominent breastbone is sexy on a woman.
•Hands down Catholics throw the best weddings and wedding receptions.
•I gave up Aspartame products and I still hate that I had to do it.
•I smoked a cigarette recently and realized exactly why I quit smoking in the first place…I haven't picked one up since.
•I am tempted to take strip teasing classes in order to become more toned.
•I want to have my teeth professionally whitened.
•Cats with hair make me sneeze, hence why I own two sphinx cats.
•I was never tempted to try drugs because I am too afraid to snort anything up my nose.
•I love gel pens.
•I am addicted to Sea Island Cotton scented hand sanitizer (Bath and Body Works).
•"O Holy Night" is my favorite Christmas song.
•I still believe in the Easter Bunny.
•I love dressing up for Halloween.
•Anyone who can play acoustic guitar rocks my world...especially if they sing too.
•I think in this day and age every woman should own at least one vibrator.
•When I drink alcohol Gina usually makes an appearance.
•I was a vegetarian for seven years.
•I hate it when a man is physically smaller than me.
•I love it when I unexpectedly reach into my pockets and find spare change.
•I would consider plastic surgery.
•I don't understand women who work out in heels.
•I only wear high heels when going out on the weekends.
•I love cold sheets and cold pillows.
•I cannot sleep at night unless my fan is turned on to muffle outside noises.
•"Super Bad" is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.
•I love the smell of gasoline, pine-sol, and great cologne.
•I don't care anything about a guy's muscles.
•Despite it all, I love Brittany Spears.
•Everyone should own a pair of "So Beech" sheets.
•Carol Burnett is my favorite female comedian of all time.
•I have always wanted to have a gay male best friend (so that I can be "Karen" and he can be "Jack" from "Will and Grace")
•Telemarketers piss me off.
•I think a prominent breastbone is sexy on a woman.
•Hands down Catholics throw the best weddings and wedding receptions.
•I gave up Aspartame products and I still hate that I had to do it.
•I smoked a cigarette recently and realized exactly why I quit smoking in the first place…I haven't picked one up since.
•I am tempted to take strip teasing classes in order to become more toned.
•I want to have my teeth professionally whitened.
•Cats with hair make me sneeze, hence why I own two sphinx cats.
•I was never tempted to try drugs because I am too afraid to snort anything up my nose.
•I love gel pens.
•I am addicted to Sea Island Cotton scented hand sanitizer (Bath and Body Works).
•"O Holy Night" is my favorite Christmas song.
•I still believe in the Easter Bunny.
•I love dressing up for Halloween.
"She Bops"
As a child, I was infatuated with 80's singer Cyndi Lauper. My sisters, cousins and I often put on "plays", "dances", etc. in our basement (typically this involved lip-synching, dancing and/or roller-skating). I find it pretty funny that one of my favorite songs to perform as a child was Ms. Lauper's "She Bops". It wasn't until years later that I came to truly understand the meaning of that particular song. It makes me laugh to imagine my ten-year-old self passionately belting out the words to a song that actually refers to masturbation
Teach Your Children
1.To respect others but more importantly to respect themselves.
2.To be tolerant and open-minded.
3.To be assertive without being overbearing.
4.To be kind but not get taken advantage of.
5.To speak out against prejudice and racism.
6.That education is priceless.
7.Engage your children in books…the love of reading is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
8.To not judge or condemn others.
9.To live by the Golden Rule: "Do unto others and you would have done unto you". Karma really does translate into "what comes around goes around".
10.To be kind to all living creatures.
11.To be proud of whom they are.
12.To express their feelings and emotions.
13.To be sensitive to the world around them.
14.There is a higher power and it's okay if not everyone believes in the same things. There is not one "true" or "right" religion.
15.To be politically aware.
16.To be opinionated.
17.That you must love yourself before you can truly give your heart to another.
18.That love knows no color.
19.That all human beings deserve to be valued and respected.
20.That freedom is priceless.
21.That they are loved.
22.That small acts can and often do change the world.
2.To be tolerant and open-minded.
3.To be assertive without being overbearing.
4.To be kind but not get taken advantage of.
5.To speak out against prejudice and racism.
6.That education is priceless.
7.Engage your children in books…the love of reading is one of the greatest gifts you can give.
8.To not judge or condemn others.
9.To live by the Golden Rule: "Do unto others and you would have done unto you". Karma really does translate into "what comes around goes around".
10.To be kind to all living creatures.
11.To be proud of whom they are.
12.To express their feelings and emotions.
13.To be sensitive to the world around them.
14.There is a higher power and it's okay if not everyone believes in the same things. There is not one "true" or "right" religion.
15.To be politically aware.
16.To be opinionated.
17.That you must love yourself before you can truly give your heart to another.
18.That love knows no color.
19.That all human beings deserve to be valued and respected.
20.That freedom is priceless.
21.That they are loved.
22.That small acts can and often do change the world.
