True Blood

Dear HBO-

I had a dream last night I was watching the new Season 4 "True Blood" series. Upon awakening, reality cruelly set in. Kindly wrap up your directing, shooting, etc. and allow Season 4 to finally make its much anticipated debut (at the very least, please release Season 3 on DVD). Seriously, we are all beginning to suffer from a case of "the bleeds".

Sincerely,

S
V V

Excerpts from Lola

Dear mommy-

I am really sorry I chewed your favorite gold earrings beyond recognition...in my defense, Max knocked them down from
the counter (on purpose I think).

Yours,

Lola ^-^

Excerpts from Lola

Dear mommy-

I am really sorry I chewed your favorite gold earrings beyond recognitio

Pivotal Moments

Ask any person (regardless of age) and they can give specific examples of where they were, what they were doing, etc. whenever a tragic event occurred. For example, the older generation can recall the bombing of Pearl Harbor while "baby boomers" can easily recall the day President John F. Kennedy was assassinated and the day John Lennon died. Others can recall the time period in which The Beatles "broke up" or when Nelson Mandela was released from years of prison. Belonging to a younger generation, I can recall the following moments in my own life at which time appeared to temporarily stand still:

1. January 28, 1986- the explosion of the Challenger Shuttle on television. I was only seven-years-old but I clearly remember watching the shocking events take place on television.

2. October 14, 1987-the rescue of "baby" Jessica McClure. At 18 months old, baby Jessica fell into a small uncovered well in her parents backyard. After much media publicity and many attempts to rescue her, she was finally rescued after 58 hours on October 16, 1987.

3. July 16, 1999-the plane crash and subsequent deaths of John F. Kennedy Jr., his wife, and her sister.

4. September 11, 2001-the hijacking of four airplanes, the subsequent destruction of the Twin Towers, and the loss of thousands of lives on American soil. I was nine months pregnant with Caleb and in absolute shock and utter disbelief.

5. November 2008-the day America voted President Obama into office. It was nothing short of astonishing both to Americans and to the world.

6. June 25, 2009-the day the world learned Michael Jackson died. The news riveted the world and his talents were immortalized forever.

7. October 11, 2010-the day the last of the 33 trapped miners in Chile were rescued-it was nothing short of miraculous.

The Weird Sisters

I know I’ve blogged about my (maternal) sisters in the past, however; this is simply a continuation of that blog and our ever changing lifestyles, personalities, and futures. In order from youngest to oldest, I will begin with my sister Hannah (whom we all adore):

Hannah (is):
Ten-years-old and conquering the world
A voracious reader (which I must admit I take much pride in as an avid reader myself)
Extremely insightful, intuitive, and intelligent
Has a best friend (who in my opinion she seems more on the “outs” with than friends with most of the time, but I guess that's pretty typical of most ten-year-old best friends)
A budding, talented writer (again, so proud…well because…ahem, so am I)
Has a great singing voice (lucky….because the rest of us absolutely, unequivocally do not)
Loves and has a special bond with animals
Constantly in some sort of collecting competition with Caleb-first with “Webkinz”, followed by “Silly Bandz”, and currently “Japanese puzzle erasers”
Kind, gentle, friendly, very funny, loves to laugh, and has a great sense of humor
Has eyes and lashes any girl would die for
Looks more and more like me every day (lucky her ;)

Erica (is):
Twenty-six years old and taking the world by storm
Moving to Louisville due to a great job opportunity and will be missed dearly by me (but hey, at least it’s still KY and not NY)
Has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that blonds do not have more fun and is even more gorgeous with dark hair than blond
Fiercely loyal-mess with her family and you may die
Sensitive (though I bet many would never guess it)
Intuitive, intelligent, creative, and practical
A procrastinator!!!! Guarantee she will not be packed to move until the day of
One of the most hard working people I know- trust me, she will be a very successful and wealthy person some day
A natural leader
Stubborn as the day is long
Often takes on the role of “do the right thing” ESPECIALLY whenever she, Amanda and I get together as Amanda and I have a tendency to be selfish and do what we want and say f*ck doing the right thing- in other words, Erica makes us do the right thing even when we don't want too


Amanda (is):
Fiercely private (which has taken me a long time to truly “get” simply because I am not)
Eccentric, fun loving, and has an infectious laugh
Has a great sense of personal style
Has, despite the odds many newcomers face when moving to the city (AKA not a born New Yorker), officially made it
Makes friends easily and has a magnetic energy about her that’s difficult to explain unless you’re in her presence
Has gorgeous, long black hair (again, she also shattered the illusion blonds have more fun whenever she ventured to the dark side years ago)
Can be very direct to the point it can be offensive (case in point, “what are you staring at?” to a weirdo on the subway)-upside-she tells it how it really is which we all need a little of at times
Introduced me to the world of the necessity of demanding nothing less than luxury linens, bedding, etc. to sleep on-in all sincerity we all deserve this
Has bottomless energy I wish I could bottle and save for myself
FINALLY convinced me that utilizing “matchy-matchy” accessories is out- mix it up-you can wear brown and black together (and actually probably always should)
Extremely creative-case in point, the videos she's made of friends and family
Probably shares the most similar spiritual and political beliefs with me out of any of my sisters and I

