Don’t get me wrong, I would never (in a million years) voluntarily return to my teenage years nor my twenties. People who have successfully passed through the barriers of turning 30, 40 then 50 will tell you things you experience in your earliest years are simply learning experiences and rather than dwelling on them, learn from them, move on, and then let them go. In retrospect, childhood is idyllically (if not accurately) portrayed as years of careless innocence and a time free from worries about the adult world. Unfortunately, this is not always the case and I feel certain many adults would now agree that when they review their childhoods they did in fact experience some carefree moments but this was not a daily theme that flowed throughout their day to day life.
Middle school is nothing short of a cut throat popularity contest in which feelings are hurt, hearts are broken, and crushes become, well, crushed. While I still have many fond memories of middle school, I mostly remember the viciousness of those who are probably now either sociopaths or incarcerated. Relentless teasing, constant criticism, and second guessing oneself are all part of the middle school experience. With that said, it does indeed pass…in fact, looking back it passes in the blink of an eye. I wish I could return to my former middle school self and tell her she will one day be a successful, attractive, confident and well loved person, that mean people suck and will eventually get what’s coming to them.
High school….ah the stakes are even higher….who’s going out with whom…who’s the most popular…are you wearing the right name brand clothes, driving the right type of car, etc.? Forget about deciding which college you’re going to attend- you’re just trying to survive the day to day antics and pranks high school entails. High school is challenging…the most popular must struggle each day to remain perfect, make the right choices (who to date, what to wear, who to hang out with, etc.). The less popular teens (at least in retrospect) probably had it the easiest (alas, I am not sure as I seemed to fall somewhere in between the above two categories). At least (from the outside) the less popular teens appeared to have more fun, more friends, and care less about what others thought about them (ironically these also appear to be the individuals who as adults became the most successful). The outcasts (as I will refer to them in this blog) must have had it the toughest as they were often targets of criticism and downright non-acknowledgement from their so called peers. Regardless of the category one falls into, high school has its brutal points (which consequently everyone seems to forget about post college- even bullies appear to conveniently forget all the pain they caused others once high school reunions begin rolling around. I can recall many times growing up when my parents (particularly my mother) made the remark I should seek out and become friends with the “smart, unpopular” boys as they would grow up to be the good looking attorneys, doctors, etc. Guess what? She was absolutely right. Without categorizing all popular crowds, looking back (and from what I’ve been told as I have not lived in my hometown for more than 12 years), it’s many of the very popular crowd (particularly many of the males) who are now labeled trouble makers, drug addicts, and losers in our hometown.
In college, we finally begin to discover a semblance of our true selves (though we still have a long way to go). At least in college, being different, creative, etc. are not only more tolerated than they were in high school but also more appealing to peers. College gives young adults the freedom to begin exploring who we really are. I can still clearly recall a statement made by the older brother of a guy I was dating at the time during my freshman year of college: “Shanna, you may not believe it but you will change so much during the next four years”. Honestly I didn’t believe his words of wisdom at the time but looking back his words could not have been more accurate
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