Therapy vs. Confession
During a recent conversation with friends, the subject of therapy came up. I was surprised by the number of friends I have that see a therapist on a regular basis. While I agree that therapy is cathartic, it is difficult for me to commit to therapy long-term (kind of ironic…I mean, how can I address my commitment issues if I can't commit to seeing my therapist on a long-term basis?) Discussing therapy is no longer taboo…my generation openly talks about therapy in the same way they might talk about the weather. I am also a strong advocate for therapy…I feel anyone can benefit from it regardless of the person's current well-being (or for that matter, lack thereof). The act of confiding in a trusted, objective and nonjudgmental person is comforting. After a good therapy session I walk away feeling the same way I felt as a child after Confession (confessing your sins to a Catholic priest)…light, pure, and absolved. I no longer go to confession (Yes, Father, it's been about 10 years since my last confession) because I no longer consider myself Catholic. No offense to priests, but I think Confession is a hoax. For example, in high school after confessing to having premarital sex with my then long-term boyfriend, the priest asked me how many times I had committed that particular sin. I don't recall my answer (though I am sure I lied…what was I supposed to say…umm 59.5 times?) but I felt it was very inappropriate for the priest to ask for specifics...I mean seriously, what difference does it make if it was once or a thousand times? On another occasion I had a different priest ask me for the details/specifics of messing around with my then boyfriend (I am sure he went home and jacked-off afterwards). With therapy, you actually get honest and positive feedback without having to say 100 Hail Mary's afterwards or worry about the priest getting off on your sins. At least with therapy, you are given the tools to help change your life. My conversation with friends prompted me to schedule an appointment to check in with my therapist next week and thank God once again I am no longer Catholic.
Liar, liar pants on fire...
Lies I told my parents as a teenager:
1."I haven't been drinking I swear".
2."No, I didn't sneak out".
3."I'll be home by curfew".
4."I'm spending the night with one of my girlfriend's tonight".
5."I promise I wont have a party while you're gone".
6."No, I am not sexually active".
7."My homework is done".
8."I'm late getting home because we had a minor car accident".
9."I would never sneak a boy in at night".
10."I wouldn't lie to you".
11."I don't know what happened to the alcohol in the refrigerator".
12."I didn't take money out of your purse".
13."I would never smoke cigarettes".
14."I would never smoke pot".
15."I am too sick to go to school today".
Amazingly enough my parents believed all of these lies...not because they were stupid but because in actuality I was a good kid. Though I told them some white lies, I was pretty honest and trustworthy most of the time. Though my mother would laugh at this list now, it would actually piss my dad off (despite the fact I am nearly thirty-years-old). I guess there are some things a daughter should never tell her father.
1."I haven't been drinking I swear".
2."No, I didn't sneak out".
3."I'll be home by curfew".
4."I'm spending the night with one of my girlfriend's tonight".
5."I promise I wont have a party while you're gone".
6."No, I am not sexually active".
7."My homework is done".
8."I'm late getting home because we had a minor car accident".
9."I would never sneak a boy in at night".
10."I wouldn't lie to you".
11."I don't know what happened to the alcohol in the refrigerator".
12."I didn't take money out of your purse".
13."I would never smoke cigarettes".
14."I would never smoke pot".
15."I am too sick to go to school today".
Amazingly enough my parents believed all of these lies...not because they were stupid but because in actuality I was a good kid. Though I told them some white lies, I was pretty honest and trustworthy most of the time. Though my mother would laugh at this list now, it would actually piss my dad off (despite the fact I am nearly thirty-years-old). I guess there are some things a daughter should never tell her father.
Snake in the Grass
If you know me well, you know what my spiritual beliefs are and my views on religion so you can imagine my horror when I overheard the following conversation between Caleb and Kennedi yesterday:
Caleb: "You know, the devil is a snake".
Kennedi: "I know. Maybe the snake we saw in your yard last summer was the devil".
Caleb: "That couldn't have been the devil…the devil snake hates light".
Evidently, Sunday school at his grandparents church is rubbing off on Caleb. I tried explaining to Caleb (in private) that the story of Adam, Eve, and the snake is just a parable, that is, a story that teaches a lesson. Despite my explanation, Caleb continues to believe the devil is a real live snake. With that said, Caleb also shares my views on reincarnation. Though I handled his snake story appropriately, it would be interesting to see his grandparents and the church's reaction if Caleb were to make a statement regarding reincarnation in front of them.
Caleb: "You know, the devil is a snake".
Kennedi: "I know. Maybe the snake we saw in your yard last summer was the devil".
Caleb: "That couldn't have been the devil…the devil snake hates light".
Evidently, Sunday school at his grandparents church is rubbing off on Caleb. I tried explaining to Caleb (in private) that the story of Adam, Eve, and the snake is just a parable, that is, a story that teaches a lesson. Despite my explanation, Caleb continues to believe the devil is a real live snake. With that said, Caleb also shares my views on reincarnation. Though I handled his snake story appropriately, it would be interesting to see his grandparents and the church's reaction if Caleb were to make a statement regarding reincarnation in front of them.
Flashing Ta-tas
My mother and my sister Amanda recently attended a Celine Dion concert in NYC (Amanda managed to legitimately swing 6th row tickets). Both my mother and sister hissed in vehement protest when two young girls took the two seats in front of them. Apparently it's pretty common for females to flash their ta-ta's to the male concert staff in order to obtain tickets close to the stage. My mother was shocked when she heard me exclaim that it sounded like a great plan to me. I see nothing wrong with flashing your girls in order to obtain front row seats. Trust me, if men could obtain great tickets in the same manner, I have no doubt they would. (Disclaimer: I know my husband is going to read this blog and recoil at my above comments, however, I would like to assure him at this time that if we were trying to get front row tickets to one of his favorite artist (such as Lil Wayne) he would probably flash my ta-ta's for me
You rocked the 80's if:
1. You had trouble deciding which Corey was hotter.
2. "Stand By Me" was more than just a song.
3. You had a crush on Christian Slater.
4. "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" was your favorite song and favorite movie.
5. Holding a boy's hand was a big deal.
6. Even though your parents forbid it, you secretly watched "Dirty Dancing", "Parenthood", "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th".
