Stolen

Alzheimer's is a quiet, progressive, silent, and relentless disease of the mind. Though the disease afflicts millions each year, much is still unknown about the disease or why it chooses some victims while ignoring others. Typically symptoms do not become evident until the person has been living with the disease for roughly eight years. It begins innocently enough...misplaced car keys, forgotten appointments, but it quickly progresses to more alarming memory lapses such as forgetting to pay bills, forgetting a conversation, etc. I first began to suspect possible dementia in my paternal grandmother this past fall due to some unusual email exchanges and phone calls from her. This year at Christmas I was especially alarmed to discover that in the last two months her memory had disintegrated at such an accelerated pace. At my uncle's insistence he was able to get my grandmother into her doctor yesterday at which time the doctor gave her a series of simple memory tests. To say she failed would be an understatement. For example, when the doctor gave her three simple words to remember then asked her to recall them five minutes later she could only remember one. My grandmother is scheduled to have a CAT scan this upcoming Monday. In addition, my uncle and father recently discovered my grandmother has not been paying her bills (despite the funds to do so)and had fallen three months behind in her mortgage, bills, etc. As of yesterday, my grandmother is no longer allowed to drive a vehicle or live alone and will soon be assessed as to whether she is an appropriate candidate for assisted living. Knowing my grandmother as well as I do she will not be happy with this option as she is fiercely independent and very private. Last summer I was especially fearful for her life...while hospitalized for pneumonia she at one point appeared to lose the will to live (a death sentence in most cases as when a person gives up their will to live the body begins to react accordingly). Alzheimer's is a vicious and unforgiving disease...it robs the mind and leaves the afflicted person confused and scared. I am haunted by the fact the disease will eventually progress to the point family and friends are no longer recognizable to her. The life expectancy (after diagnosis) varies depending on the person's health, etc. My grandmother is frail, has battled pneumonia many times, and is not in the best of health. My biggest fear is her decline will be rapid and unstoppable. My heart breaks not only for her but also for my dad and uncle who will bear the brunt of caring for her and the inevitable pain that accompanies children who must watch a parent suffer from Alzheimer's. With all of the above said, I am choosing to focus on what I love best about my grandmother (especially when my sisters and I were young).

As children each Sunday following church, we ate lunch (often ham and cheese sandwiches from "Rax" at her house)-a ritual I appreciate now more than ever. Because my grandmother and grandfather (who was twenty years older than her and passed away in 1995) worked in the school system, they retired early allowing my sisters and I to often spend the night or simply spend an afternoon playing at their house. Those overnight play dates are some of my fondest memories and in the below text I will share some of those dearest to me:

When my sisters and I were very young, my paternal grandparents had a downstairs bedroom they had converted into an office (complete with two desks, office supplies, computer-the works.). Without fail, my sisters and I played "office" frequently which generally included wearing "dress up" clothes and drinking "coffee" (AKA coke in a coffee mug). As children this was serious business...we had coffee breaks, meetings, and business lunches (often conducted on their outdoor patio area). To our delight, my grandmother (who is a very petite woman) saved many of her dresses, fur and pea coats, gloves (short and elbow length), high heels (that actually fit-oh the thrill!), jewelry, etc. from her professional career. Due to her small size, we were able to easily assume the role and appearance of a professional adult (as it isn't often children can dress up in "real" adult attire). In retrospect, some of those dresses were quite glamorous while others make me cringe.

Whenever my sisters and I spent the night at my grandparents house we had the choice of choosing our breakfast the following morning. Without fail we always narrowed it down to two choices-choosing either the most fantastic bakery in Owensboro (which would include jelly donuts, "long-John's", etc.) or having grandmommy (as we affectionately call her) cook "Big Eggs". My grandmother's "Big Eggs" were fantastic and often this was the option we inevitably chose. Her secret? Fix the eggs in a blender, add a dash of milk, and for each egg you use, add one tablespoon of Coffee Creamer...it's nothing short of heavenly.

Outings with my grandmother were equally enthralling. My grandmother would often take us to the mall (via the trolley-thrilling to ride on as a child) and purchase herself a dress as well as purchase us a few items of our own choosing. Later, my grandmother would then put on the dress we helped her choose and take us out to lunch (Red Lobster was a popular choice). Each time my sisters and I had a one on one lunch date with my grandmother, we felt so grown up and special.

Growing up, my grandparents home was a safe haven- a home away from home-a place to go whenever you felt ill and could not go to school or simply a place to just disappear from the outside world for awhile. As luck would have it, there was a wonderful museum (which later included a children's area)within walking distance from their home. We frequented the (free) museum often and discovered many wonderful things.

Our grandparents spoiled us immensely. Without fail, their refrigerators (as there was one inside and one in their garage) were always filled with treats we were never allowed at home: pudding cups, Popsicles, ice cream, push-up pops, fudge bars, cokes (a rarity found at our parents house), etc. Naturally we were given free rein to roam the rows and rows of treats and snacks and select them at will.

As a child, Christmas was extravagant and lavish. My grandparents (particularly when my grandfather was still living), included Christmas presents galore. Each year my sisters, cousins, and I delighted in all of our carefully chosen gifts and surprises (which always included multiple gifts of jewelry). My grandmother has always had a penchant for nice, expensive jewelry and has quite an extensive collection-which she sometimes allowed us to try on and admire.

As a child, my grandmother took me to the movie theater for the first time. Shocked at the enormity of the movie screen, I nervously held her hand during the scary parts of "Snow White". I can still recall sharing popcorn and a very large box of Starburst candy (not an item I'd normally be allowed to eat). My grandparents also had a luxury that as children living out in the country did not-cable television (which included HBO). As a result, my grandmother spent countless hours recording children's shows onto VHS tapes for us. Once she gave us the tapes to take home (alas we did at least have a VCR at our parents house) we watched shows such as "Fraggle Rock" which we might otherwise never have viewed.

My grandmother helped introduce me to the world of culture-she often took me with her to see the Owensboro Symphony perform (their Christmas performances were amazing). My grandmother also often took me to see musicals such as "The Music Man" and "My Fair Lady"-musicals I still adore to this day.

In high school my grandmother literally helped me pass algebra. Being a former high school math teacher and Head of the Math Department, she patiently worked with me each afternoon to ensure I succeeded in math. For this, I am forever grateful.

As an adult, my grandmother has often helped me out in times of crisis-be it me needing to borrow a small loan (which I always paid back in full) or simply being a solid rock of strength during the loss of our Matthew in 2007.

There are so many wonderful memories I have about my grandmother. I know her life as a child and as a young adult was hard. I regret not knowing more about her life and the fact I never may.