Shanna (is):
Very opinionated (be it politics, spirituality, etc.) but still tries to respect the opinions/views of others
Loves to write (kind of obvious)
An avid reader
Loves to laugh (sometimes in inappropriate situations-ummm...especially in inappropriate situations)
Has a zoo in her house- I mean seriously, a pig??
Will be changing jobs in February and is both nervous and super excited
Sensitive (more than people realize)
Turning 33 this year...wow
A perfectionist and at times a control freak (it's a work in progress to change)
A Decorator and loves to organize and rearrange
Loves costume and unique jewelry-flea markets hold a very strong pull for me
Working on her LCSW (hopefully beginning in Feb.- come on Frankfort-send the final approval already!)
Liberal Democrat
Only wears dark nail polish (generally black)
Has a penchant for all things vintage-furniture, jackets, jewelry, purses, etc.
Loves wearing hats (floppy, page boy knit, fedora's, etc.)
Selfish and also self-motivated-basically a walking case of contradictions

With all of the above mentioned:
All of us love to dance (especially to "Come on Eileen")
All of us think Oprah rocks it out (as does Bill Maher)
All of us are very family oriented despite being spread out geographically

Music

Music that influenced who I am today:

Childhood:
Michael Jackson (thanks mom)
The Beatles (thanks dad)
Madonna (hey I did grow up in the 80's, however; I think her music still rocks)
Elton John (the older stuff- AKA the great stuff)
Eric Clapton
Joan Jett
The Temptations
Tom Petty
Cindy Lauper (again, thanks mom)
Janet Jackson
Pink Floyd (props to dad again)
Boston and Chicago (thanks to my cousin Brandy)
Jackson 5
George Michael (hey he was "cool" back then)
Wilson Phillips (hey, once again I grew up in the 80's)
Aerosmith
Bon Jovi (old school)
Prince
Def Leopard
The Doors
Diana Ross and the Supremes
Aretha Franklin
White Snake
Color Me Bad (again, I blame it on the 80's)
Milli Vanilli
Cher (old school)
Poison
Motley Crew
Billy Joel
Billy Idol
The Bangles
Annie Lennox
Moody Blues
Dobbie Brothers
Elvis Presley
Bad Company



In middle school/AKA adolescence- in large part credit's due to an ex-boyfriend:
Led Zeplin
Janis Joplin
The Rolling Stones
The Police
CCR
The Who
The Cars
Simon and Garfunkle
Beastie Boys
Tesla
Candlebox
Violent Femme
Queen
Al Green
Journey
Sound track to the movie "The Big Chill" (thanks mom-without a doubt, classic)
Sound track to the movie "Forrest Gump"
Sound track to the movie "Footloose"
Sound track to the movie "Flashdance"(-again my mom)
Sound track to the movie "Dirty Dancing"
Stevie Ray Vaughn (Chris of course)
Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks (solo)
The Eagles
Tracy Chapman (earlier stuff)
Mariah Carey
Celine Deon
Otis Redding (an all time favorite still)
James Brown
James Taylor
Ray Charles
Stevie Wonder
AC/DC-earlier stuff
Nine Inch Nails-earlier stuff
Pearl Jam
U2 (especially the older stuff)
Black Crowes
Alanis Morris
Fiona Apple
Johnny Lang
No Doubt
Steve Miller Band
Guns N Roses

Country music I consider note worthy-though I must insist country is will never be my favorite):
Johnny Cash
Hank Williams JR. (thanks to my former BFF Jamie)
Garth Brooks
Reba McIntire (thanks to my former BFF Natalie)
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood
Lorrie Morgan
Patsy Cline
Etta James
Alan Jackson
Willie Nelson
Dollie Parton (Only some)
Kenny Rogers (again only on a limited basis)
Loretta Lynn
Dixie Chicks
The Judd's
Waylon Jennings

High School: (we sort of hit the whole 70's retro thing):
ABBA
KC and the Sunshine Band
George Clinton and the Funkadelics
Anita Ward
Donna Sommers
Diana Ross
The Go Go's
Blondie
Gloria Gayner
Sound Track to "Pulp Fiction"
Seriously, this list goes on and on....

