Parenting

This morning I discovered Caleb made numerous purchases on his facebook account using my credit card. Initially, Caleb was given permission to purchase one $5“credit” on facebook, however; I failed to realize that upon entering my credit card information, it remained on his account (in the event future purchases might need to be made). As I checked my credit card statement this morning I discovered Caleb made four additional (and unauthorized $5 purchases) using my credit card without my permission while at his Nana’s house this past weekend. As a result, Caleb is now “grounded” from using facebook for one week and I deleted my credit card information from his account. In addition, I changed his password to ensure he cannot secretly gain access to his account during his time of punishment. In this instance I feel the consequences fit the crime and I do not feel guilty. What I do in fact feel guilty about is canceling his “Poptropica” membership (which cost $3.95 per month and he was paying for out of his allowance). My guilt stems from the fact I know he has worked very hard (via winning games, completing tasks, etc.) in order to “build up” his virtual world which he is very proud of. Deleting his account (as well as changing his password to ensure he cannot gain access while on punishment) has caused me guilt as his facebook crime had nothing to do with his “Poprtropica” membership/account. Still, when I look at the situation objectively (which is hard to do when you’re the parent and it’s your child), I think the punishments are justified and an important lesson for Caleb to learn. Consequently, Matt reported Caleb acknowledged that what he did was wrong but nevertheless pouted prior going to school (first by shutting himself in his bedroom and hiding under the covers then again by refusing to ride with Matt in the front seat on the way to school). Parenting is hard…it hurts my heart that I have taken away something he’s worked hard on but know it’s a lesson he must learn. With that said, I finally understand the parental meaning of the phrase, “this hurts me far more than it hurts you”.