7. You had a crush on "Jake Ryan" and wanted to be Molly Ringwald.
8. You thought Paula Abdul could sing.
9. You carried a pick in your purse in order to maintain your teased hair.
10. You watched (and laughed hysterically at) "Mr. Bean", a socially retarded Brit.
11. You remember crying when "baby Jessica" was rescued.
12. You looked forward to Friday night television (T.G.I.F).
13. Michael Jackson still looked normal.
14. You wanted to dance like Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul.
15. Guilty pleasures included watching "Love Connection" and "Married with Children".
2. "Stand By Me" was more than just a song.
3. You had a crush on Christian Slater.
4. "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" was your favorite song and favorite movie.
5. Holding a boy's hand was a big deal.
6. Even though your parents forbid it, you secretly watched "Dirty Dancing", "Parenthood", "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th".
7. You had a crush on "Jake Ryan" and wanted to be Molly Ringwald.
8. You thought Paula Abdul could sing.
9. You carried a pick in your purse in order to maintain your teased hair.
10. You watched (and laughed hysterically at) "Mr. Bean", a socially retarded Brit.
11. You remember crying when "baby Jessica" was rescued.
12. You looked forward to Friday night television (T.G.I.F).
13. Michael Jackson still looked normal.
14. You wanted to dance like Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul.
15. Guilty pleasures included watching "Love Connection" and "Married with Children".
Dancing with the animals- I mean stars...
"Dancing with the Stars"
It's that time of year again: "Dancing with the Stars" has begun! Here's a quick recap: Caleb is very excited the new season has started. Phoenix (AKA Dumpster Diver) took refuge by hiding out in the garage and refusing to come inside. As a last resort, Caleb chose Izzie, our yorkie-poo, to be his dancing partner last night. All things considered, Izzie reacted fairly well given this was her first Dancing with the Stars season. Unlike the other dancers, Caleb and Izzie opted to perform 80's "robot" dance moves in place of the mamba. Halfway into the last number, Caleb decided to strip down to his underwear before finishing the dance. I believe dancing in his underwear is a first for the "Dancing with the Stars" performers. "Dancing with the Stars" continues this evening and I feel confident Caleb will locate his lovable if not reluctant dancing partner, Dumpster Diver. Stay tuned for more…
It's that time of year again: "Dancing with the Stars" has begun! Here's a quick recap: Caleb is very excited the new season has started. Phoenix (AKA Dumpster Diver) took refuge by hiding out in the garage and refusing to come inside. As a last resort, Caleb chose Izzie, our yorkie-poo, to be his dancing partner last night. All things considered, Izzie reacted fairly well given this was her first Dancing with the Stars season. Unlike the other dancers, Caleb and Izzie opted to perform 80's "robot" dance moves in place of the mamba. Halfway into the last number, Caleb decided to strip down to his underwear before finishing the dance. I believe dancing in his underwear is a first for the "Dancing with the Stars" performers. "Dancing with the Stars" continues this evening and I feel confident Caleb will locate his lovable if not reluctant dancing partner, Dumpster Diver. Stay tuned for more…
The good, the bad, and the ugly
The bad qualities I tend to possess:
I tend to be:
1.Jealous
2.Possessive
3.Emotional
4.Aggressive
5.Self-destructive
6.Self-sabotaging
7.Lazy and let others do things for me
8.Selfish
9.Impatient
10.Demanding
11.Controlling
12.Critical/over analyzing
13.Intimacy issues
14.Overly sensitive
15.Gossiping
16.At times indecisive
17.Gullible
18.Protective of my vulnerability
19.Hurt easily
20.Trust issues
21.High (and at times unrealistic) expectations of self and others
22.Being too responsible (tendency to sometimes put others before myself)
23.Easily over-stimulated
24.Tendency towards solitude
25.At times can be overly needy
26.At times can be too independent
27.Struggle to tolerate other attitudes and beliefs that vary widely from my own
The good qualities I tend to possess:
I tend to be:
1.Passionate
2.Loyal
3.Kind
4.Leadership/take charge
5.Advocate
6.Fair
7.Family oriented
8.Protective
9.Confident
10.Opinionated
11.Educated
12.The need for things to be equal and just
13.Motivated
14.Spiritual
15.Loving
16.Compassionate
17.Sensitive
18.Trustworthy
19.Open minded
20.Non-judgmental
21.Seeks a balance (in the world, with others, and with myself)
22.Activist
23.Creative
24.Political
25.Good sense of humor; love to laugh
26.Articulate
27.Responsible
28.Caring
29.Peacemaker
30.Hard working
31.Optimist (the glass is half full)
32.Liberal
33.Bleeding heart when it comes to causes I believe in
34.Strong
I tend to be:
1.Jealous
2.Possessive
3.Emotional
4.Aggressive
5.Self-destructive
6.Self-sabotaging
7.Lazy and let others do things for me
8.Selfish
9.Impatient
10.Demanding
11.Controlling
12.Critical/over analyzing
13.Intimacy issues
14.Overly sensitive
15.Gossiping
16.At times indecisive
17.Gullible
18.Protective of my vulnerability
19.Hurt easily
20.Trust issues
21.High (and at times unrealistic) expectations of self and others
22.Being too responsible (tendency to sometimes put others before myself)
23.Easily over-stimulated
24.Tendency towards solitude
25.At times can be overly needy
26.At times can be too independent
27.Struggle to tolerate other attitudes and beliefs that vary widely from my own
The good qualities I tend to possess:
I tend to be:
1.Passionate
2.Loyal
3.Kind
4.Leadership/take charge
5.Advocate
6.Fair
7.Family oriented
8.Protective
9.Confident
10.Opinionated
11.Educated
12.The need for things to be equal and just
13.Motivated
14.Spiritual
15.Loving
16.Compassionate
17.Sensitive
18.Trustworthy
19.Open minded
20.Non-judgmental
21.Seeks a balance (in the world, with others, and with myself)
22.Activist
23.Creative
24.Political
25.Good sense of humor; love to laugh
26.Articulate
27.Responsible
28.Caring
29.Peacemaker
30.Hard working
31.Optimist (the glass is half full)
32.Liberal
33.Bleeding heart when it comes to causes I believe in
34.Strong
In a Perfect World
In a perfect world I am an adored and successful writer and political activist. I spend significant amounts of time volunteering and facilitating charity events. In a perfect world I never worry about time or money because there's plenty of each. Deadlines are met easily and hard work is always rewarded.