The college years and beyond:
Dave Matthew's Band
Gavin Degraw
King's of Leon
Maroon 5
Black Eyed Peas
Britney Spears (yes I admit it-especially the older stuff)
Kelly Clarkson
Lady Gaga
As well as most of what is listed throughout this blog)

Unexpected

I'd forgotten until recently how much a toddler can actually "accomplish" during short periods of (accidentally unsupervised) time. For example, my good friend who has an 18 month old recently reminded me of how unexpected life can be with a little one. While my coworker was out running errands her husband was supposed to be watching their toddler (at the time the would be 18 month old was supposed to be taking a nap). Unbeknownst to her father, she crawled out of her crib (for the first time), unplugged the monitor,and proceeded to wreak havoc on their upstairs. Case in point-she pulled out all of her socks, etc, out of her drawers, pulled all of the books off of her bookshelves, then proceeded to wreak havoc on the guest bathroom (which included pulling each and every Kleenex out of the box, etc.). Oh, the adventures of a toddler....

Me versus the Back Deck....P.S. the Deck won

This winter in Kentucky has produced much more snow than we've encountered in recent years. Each time it snows, I sweep (and sometimes shovel) the back deck as our animals need to be able to get up and down the stairs, etc (particularly Lola). After receiving more than 3 inches of snow this past Thursday, I decided to sweep the snow off of the deck last night-what I did not realize was that underneath all of the snow was a sheet of ice). Wearing Matt's house slippers (which have no traction by the way) I proceeded to slip on the ice and nearly knock myself unconscious. Seriously, if you could see the right side of my face you would think I got into a serious physical altercation. I hit the patio iron chair arm and have a swollen right eye (thankfully not black-at least not yet) and have a "goose bump" the size of a golf ball on the right side of my forehead. I literally sat there for a few seconds before I carefully looked around to see if any of my neighbors saw me fall (luckily they did not). I am not exaggerating when I say I believe I had a concussion last night). From this point forward, we will be purchasing salt by the bags and I will no longer attempt to sweep or shovel the back deck. I fought the Deck and the Deck won.

Job Changes

As of February 21st, I will begin my new job as a social worker in the outpatient department at Cardinal Hill Rehabilitation. Although the move is bittersweet (I love my current job, team, and boss), professionally it is a great move for me. I am nervous but excited (after all, I've had the same job for the past nine years). My new coworker and boss seem excellent and remind me very much of my current boss and favorite coworkers. The job itself is a 360 from what I've been doing (child protection/foster care/adoptions) and will now be more geared towards medical social work. Unfortunately I have reached my growth potential at my current job while my new job allows for exponential growth professionally (especially once I obtain my LCSW). I was not looking for a new job-this job literally fell into my lap. I truly believe it's fate and am excited for what the future holds.

Stolen Part V

I spoke with my dad again this morning. They have taken my grandmother to two different assisted living facilities that are quite nice. The apartment my grandmother has chosen has three levels, two bedrooms, a small kitchen, bathroom, a balcony, and a small living room. Luckily she can take all of her own furniture and decorate her space to her own liking. The facility takes the residents shopping once a week, to church, and out to eat once a week. All of her meals are provided for there and they have many social activities including games, movie night, etc. My grandmother also has the option of eating in a cafeteria with others or taking her meals in her room if she desires privacy. Socially and safety wise I think this is a good fit for her at this time. My grandmother has made up her mind this is where she wants to move to. Luckily, her insurance covers 80% so the cost is minimal. In addition, other amenities include the staff doing her laundry, ensuring she takes her medications, and has many sitting areas both indoors and out (one of which includes a nice fireplace). The facility was clean, friendly, and meets our high standards. Hopefully she will be moved to the facility during the next few weeks. Thus far, her long-term memory appears quite good (with the exception of being unable to recall her social security number), however; her short-term memory is slipping but is not too alarming at this point. I am so glad my sisters and I are going to be able to visit with her the second weekend in February.

Lola

Dear Lola-

Your behavior has improved dramatically. I am very proud of your new found (and hopefully not short lived) good manners. Perhaps you'll be famous yet- if not internationally then at least in my world :)

Always,

Mommy ^_^

Stolen Part IV

My dad text messaged me today. In his text, he reported he and my uncle are taking my grandmother to visit an assisted living facility today and another facility tomorrow. Thus far, she seems receptive to visiting and deciding which facility she likes best. I am not sure how to interpret this newest update...I hope it doesn't mean she's declining more rapidly than we anticipated as I thought she was going to live at her own home for awhile with regular part-time help from a private person. Apparently, per her doctor's newest recommendation, my dad and uncle need to go ahead and visit the assisted living facilities. Stay tuned...

