Question posed at work:

“What floats your boat?”

Which in turn inevitably made me stop and wonder what exactly does “float my boat”? Initially, I found it much easier to come up with a list of things that rock my boat if not downright capsize it.After all, it’s much easier to rattle off a list of what hurts me or makes me sad (especially considering recent events). Still, after much reflection I was able to come up with the following items:

Professionally speaking this entails the fact my job provides me with not only the opportunity but also the privilege of helping others and truly making a difference in a person’s life. What really “floats my boat” is having a new coworker who happens to rock. In addition, no longer being the sole person loaded down by WHEELS evaluations really keeps me afloat versus the alternative (which was drowning).

On a personal level, my family floats my boat-they are forever throwing me a life jacket whenever needed and breathing life back into my sometimes tattered sail. Hanging out with friends who make me laugh until I cry absolutely keeps me afloat. Hearing Caleb say he loves me and snuggling with me inevitably blows away any threats of dark clouds or impending storms threatening to sink my boat. Being in love and being truly loved in return floats my boat especially whenever that person is a fantastic kisser (you know who you are). Animals, long weekends, lounging in a hammock, reading tabloid magazines (my secret guilty pleasure-well maybe not so secret anymore), oceans, warm weather, and a good book undoubtedly float my boat. Discussing politics, spirituality, science, life, etc. always floats my boat (even though at times this can-metaphorically speaking-lead to ships clashing). Blogging, coloring (yes, with crayons I admit it), decorating, listening to good music and dancing float my boat. I’m glad this question was posted at work today…after many days of feeling blue and down, it’s nudged me to get over it already and focus on the things that float my boat versus those that attempt to accomplish just the opposite.

Enough Seriously

In the interest of not alienating and depressing everyone I know, here are a few new fun facts:

1. I am now the official owner of a total of 10 tattoos....if you want to see/know what they are then contact me personally.

2. Lola will soon have her own customized house built for her...outdoors...we'll see how that works out (keeping fingers crossed).

3. I never thought I'd "cheat" on the iPhone but inevitably I have...honestly the Android is better...sorry iPhone but it's true...but at least it's still AT&T...

4. "True Blood" season four begins one week from this upcoming Sunday...there are no words capable of describing my anticipation and excitement...luckily my first (blush) ex husband does not object to me watching the series at his house since I no longer have HBO.

5. Baseball season for Caleb is at a near end...I could not be happier.

6. I have made catastrophic mistakes but am learning this is part of the human experience. I cannot control everything despite my best efforts to do so.

7. I have learned the hard way that some people will always take advantage of others....consider this your warning so beware.

8. My youngest sister Hannah is a budding nail artist-seriously she is 11 years old and the pictures she sends me of her work would indicate otherwise. Simply brilliant.

9. I will never underestimate or lack an appreciation for the fact I get along well with my ex husbands.

10. I have literally lost nearly 20 pounds since beginning my new job (which I love but love even more now that Erika is there :)

Ceasing to Express

It's been forever since I've blogged...many reasons can be attributed to this...I went through a divorce, fell in love (again), and had my heart broken (again). Although I know writing is therapeutic for me it doesn't necessarily equate into me actually writing (though in hindsight nothing helps me more). At this point it's difficult for me to share and write about anything in my life...I've always been an "open book" which has transpired into my blogging, however, I have (as of late) felt strangely exposed and vulnerable to the point my blogging (temporarily) ceased. I am okay (for any concerned). Inevitably it must be within human nature (or at least part of the human experience) to constantly face obstacles which initially seem unconquerable, that seem impossible to live through...perhaps this is the very reason for our existence-to realize not only who we are but experience that pain in order to truly appreciate who and what we really are.

Surviving

I've been here before...unfortunately (as much as I'd prefer to pretend otherwise) this is not unfamiliar territory. Literally picking myself up off the ground is (alas unfortunately) something I am well accustomed too. One would think it would get easier with each go around but truly it does not. My main solace is knowing I've been here before, survived, and persevered. Even so, each time feels new...freshly broken and vulnerable in unimaginable ways. I am a survivor though and will survive...I always have and undoubtedly I always will (even if I don't always believe it).