In a perfect world I am the best mother. I have time to play games, color and watch cartoons with my son. Freshly baked cookies and homemade apple cider fill our kitchen. In a perfect world I have time to volunteer at my son's school and chaperone field trips. Play dates are simple and days are filled with trips to the zoo, pumpkin orchards, and picnics. In a perfect world I have a doting nanny whom the family loves dearly.
In a perfect world marriage is easy. Weekend getaways and romantic vacations at the beach occur with frequency. In a perfect world we are debt free and are financially competent enough to know which stocks are wise to invest in. In a perfect world I throw dinner parties and have friends over often. I plan and cook exquisite gourmet meals. We drink wine and laugh into the late night hours around a crackling fire. In a perfect world my friends lives are filled with love and happiness. We have more time for each other and spend hours catching up on the latest gossip.
In a perfect world I lobby for issues I believe in and world peace is attainable. The economy is good and our country is thriving. World leaders are competent and work together. In a perfect world there are no wars and resources are plentiful and belong to everyone. Prejudice and intolerance are eradicated and people respect one another.
In a perfect world I sing beautifully, speak three languages, am an accomplished world traveler, and have mastered the art of Arabic belly dancing. In a perfect world I have more time to read which leads to more ideas and time for writing. In a perfect world I am not allergic to animals, animal and human cruelties are nonexistent, and heinous crimes only occur in horror movies. In a perfect world my family lives closer. We meet regularly for lunch and happy hour. In a perfect world I am more relaxed, laugh more often and enjoy the present more
In a perfect world I am the best mother. I have time to play games, color and watch cartoons with my son. Freshly baked cookies and homemade apple cider fill our kitchen. In a perfect world I have time to volunteer at my son's school and chaperone field trips. Play dates are simple and days are filled with trips to the zoo, pumpkin orchards, and picnics. In a perfect world I have a doting nanny whom the family loves dearly.
In a perfect world marriage is easy. Weekend getaways and romantic vacations at the beach occur with frequency. In a perfect world we are debt free and are financially competent enough to know which stocks are wise to invest in. In a perfect world I throw dinner parties and have friends over often. I plan and cook exquisite gourmet meals. We drink wine and laugh into the late night hours around a crackling fire. In a perfect world my friends lives are filled with love and happiness. We have more time for each other and spend hours catching up on the latest gossip.
In a perfect world I lobby for issues I believe in and world peace is attainable. The economy is good and our country is thriving. World leaders are competent and work together. In a perfect world there are no wars and resources are plentiful and belong to everyone. Prejudice and intolerance are eradicated and people respect one another.
In a perfect world I sing beautifully, speak three languages, am an accomplished world traveler, and have mastered the art of Arabic belly dancing. In a perfect world I have more time to read which leads to more ideas and time for writing. In a perfect world I am not allergic to animals, animal and human cruelties are nonexistent, and heinous crimes only occur in horror movies. In a perfect world my family lives closer. We meet regularly for lunch and happy hour. In a perfect world I am more relaxed, laugh more often and enjoy the present more
I Want Candy
Recently we have been talking to Caleb about "stranger danger". After a series of questions about strangers (all of which Caleb gave an appropriate answer for) I asked Caleb what he would do if a stranger asked him to take off his clothes for some candy. Caleb responded, "I'd do it…after all it's candy".
Geez…I think we are going to have to work a bit more on the candy scenario
Geez…I think we are going to have to work a bit more on the candy scenario
Hannah Banana
"Sha sha- I only get to see you a couple of times a year. You need to come and see me more often…I'm not getting any younger you know".
-my little sister Hannah, age 9
-my little sister Hannah, age 9
More Tidbits
1. I actually prefer to eat "hot" food at room temperature (no real reason- I just think it taste better that way)
2. Since turning thirty I have turned into a sun screen fanatic even going so far as to have a dermatologist permanently remove the three sun spots I had on my face from years of baking in the sun.
3. Sometimes I fantasize about outrageously vain things: botox, juvederm injections for those full pouty lips, facials, electrolosis, tummy tuck, okay...you get the point...it's obvious I've thought about this a lot.
4. I don't necessarily like to be hugged but I love to have my back rubbed and my hair played with...it's so soothing.
5. If I don't take antidepressants I become mean. Ask my husband if you don't believe me.
6. I love hot bubble baths and sometimes take up to two a day on weekends simply because I love them so much.
7. Some of my coworkers and I have code words for others...all are highly amusing if not down right hilarious.
8. Sometimes I gossip too much.
9. But then I feel bad and end up doing something nice for the other person to pay "penance".
10. I started drinking beverages with Aspartame again...I decided to just take my chances.
2. Since turning thirty I have turned into a sun screen fanatic even going so far as to have a dermatologist permanently remove the three sun spots I had on my face from years of baking in the sun.