Stolen Part III

I received an update from my dad today. After several doctor appointments, the doctors have determined my grandmother does not have TB (thankfully) but does have pneumonia(apparently the mass on the X-rays were simply scar tissue and pneumonia-which is currently being treated). My grandmother's aneurysm is located in her neck and she will see a specialist this month to determine how to treat it (be it surgery, medication, or simply leaving it alone). Last, the CAT Scan revealed a blockage in her brain which affects her oxygen levels (which according to her doctor they can do nothing to correct). In addition to not paying her bills, my grandmother apparently does not regularly eat or bathe without prompting. Since family members have stepped in, she is improving and has actually gained some much needed weight. At this time, the doctors are recommending hiring someone part-time to help assist and prompt my grandmother to complete basic tasks(as opposed to placing her in assisted living just yet). I am not sure how receptive my grandmother will be to having a part-time person come into her home each week and assist her. I am hopeful that once her pneumonia is cured and a part-time person is hired, she will be able to live a worthwhile life before she must be placed into an assisted living situation.

Dear Lola

I appreciate your apology, however; I do not anticipate a book deal any time soon. Please work on your pig manners because as of late they have been deplorable.

Always,

Mommy

Excerpts from Lola

Dear Mommy-

Once again I must apologize…you caught me red-handed scavenging through the kitchen trash this morning. Max opened the pantry door which gave me access to the trash which I then proceeded to dig through. I know my “adventures” wear you out but maybe I’ll be famous one day like the badly behaved dog in “Marley and Me”. Maybe my adventures will lead to a book deal for you and then we can be famous together. Again, I am sorry for the mess I left. P.S. I also dug through Caleb’s backpack (which was also in the pantry) and managed to unzip the outside pocket and eat some old graham crackers-they were really good).

Always,

Lola ^_^

Excerpts from Lola

Dear Mommy-

I am really sorry about this morning's "adventures". I guess I'm not used to you taking me outside to the side gate while it's still dark out. The world looked so different and I couldn't resist exploring! I'm sorry I ran away and you couldn't find me for forty-five minutes-it must have been really difficult searching for me in the dark (especially given my skin color). Even with walking around with a flashlight followed by you driving around the neighborhood, I was still impossible to locate. Plus, it was "trash day" so everyone had a lot of good items I felt obligated to check out. Please forgive me mommy. You probably shouldn't let me out of the front door whenever it's dark outside-the temptation is too much for me to handle.

Always,

Lola ^_^

P.S. At least searching for me only cost you time- Matt said Izzie's vet bill was over $200 today.

Beliefs

This was such a good email I received from my sister that I wanted to share it through my blog:

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.

I Believe....
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.

Same goes for true love.

I Believe....
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life..

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time
To become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with
Loving words. It may be the last time you see them..

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what
We do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe....
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you When you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up..

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had
And what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
But, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find
Out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same
Thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of
Hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe....
That even when you think you have no more to give, when
A friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything.

Chasing Demons...

I’ve long suffered from periodic bouts of depression and anxiety (from childhood though present times). Thankfully the pharmaceutical gods long ago created anti-depressants (among many other things) and society finally dropped the stigma that surrounded taking them (hallelujah...why in the world did it take so long in the first place?). Zoloft has been a dear faithful friend to me for many years now (without it, I feel like an impatient, demanding and unreasonable bitch- in short, an unpleasant person to be around much less live with). From the medical perspective, many people have chemical changes/reasons such medications not only work but are necessary in order for the brain to function normally (trust me, if you don’t need an antidepressant and are prescribed one, it will literally have no effect on you-similar to a placebo effect in which in case I say toss the meds out). In the past, depression was my biggest demon; however, its gloomy fiery head has behaved well in recent months. On the other hand, my anxiety has not. Of course any life changing event can provoke anxiety in any person, however, many life changing events in recent months have caused my anxiety to elevate (actually skyrocket may be the most appropriate explanation for the purpose of this discussion). Mental illness often runs in families…be it depression, anxiety, Bipolar, etc. This past Wednesday I visited my friendly local doctor who (after administering an evaluation/questionnaire) decided to place me on a mood stabilizer after I answered “yes” to 8 out of several different questions (any questions past 7 that are marked "yes" may be indicative of a possible mood disorder, etc.). Bipolar diagnosis is tricky…there is no “official” assessment that exists and there are many, many forms of Bipolar (I, II, Hypo, Mixed episodes, Major Depressive, Cyclical, and Bipolar Otherwise Not Specified, etc). I feel my depression is well controlled by Zoloft but on occasion I am a bit manic-experiencing bouts of energy, difficulty sleeping (insomnia), racing thoughts, etc. Thankfully, this does not include full blown mania (such as excessive spending, risky behaviors, etc.). And, thanks to my OCD which is highlighted through my organizational skills, I have been able to channel my mini bouts of mania for the most part in a positive way (reorganizing my closets, cleaning the house, etc.). Which brings me to my point-do I really want to take a mood stabilizer if my occasional mania leads to positive outcomes and does not interfere with my day to day life? Will it “steal” or blow out my creative spark? If so, then I say "thanks but no thanks". After all, I only answered one question more than what was considered borderline. With that said, I have great faith in pharmaceuticals (when prescribed and taken correctly) and am at least willing to try a very, very minimal dose. I trust my body so only time will tell if the medication is beneficial or even necessary.