3. Sometimes I fantasize about outrageously vain things: botox, juvederm injections for those full pouty lips, facials, electrolosis, tummy tuck, okay...you get the point...it's obvious I've thought about this a lot.
4. I don't necessarily like to be hugged but I love to have my back rubbed and my hair played with...it's so soothing.
5. If I don't take antidepressants I become mean. Ask my husband if you don't believe me.
6. I love hot bubble baths and sometimes take up to two a day on weekends simply because I love them so much.
7. Some of my coworkers and I have code words for others...all are highly amusing if not down right hilarious.
8. Sometimes I gossip too much.
9. But then I feel bad and end up doing something nice for the other person to pay "penance".
10. I started drinking beverages with Aspartame again...I decided to just take my chances.
Girl Power
The following is a list of great songs to listen to when trying to get over someone: (Amanda-these are for you honey)
1."You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrisette- if this song doesn't empower you then nothing will. Best line: "Do you think of me when you fuck her?" Close second: "Next time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it…oh can you feel it?" This song is the epitome of saying fuck you for replacing me and one day you will wake up and regret it.
2.The a cappella recording of "Your House" (AKA "The secret song" on the CD Jagged Little Pill) also by Alanis Morrisette.
3."I'm the Only One" by Melissa Ethridge. Best line: "Her loving arms can't make it go away. You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow that holds you down today".
4."So What" by Pink. This in your face song is about reclaiming your freedom and having a kick ass time while doing it.
5."Jealousy" by Natalie Merchant. Best line: "Tell me sometimes while she's touching you; just by mistake, accidentally do you say my name?" Though this song actually talks about her own jealousy (that her lover has moved on to another) she knows he's still imagining and thinking of her even when he's being intimate with someone else. Basically- it's just not possible to forget her no matter how hard he tries.
6."Earl" by the Dixie Chicks. The song/lyrics say it all.
7."My Little Goodbyes" by She-Daisy.
8."I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor because let's face it, ultimately you will.
9."I Hate Everything About You" by Ugly Kid Joe because you are going to have to hate him (at least temporarily) if you are ever going to get over it.
10."I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash.
11."It's Not Right but it's Okay" by Whitney Houston-a great song to empower you if you catch your man cheating.
12."If I Were a Boy" by Beyonce. Best line: "It's a little too late for you to come back. It's just a mistake if you thought I'd forgive you like that. If you thought I would wait for you, you thought wrong"
1."You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrisette- if this song doesn't empower you then nothing will. Best line: "Do you think of me when you fuck her?" Close second: "Next time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it…oh can you feel it?" This song is the epitome of saying fuck you for replacing me and one day you will wake up and regret it.
2.The a cappella recording of "Your House" (AKA "The secret song" on the CD Jagged Little Pill) also by Alanis Morrisette.
3."I'm the Only One" by Melissa Ethridge. Best line: "Her loving arms can't make it go away. You'll wake up tomorrow and wrestle the sorrow that holds you down today".
4."So What" by Pink. This in your face song is about reclaiming your freedom and having a kick ass time while doing it.
5."Jealousy" by Natalie Merchant. Best line: "Tell me sometimes while she's touching you; just by mistake, accidentally do you say my name?" Though this song actually talks about her own jealousy (that her lover has moved on to another) she knows he's still imagining and thinking of her even when he's being intimate with someone else. Basically- it's just not possible to forget her no matter how hard he tries.
6."Earl" by the Dixie Chicks. The song/lyrics say it all.
7."My Little Goodbyes" by She-Daisy.
8."I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor because let's face it, ultimately you will.
9."I Hate Everything About You" by Ugly Kid Joe because you are going to have to hate him (at least temporarily) if you are ever going to get over it.
10."I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash.
11."It's Not Right but it's Okay" by Whitney Houston-a great song to empower you if you catch your man cheating.
12."If I Were a Boy" by Beyonce. Best line: "It's a little too late for you to come back. It's just a mistake if you thought I'd forgive you like that. If you thought I would wait for you, you thought wrong"
Oversexualized
There's recently been a lot of controversy regarding a new Barbie that sports fishnet pantyhose and heavy makeup. Here's the thing- if you as a parent think this particular Barbie is too sexualized then don't purchase it for your child. We've been told over the years how Barbie's set a bad example for young girls with their large breast, impossibly small waist, and perfect features. As children, my sisters and I loved playing with Barbie's…I mean seriously loved it as in we played for hours upon hours. And you know what- regardless of whether the Barbie you purchase for your child is an "oversexualized" Barbie or a conservatively, "respectfully" dressed one, your child is still going to undress her and make her and Ken have sex. Ask any adult female and she will confirm this truth (if she's honest). My point…regardless of whether Barbie is dressed trashy or classy, children are still going to mimic the sexualized cues and behaviors they pick up on from television, their parents, society, etc. Parents-it's okay…your child is going to be curious about their own sexuality and act it out in some way in their everyday imaginary play-this is normal behavior. I am not suggesting you should buy your child scantily clad dolls, rather, censoring what your child views on television, etc. would be much more effective than protesting about slutty Barbie attire.
More Silly Stuff About Me
1.I feel "naked" if I don't wear a ring on my third finger on both hands.
2.The main reason I don't wear makeup at work is because I hate removing mascara.
3.I wore braces for two years.
4.I want my coworker to join my gym so I will have the confidence (and the company) to attend a salsa dance class.
5.I am trying to grow my hair down to my ass.
6.I have tried that before *then changed my mind) and chopped it all off so we'll see.