Ode of Gratitude to Matt

The following list may seem like ordinary mundane recognitions from the past couple of weeks but they actually mean a great deal to me:

*Thank you for taking my car this week and having the oil changed and the tire pressure checked (because in all honestly I never would have done it)

*Thank you for cleaning the litter box each and every single day. I love Max and Phoenix dearly but they would not continue to reside in our home if cleaning the litter box was my responsibility.

*Thank you for taking the children (Caleb and his friends) sledding, not only once but twice. I think snow is very pretty and quite enjoyed sledding as a child, however, as an adult I want no part of it.

*Thank you for taking Caleb to school each morning. Not only does this allow me to work a flex schedule but it also saves me time and money and allows me to have my much needed solitude each morning before I start my day.

*Thank you for bringing me flowers to work “just because”. You are the envy of all of my female coworkers and have done this not only once (recently) but at least four previous times.

*Thank you for making our household tasks equal- you are not at all above running the dishwasher, taking out the trash, or even doing the laundry (including folding and putting said clothes away). This astonishes me (and many of my female friends) to no end.

*Thank you for vacuuming….I simply hate it.

*Thank you for taking care of our yard-I cannot mow (due to allergies) and even if I did not have allergies I would still opt not to mow and the yard would literally begin to look like the Congo jungle.

*Thank you for calling and setting up play dates, etc. for Caleb. I love that you take the initiative and work out the details.

*Thank you for always putting Caleb and me before yourself. This is a trait I strive to attain as we all know I possess downright selfish traits at times (something I continue to work on).

*Thank you for all you do, for who you are, and all you do for us. Thank you.

Excerpts from Lola

Dear Mommy-

I behaved much better last night. While you were at work yesterday, Matt placed my regular litter box by the kitchen table. In retrospect this seemed like a good idea, however, he left nothing in its place so when I went to the fireplace (where my litter box generally resides) I went ahead and peed on the floor there. I am really sorry about that. I like having my normal litter box by the fireplace and was thoroughly confused as to why it was moved. Fortunately, Matt then decided to place my old litter box by the kitchen table and leave my regular litter box by the fireplace. Even though I didn’t pee or poop in my old litter box last night (or on the floor), I still took the unused pee pad and shredded it up in my bed. I’m sorry-I just couldn’t help myself. All in all, I’d say I am making progress. Once the snow melts and I can resume my normal play in the yard, I think I’ll be much happier. I find it appalling my breeder actually sold/placed some of my siblings with families in Alaska. I pray for them every night, but perhaps they like snow more than I. Thank you for the extra time and attention you and Matt gave me last night…I think it helped curtail my bad behavior while you were sleeping.

Always,

Lola ^_^

More notes to my younger self:

Don’t get me wrong, I would never (in a million years) voluntarily return to my teenage years nor my twenties. People who have successfully passed through the barriers of turning 30, 40 then 50 will tell you things you experience in your earliest years are simply learning experiences and rather than dwelling on them, learn from them, move on, and then let them go. In retrospect, childhood is idyllically (if not accurately) portrayed as years of careless innocence and a time free from worries about the adult world. Unfortunately, this is not always the case and I feel certain many adults would now agree that when they review their childhoods they did in fact experience some carefree moments but this was not a daily theme that flowed throughout their day to day life.

Middle school is nothing short of a cut throat popularity contest in which feelings are hurt, hearts are broken, and crushes become, well, crushed. While I still have many fond memories of middle school, I mostly remember the viciousness of those who are probably now either sociopaths or incarcerated. Relentless teasing, constant criticism, and second guessing oneself are all part of the middle school experience. With that said, it does indeed pass…in fact, looking back it passes in the blink of an eye. I wish I could return to my former middle school self and tell her she will one day be a successful, attractive, confident and well loved person, that mean people suck and will eventually get what’s coming to them.