7.I am sometimes a closet smoker-going days and days without one and then taking a day and puffing on one or two.
8.I sing (loudly) when I am in the car by myself.
9.I am not a good singer.
10.I love to dance.
11.At least I am a really good dancer.
12.If Beshear enforces furloughs or lays state employees off I may have to sell drugs or prostitute myself.
13.I believe the world really may end in 2012 as predicted by the Mayan calendar and other reputable sources (AKA 2012 prophecies).
14.I alternate between being at peace with this and being scared shitless depending on my state of mind whenever I think about it.
15.I just learned of a very scandalous secret at work and I can't tell you what it is.
16.My dad's new house scares me at night because it has huge windows (that lack blinds, curtains, etc.). I am afraid because he lives in the woods and that if I look out the windows at night the Mothman might be staring back at me.
17.Or aliens. Really.
18.I adore Sea Island Cotton hand sanitizer (by Bath and Body Works)…I'm kind of addicted to it.
19.I knew Britney would make a successful comeback- I just knew it.
20.I am working to make my body look like Britney's body in her "Womanizer" video (the sauna scene). I'll keep you posted.
21.Caleb and I like quoting lines from the movie Elf to one another and playing the "What would you do game?" (ex. What would you do if you had to choose between riding the school bus naked or eating spiders for lunch?")
22.I am going to drink Red Bull and vodka as soon as I get off work today…it's been a long week.
23.I love roller skating and I am good at it.
24.I am fascinated with vampires (Twilight, Dracula, etc.)
25.I have a pretty good idea of who is hooking up with who at our office.
26.Sometimes when I need a break at work I go into the bathroom and play games on my cell phone.
27.I love boots-I think they are sexy. I am quite proud of my current winter boot collection.
28.I've recently discovered that photo rejuvenation really works and is worth the investment.
29.My sisters and I would do anything for each other-even kill.
30.If we had to fight each other, Erica would probably kick both mine and Amanda's asses (and she could probably do it at the same time) .
31.I love "Keeping Up with the Kardashians". It's eerily similar how much Erica is like Khloe, Amanda is like Kim, and I am like Kourtney (must have something to do with the birth order of children).
32.I wear black nail polish in the fall and winter and French manicures in the spring and summer.
33.Barnes and Noble and Joseph Beth bookstores are some of my favorite places on Earth.
34.Sometimes I am a Facebook stalker/addict but so is my sister Amanda.
2.The main reason I don't wear makeup at work is because I hate removing mascara.
3.I wore braces for two years.
4.I want my coworker to join my gym so I will have the confidence (and the company) to attend a salsa dance class.
5.I am trying to grow my hair down to my ass.
6.I have tried that before *then changed my mind) and chopped it all off so we'll see.
7.I am sometimes a closet smoker-going days and days without one and then taking a day and puffing on one or two.
8.I sing (loudly) when I am in the car by myself.
9.I am not a good singer.
10.I love to dance.
11.At least I am a really good dancer.
12.If Beshear enforces furloughs or lays state employees off I may have to sell drugs or prostitute myself.
13.I believe the world really may end in 2012 as predicted by the Mayan calendar and other reputable sources (AKA 2012 prophecies).
14.I alternate between being at peace with this and being scared shitless depending on my state of mind whenever I think about it.
15.I just learned of a very scandalous secret at work and I can't tell you what it is.
16.My dad's new house scares me at night because it has huge windows (that lack blinds, curtains, etc.). I am afraid because he lives in the woods and that if I look out the windows at night the Mothman might be staring back at me.
17.Or aliens. Really.
18.I adore Sea Island Cotton hand sanitizer (by Bath and Body Works)…I'm kind of addicted to it.
19.I knew Britney would make a successful comeback- I just knew it.
20.I am working to make my body look like Britney's body in her "Womanizer" video (the sauna scene). I'll keep you posted.
21.Caleb and I like quoting lines from the movie Elf to one another and playing the "What would you do game?" (ex. What would you do if you had to choose between riding the school bus naked or eating spiders for lunch?")
22.I am going to drink Red Bull and vodka as soon as I get off work today…it's been a long week.
23.I love roller skating and I am good at it.
24.I am fascinated with vampires (Twilight, Dracula, etc.)
25.I have a pretty good idea of who is hooking up with who at our office.
26.Sometimes when I need a break at work I go into the bathroom and play games on my cell phone.
27.I love boots-I think they are sexy. I am quite proud of my current winter boot collection.
28.I've recently discovered that photo rejuvenation really works and is worth the investment.
29.My sisters and I would do anything for each other-even kill.
30.If we had to fight each other, Erica would probably kick both mine and Amanda's asses (and she could probably do it at the same time) .
31.I love "Keeping Up with the Kardashians". It's eerily similar how much Erica is like Khloe, Amanda is like Kim, and I am like Kourtney (must have something to do with the birth order of children).
32.I wear black nail polish in the fall and winter and French manicures in the spring and summer.
33.Barnes and Noble and Joseph Beth bookstores are some of my favorite places on Earth.
34.Sometimes I am a Facebook stalker/addict but so is my sister Amanda.
Just Because
Apparently I am living in a world of denial and ignoring the piles of new cases recently assigned to me. Instead, I prefer to live on in my fantasy world until the holiday season is over. With that said, here are some more random things about me.
1.I am very impatient-it is perhaps one of my worst traits.
2.I am very fickle when it comes to relationships.
3.I am itching to get another tattoo…I want to have "I BALANCE" along with the symbol that represents this saying inked on my body (both are a classic Libra mantra/symbol).
4.But I'm not telling you where.