High school….ah the stakes are even higher….who’s going out with whom…who’s the most popular…are you wearing the right name brand clothes, driving the right type of car, etc.? Forget about deciding which college you’re going to attend- you’re just trying to survive the day to day antics and pranks high school entails. High school is challenging…the most popular must struggle each day to remain perfect, make the right choices (who to date, what to wear, who to hang out with, etc.). The less popular teens (at least in retrospect) probably had it the easiest (alas, I am not sure as I seemed to fall somewhere in between the above two categories). At least (from the outside) the less popular teens appeared to have more fun, more friends, and care less about what others thought about them (ironically these also appear to be the individuals who as adults became the most successful). The outcasts (as I will refer to them in this blog) must have had it the toughest as they were often targets of criticism and downright non-acknowledgement from their so called peers. Regardless of the category one falls into, high school has its brutal points (which consequently everyone seems to forget about post college- even bullies appear to conveniently forget all the pain they caused others once high school reunions begin rolling around. I can recall many times growing up when my parents (particularly my mother) made the remark I should seek out and become friends with the “smart, unpopular” boys as they would grow up to be the good looking attorneys, doctors, etc. Guess what? She was absolutely right. Without categorizing all popular crowds, looking back (and from what I’ve been told as I have not lived in my hometown for more than 12 years), it’s many of the very popular crowd (particularly many of the males) who are now labeled trouble makers, drug addicts, and losers in our hometown.

In college, we finally begin to discover a semblance of our true selves (though we still have a long way to go). At least in college, being different, creative, etc. are not only more tolerated than they were in high school but also more appealing to peers. College gives young adults the freedom to begin exploring who we really are. I can still clearly recall a statement made by the older brother of a guy I was dating at the time during my freshman year of college: “Shanna, you may not believe it but you will change so much during the next four years”. Honestly I didn’t believe his words of wisdom at the time but looking back his words could not have been more accurate

Excerpts from Lola

Dear Mommy-

I am really sorry about the temper tantrum I threw at 1:00 A.M. this morning. I’m not sure what provoked my anger but I am sorry you had to clean up the aftermath. Specifically, I apologize for the following:

1.Dragging my litter box from the living room to the kitchen, taking the unused pee pad out, then pooping in the empty litter box

2.Dragging the unused pee pad to my bed then ripping it into tiny shreds

3.Knocking down all of the kitchen stools and then pooping and peeing under the kitchen table

4.Dragging your house slippers and Caleb’s blanket into my bed (which were then consequently covered with the shredded pee pad)

Again, I am really sorry. I will do my best to never act out in this manner again.

Always,

Lola ^_^

My Sister Hannah

My sister Hannah is eleven-years-old. She lives in upstate New York and is one of the most precious, intelligent, and inquisitive girls I have ever known. Hannah is extremely creative, thoughtful, sensitive, fun loving, and caring. I love her dearly and cannot wait until she comes to visit this summer. As the oldest sister of four siblings, my advice to my dear Hannah is for her to read the following books during the next couple of years (as should all preteen girls):

1.“Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret.”

2.“The Harry Potter Series” (start with the first 3 and save the later books for when you are older)

3.“Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing”

4.“Wayside Stories”

5.All of the “Fudge” Books by Judy Blume

6.All of the “Ramona” Books by Beverly Clearly

7.“Pippy Longstocking”

8.“Freckle Juice”

9.“The What’s Happening to My Body Book for Girls” (embarrassing but essential)

10.The” Diary of a Wimpy Kid” series

11.All of the “Sweet Valley” books (begin with the elementary school and school series first then move on to the High school series)

12.“The Babysitter’s Club” series

13."Nancy Drew" mystery series-this is an absolute MUST

All of the books should be available at any local library

Shells, crabs, and starfish…

Caleb recently returned from his trip to Panama City Beach, Florida. Naturally, Caleb (the avid collector) brought home an abundance of shells, starfish, and large (dead) crabs. Thankfully, Nana initially took home the crabs in an attempt to wash, clean, and store them in a display Caleb could then bring home. Unfortunately, while the display is very attractive (it contains starfish, shells, and crabs), the crabs are now decaying (despite Nana’s best efforts to clean them thoroughly-trust me, she tried everything). The dead crab aroma has become so strong it has led to an obsessive quest our dog and cats are trying to locate. Last night, after I could no longer tolerate the strong aroma now permeating Caleb’s bedroom, I took the display outside into the garage (as it is at least now refrigerated due to the arctic temperatures we are currently experiencing in KY). My plan of action now includes taking pictures of the crabs, placing the photos of the crabs in the display, and throwing away the dead craps (all the while wearing latex gloves during the entire process).

High School is so Overrated

1. Sometimes I wonder if my parents are secretly pissed they paid for a Catholic school education when I now consider myself anything but Catholic. Sorry mom and dad...if it's any consolation, I do feel it was a fairly good education that I received.

2. Why is it that when we're in high school we believe the present is all that exist? In reality, (AKA in retrospect) one can only appreciate how insignificant high school actually is once he or she is at least 5 years post high school graduation.

3. While in high school, one can only see through "popularity and the opinion of others" rose colored glasses. Why is it, those same glasses shatter (if not explode) 5 to 10 years post graduation?

4. With no disrespect to my fellow graduates, I chose not to attend my 10 year high school reunion for nothing out of sheer protest.