5.I still haven't fully recovered from Saturday night (please refer to pictures on Facebook).
6.I think the character "Wolverine" is impossibly sexy.
7.I hate being ignored and if you're reading this you know who you are.
8.All of my coworkers on the Basic Foster Care team are pregnant.
9.Which basically means I will be doing all of their work once they go on maternity leave.
10.I wish we'd get a snow storm so big that state government offices close down tomorrow.
11.There's a better chance of hell freezing over.
12.I think there are no limits a person can go to in order to keep their love life "alive" (be it lingerie, handcuffs, or making your own porn).
13.Yes, I really said homemade porn.
14.I love beer cheese-like seriously love it.
15.And if I am drunk enough I'd probably say I wanted to marry it.
16.Ladies nothing is better for eliminating wrinkles (sans surgery) than Vitamin C gel drops. It cost $135 but is worth every penny.
17.I wonder if I'm naughty enough Santa will spank me.
18.I love my friends...they have the best stories.
19.I have a psych appointment tomorrow-hopefully they'll tell me I'm not crazy.
1.I am very impatient-it is perhaps one of my worst traits.
2.I am very fickle when it comes to relationships.
3.I am itching to get another tattoo…I want to have "I BALANCE" along with the symbol that represents this saying inked on my body (both are a classic Libra mantra/symbol).
4.But I'm not telling you where.
5.I still haven't fully recovered from Saturday night (please refer to pictures on Facebook).
6.I think the character "Wolverine" is impossibly sexy.
7.I hate being ignored and if you're reading this you know who you are.
8.All of my coworkers on the Basic Foster Care team are pregnant.
9.Which basically means I will be doing all of their work once they go on maternity leave.
10.I wish we'd get a snow storm so big that state government offices close down tomorrow.
11.There's a better chance of hell freezing over.
12.I think there are no limits a person can go to in order to keep their love life "alive" (be it lingerie, handcuffs, or making your own porn).
13.Yes, I really said homemade porn.
14.I love beer cheese-like seriously love it.
15.And if I am drunk enough I'd probably say I wanted to marry it.
16.Ladies nothing is better for eliminating wrinkles (sans surgery) than Vitamin C gel drops. It cost $135 but is worth every penny.
17.I wonder if I'm naughty enough Santa will spank me.
18.I love my friends...they have the best stories.
19.I have a psych appointment tomorrow-hopefully they'll tell me I'm not crazy.
Christmas-A closer inspection
The following is a letter my family and I received from my grandmother in December 2009. Granny- you continue to inspire me.
'Merry Christmas. How different the world looks this Christmas than last! Personal, national and global changes abound, both positive and negative'.
'I was brought face to face with my own mortality with a diagnosis of cancer. We have an African-American president-elect and the economy and many traditional systems are crumbling around the world.'
'Chaos simply notes a time of transition from the known to the unknown and holds infinite possibilities for us to move to a higher level of compassion for the entire world and ourselves. Compassion means 'with passion'.
'Chaos is a gift, which opens the window to work together 'with passion' to turn bombs into bread and tears of anguish to joy. William Blake said, 'War is a failure of the imagination'.
'Chaos calls us to question and challenge and upgrade our beliefs, to access more imagination':
'What if...the peoples of the world could agree that God is TRANFORMATIONAL LOVE, THE MYSTERY OF LIFE, THE ESSENCE OF CREATION AND THE MUSIC OF THE ATOMS WITHIN ALL OF US? How many religious wars, whether communal or massive, might cease?'
'What if...we could really get it that we are all connected and what affects one affects all, as proven by science?'
'What if...we really understood that taking offense adds as much suffering to the world as giving it and learned to not take anything personal?'
'What if...each person made the greening of our planet his or her personal responsibility?'
'What if...every person realized that love is simply a choice as opposed to fear?'
'I am working to integrate my highest understanding on an emotional level and I thank you for every act of love and compassion you offer to anyone, knowing that each of you add to my process of transformation'.
'We wish you the holiest of experiences during the coming year. Happy New Year!'
Well said Granny! Bravo
'Merry Christmas. How different the world looks this Christmas than last! Personal, national and global changes abound, both positive and negative'.
'I was brought face to face with my own mortality with a diagnosis of cancer. We have an African-American president-elect and the economy and many traditional systems are crumbling around the world.'
'Chaos simply notes a time of transition from the known to the unknown and holds infinite possibilities for us to move to a higher level of compassion for the entire world and ourselves. Compassion means 'with passion'.
'Chaos is a gift, which opens the window to work together 'with passion' to turn bombs into bread and tears of anguish to joy. William Blake said, 'War is a failure of the imagination'.
'Chaos calls us to question and challenge and upgrade our beliefs, to access more imagination':
'What if...the peoples of the world could agree that God is TRANFORMATIONAL LOVE, THE MYSTERY OF LIFE, THE ESSENCE OF CREATION AND THE MUSIC OF THE ATOMS WITHIN ALL OF US? How many religious wars, whether communal or massive, might cease?'
'What if...we could really get it that we are all connected and what affects one affects all, as proven by science?'
'What if...we really understood that taking offense adds as much suffering to the world as giving it and learned to not take anything personal?'
'What if...each person made the greening of our planet his or her personal responsibility?'
'What if...every person realized that love is simply a choice as opposed to fear?'
'I am working to integrate my highest understanding on an emotional level and I thank you for every act of love and compassion you offer to anyone, knowing that each of you add to my process of transformation'.
'We wish you the holiest of experiences during the coming year. Happy New Year!'