5. I wish I could go back in time and tell my high school self what I now know in this day and age. What a difference it would make...

6. Looking back, I wish I'd been more outspoken and more courageous for fighting for what I believed in while in high school without fear of rejection or retribution.

7. I find it ironic that those who I considered my close friends while in high school are nothing more now than mere acquaintances (alas, this is a sad observation).

8. Though my parents often preached it, I never truly believed (until now) that high school is nothing more than a mere (AKA miniscule) phase in a person's life. In actuality, there is a much larger scheme/theme in each of our lives. Wow...who knew our own parents were so smart?

9. I am only a shadow of my former high school self and thank God for that everyday.

10. If given the chance I would never elect to go back to my teen years. I am much more confident, self-assurred, and informed now than I ever was as a teenager.

11. If I were able to go back in time (with the knowledge I know possess) I probably would have had a different set of best friends (only because of my opinions and ideas not because my former best friends were even remotely bad people, etc.).

12. I am grateful everyday for all of the horrible things I experienced in high school- naturally they were terrible but I learned more from those situations than from my more favorable experiences.

13. I am extremely grateful (with no disrepect to those who still reside there) that I no longer live in the small-minded town I was reared in.

Religious Soapbox

Disclaimer: I respect the various religious views of others. My intention is NEVER to convert another person to believe in what I believe in. This blog is simply an expression of opinion of what I believe in and is in no way meant to offend others.

My husband and I attended church today. The service in many ways was quite good. Primarily, the service focused on Jesus "Sermon on the Mount". The following is my opinion on what this service meant to me.

I believe the "Sermon on the Mount" is an excellent example of how Jesus truly was. I feel the church (AKA organized religion) came up with all of the "rules" and regulations one must adhere to in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. In my humble opinion, Jesus accepted everyone-especially those considered undesirable (many of which were deemed so under the current religious leaders of those times). Jesus said many times that the kingdom of God lies within us. I consider that statement so important that I will repeat it again- Jesus said the kindgdom of God lies within us all. I do not like that organized religions insist the only way you can find God is through them. I sincerely believe God is and lives within us all and we simply need only to remember that truth.

Much of the service today (while excellent) focused on the judgment of others. I find it ironic that as a society we often condemn and judge others today while Jesus (in his time) did just the opposite. I ask you, if Jesus loved and accepted all of those considered undesirable (i.e. prostitutes, tax collectors, thieves, lepers, sinners, etc.) how can anyone in present times judge others or claim their religion is the only way or superior to others? I believe anyone can seek, know, and live God the very instant they recognize and remember God lives and is within is- in that very moment of awareness, we literally become the living kingdom of God (no matter class, status, or religious affiliation).

With great humility, my opinion is that I do not believe Jesus intention was to create a religion that teaches and preaches you can only know God through an institution. Jesus was the living example of what we as human beings should strive for-he was and is an enlightened person who gave us a living example of how we should treat others. Jesus is the epitome of peace. On the other hand, religion is the primary root of all wars, violence, etc. both historically and in the present. Personally, I do not believe Jesus would approve of ANY religion that claims to be the ONLY path to God. Jesus was the living example of acceptance, love and non-judgment of others. I sincerely believe there are many, many paths to God.

I cannot fathom a God who would condemn those who are not "Christians". It is (in my opinion), that mankind has used religion and made it corrupt (generally to aid in their own benefit-that is, to have power and control over others). For example, think only of the "Christian Crusades" in which many were slaughtered and crucified in senseless violence much in the same manner terrorists act today. I believe there are many truths- not only one truth as many religious organizations teach. While I respect the bible, I do not interpret it literally- only contextually. It bothers me when others claim, "you can't argue with scripture". Why? Simply look back into history which clearly documents the Roman Emperor, Constantinople, who called together the Council of Nicea. It was during this meeting in which MANKIND chose what to include in the bible and what to exclude (primarily to exclude the teaching of reincarnation, etc.). Clearly, their votes were used to maximize and control the masses in the easiest political manner possible.

With all of that said, I have great respect for all persons of various religious doctrines and faiths and the above text is only my humble opinion on how I view spirituality.

Excerpts from Lola

Dear Mommy-

I am officially over the snow. When I opted to come to KY I didn't think KY received as much snow as it has recently. Can you contact someone to get a handle on this? I really miss playing outside and the snow freezes my snout. Thanks for you help.

Always,

Lola ^_^

Bob Steven vs. Charlie

Preface: Caleb's paternal grandfather purchased a donkey several months back (Caleb dubbed him "Bob Steven"- a name that still baffles me as I have no idea why he chose that particular name). Caleb reported they bought Bob Steven for $80 but recently sold him for a mere $8.00. When I asked Caleb why they sold Bob Steven (who was purchased to keep the coyotes away from their cattle) he gave me the following explanation:

Caleb: "Granddaddy had to sell Bob Steven because he nearly killed Charlie (their middle-aged farm dog). If Charlie hadn't been so close to the fence, Bob Steven probably would have killed him. Charlie is much better now but he still walks with a limp".

Me: "What will granddaddy do now that there is no donkey to deter the coyotes from attacking the cows?"

Caleb: "I think he's just going to try and shoot them all. I found one the other day in the back field granddaddy had shot and I poked his dead body with a stick".

Stolen Part II

I spoke to both my dad and paternal aunt today regarding my grandmother (who was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's). Here's the latest info:

At her doctor appointment yesterday, the doctor reported the CAT Scan showed an aneurysm on her brain confirming the Alzheimer's diagnosis. Whether or not aneurysm's are common (or of concern) in Alzheimer patients is unknown to me at this time. In addition, my grandmother also has pneumonia again (her TB test results will be read next week at her next appointment). Apparently, her lungs are in terrible shape-she has oxygen at her house and sleeps with the oxygen each night. Until today, I had no idea she even had a previous diagnosis of emphysema. Each week a home health agency comes to her home to assess her ability to continue living alone at her home. Thus far, my dad, stepmother, aunt, uncle, etc. have split up shifts to go and check on her each day. Due to her pneumonia, my grandmother was prescribed medication and at this point is not hospitalized. I am scared for her...I am not yet certain what her ultimate downfall will be-her lungs, brain, or Alzheimer's. All I know is that all of this simply heart wrenching for all involved.

Caleb

Preface: Today on the way to pick up his school friend (whose father is consequently our veterinarian) to spend the night, Caleb made the following remark:

Caleb: "My friend can't wait to see Lola (our pet pig). He told me that he wants a chimpanzee as a pet but it's illegal to own one. I guess he could get a different type of monkey".

Me: "Exotic animals like monkeys can be hard to train/parent".

Caleb: "I know. I actually told my friend he shouldn't get a monkey because I sometimes watch "When Animals Attack" and pet monkeys can actually rip your face off. I told him he's better off just buying a pig for a pet".

Me: (Silence and speechlessness follow).

Random

1. I drink two cans of low sodium V-8 everyday simply because I'd never eat enough vegetables otherwise.

2. I am striving to become the great photographer and decorator my mother already is.

3. There are roughly 150 days until the new season of True Blood premiers. Yes, I am counting.

4. I drink at least 2 bottles of Sobe water a day because I despise flavorless water and it's aspartame free.

5. I always sleep in soft pants (be it pajama pants, etc)-I despise sleeping with my legs bare.

6. I have six tattoos and am desperate for 2 more and know exactly what each would be.

7. I type incredibly well-go figure.

8. Insects and snakes generally don't faze me but I despise spiders (sorry arachnids).

9. Writing is my therapy and thus far my biggest creative outlet.

10. I do not like to play video games (sorry Caleb but at least Matt and your dad do).

11. I have far to many favorite books to ever choose just one-I've tried-it isn't possible.

12. I enjoy solitude far more than the average person.

Excerpts from Lola

Dear Mommy-

I am really sorry I hurt Matt's back. In my defense, you've told him many times I am too big to carry down the porch in our backyard. Mommy I think you are really smart because you quit carrying me more than three months ago and instead lead me from the front door to the side yard gate. I really think Matt should have listened to you. I hope his back gets better soon.

Always,

Lola ^_^

1. I read a great deal of books- many of which would surprise many people.

2. With the exception of spiders (sorry) I try to catch and release any insects I find inside my home, etc.

3. My mother is a fabulous photographer and interior decorater- I am striving to one day be those two things as well.

4. I have six tattoos but would have at least two more if I could only find the time and the money.

5. My favorite scented candle/air freshner is Vanilla-no comparison.

6. I only wear Burberry perfume (Britain or London but I prefer Britain).

Decorating and a Little Early Spring Cleaning

As of late, I've neglected blogging regularly in order to do reduce clutter in our home and complete some redecorating of various rooms. I've included a few photos of some of the progress we've recently made.

Story of the Week

Preface: I received a phone call from Caleb yesterday while he and Matt were at Goodwill searching for "hidden treasures".

Caleb: "Mommy, can we buy a chair for the house?"

Me: (Believing it was some type of fold up chair Caleb wanted for his room I asked to speak with Matt). "Matt, what kind of chair does Caleb want to buy?"

Matt: "A micro fiber "Lazy Boy" armchair."

Me: (Incredulous-seriously where would we place such a large item?) "Where does Caleb think the chair should be placed?"

Matt: (In all seriousness he gives the following answer): "In the middle of his bedroom."

Needless to say, the purchase was not made.