Well said Granny! Bravo
Only Erica
"Sometimes, after a night of hard drinking, I wake up with bruises I can't explain". -Erica Austin, my sister
Passionate
My sisters and I may keep our hearts closely guarded, however, once we let you in it's usually forever. By far my sister Amanda is the most affectionate and forthcoming with her feelings. On the other hand, Erica is the most reserved with her emotions, however, once she lets you in, she will be fiercely loyal and protective of you for life. I tend to fall somewhere in the median between my two sisters. At times, I can be very closed and standoffish and at other times I can be very loving and affectionate. Given all of the above information there is something all three of us have been guilty of in the past, that is, emotional overkill. Emotional overkill can best be defined as follows: a person becomes overly emotional and affectionate (because they like a new person so much) that it is interepreted by the receiving party as aggressive, overwhelming and down right alarming. It isn't that we are psychotic lovers, rather, we just become a tad bit too enthusiastic...when we like or love someone we express it with our entire beings (which sometimes achieves the very effect we were most trying to avoid). And though we sometimes put our emotions and our hearts on the line, the reward for the receiving person is unbridled passion (which has its own perks when harnessed and directed in the right manner). We may be emotional, sensitive, demanding, controlling and all consuming but we are also passionate, loving, sensual, and erotic.
"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't halndle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't derserve me at my best." -Marilyn Monroe
"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't halndle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't derserve me at my best." -Marilyn Monroe
This much I know is true:
1. Once broken, trust is not easily regained.
2. Physical scars can heal but emotional wounds can last a lifetime.
3. You can always go home.
4. Dogs really are man's best friend.
5. It is better to have risked it all than to live a lifetime full of uncertainty and regret.
6. Tattoos are permanent so choose wisely.
7. Nothing is good for you in excess.
8. Never start smoking.
9. Reading is a way to continue to grow, improve and evolve.
10. Pray for world peace, it is attainable.
11. Global warming is real.
12. But we can change the direction our Earth is heading.
13. True tolerance, compassion and an open mind are great (and rare) traits to possess.
14. Life is precious.
15. Family means everything.
16. Be true to yourself...if you can't be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with?
17. Misunderstandings are at the root of nearly every hurt or disagreement.
18. Violence is not the answer.
19. Be kind to yourself...if you neglect yourself eventually you will have nothing left to give to others.
20. Everything you do (both positive and negative) impacts others.
21. Give gratitude everyday for the blessings in your life.
22. Great friends are irreplaceable.
23. Marriage is hardwork but reaps its own benefits.
24. Love knows no color or ethnicity.
25. War is never the answer.
2. Physical scars can heal but emotional wounds can last a lifetime.
3. You can always go home.
4. Dogs really are man's best friend.
5. It is better to have risked it all than to live a lifetime full of uncertainty and regret.
6. Tattoos are permanent so choose wisely.
7. Nothing is good for you in excess.
8. Never start smoking.
9. Reading is a way to continue to grow, improve and evolve.
10. Pray for world peace, it is attainable.
11. Global warming is real.
12. But we can change the direction our Earth is heading.
13. True tolerance, compassion and an open mind are great (and rare) traits to possess.
14. Life is precious.
15. Family means everything.
16. Be true to yourself...if you can't be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with?
17. Misunderstandings are at the root of nearly every hurt or disagreement.
18. Violence is not the answer.
19. Be kind to yourself...if you neglect yourself eventually you will have nothing left to give to others.
20. Everything you do (both positive and negative) impacts others.
21. Give gratitude everyday for the blessings in your life.
22. Great friends are irreplaceable.
23. Marriage is hardwork but reaps its own benefits.
24. Love knows no color or ethnicity.
25. War is never the answer.
Take it like a man...
Preface:
After taking Izzie to the vet (who received her one year vaccinations) her bottom was especially sore. Caleb forgot Izzie was sore and was a bit rough while playing with her which resulted in Izzie snapping at him.
Me: "Caleb I told you to be gentle with Izzie-she's really sore (they had to stick her 5 times even though she only received two shots). You would cry too if you were stuck 5 times at the doctor".
Caleb: "No I wouldn't-I'm a man".
After taking Izzie to the vet (who received her one year vaccinations) her bottom was especially sore. Caleb forgot Izzie was sore and was a bit rough while playing with her which resulted in Izzie snapping at him.
Me: "Caleb I told you to be gentle with Izzie-she's really sore (they had to stick her 5 times even though she only received two shots). You would cry too if you were stuck 5 times at the doctor".
Caleb: "No I wouldn't-I'm a man".
Boogie Nights
For New Year's Eve this year we decided to go skating at the roller skating rink. It's amazing how different roller skating as a kid is when compared to roller skating as an adult. Growing up, my sisters and I became expert roller skaters as a result of living in a house with an unfinished basement (concrete flooring) and having no cable T.V. (we lived too far out). We could skate backwards with ease, twist, twirl and perform some pretty amazing tricks. As a teenager I continued to skate on occassion (though I maintained my skating skills, I wasn't quite as good as I was when I was ten-years-old). Then, five years ago, a friend and I went skating on New Year's day. After a few close calls, I was able to pick skating back up with ease (and was even able to roller skate backwards). Last night was an entirely different story...I'm in pretty good shape (probably more so than I was five years ago) but without a doubt I struggled last night. Though I didn't fall, maintaining my balance was a challenge and going out onto the skating rink was comparable to walking into rush hour traffic. In my defense the rental skates they gave me were horrible (back in the day I had my own pair), however, there is no doubt that roller skating at thirty was an entirely different experience than roller skating at any other time in my life. Without question, I am lucky I survived the madness of New Year's Eve at the roller skating rink.
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