One of my sister's recently emailed our family her post mortem wishes (although I do not know what prompted this, I can assure you it isn't because she's been stricken with a terminal illness, etc.). My sister's email inspired me to at least set down some basics on paper in the event I pass before my will is fully established. I share these "non-negotiables" not out of morbid fanaticism, but rather to inspire others to consider doing the same....
*Donate any salvageable organ, etc. if it can save the life of another human being.
*Do not bury me in a coffin and place me underground. If anyone tries to put me in a box I will come back and haunt them- I wouldn't allow myself to be boxed up in life and I certainly wont stand for it after. Simply put--cremate me.
*Following cremation, scatter my ashes (the location is not necessarily important to me-I relinquish this decision for my family to make).
*I like the idea of playing a slide show (detailing life events, photos, etc.). I do not object to a memorial service , however, please keep it lighthearted and happy--recall funny and touching stories/memories--do not grieve for me as I firmly believe I will meet all of you once again.
*I have several unpublished pieces-two children's books and one adult novel ("The Lightening Bug", "Letters from Lola", and "Wasted")-do with them as you see fit. In addition, there is this blog-in the event of my passing, please keep it alive.
*I have made two life books for Caleb- one of which contains letters I have written to him-please ensure they're given to him.
*Caleb is the sole receiver of any life insurance policies, financial assets, etc. Although custody would be awarded to his father, my wish is for Caleb to spend LIBERAL amounts of time with his Nana, my mother, Matt, and my extended family...Caleb belongs and is a part of us all.
*It is my greatest wish that Caleb be exposed to my same spiritual beliefs, books, etc.--ultimately we all choose our own way but the more options/views we are exposed to, the better informed decisions we can later make.
*Divide all of my material belongings fairly (because they are just that-material). Take great care with my collection of books- they are as much a part of me as all of you. Divide them up as you see fit---the books will guide you to whom should be their new owner (Disclaimer- Caleb may have any books he wishes).
*In the event I am in vegetative state, etc. I exercise my right to DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). Do not under any circumstances leave me plugged into a machine ...let me go peacefully and do not keep me mechanically alive-it's simply no quality of life whatsoever.
*And always remember-my life was made richer by all who loved me-I thank you all
Monday, July 30, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
Odds and Ends
1. Spray tanning- the perfect concoction of sun kissed perfection minus the skin damage, sun spots, and advanced aging sunbathing entails. While the upkeep's tedious I know it will be worth it when I'm in my forties/fifties and look ten years younger than my peers.
2. Botox is a girl's best friend....I used to think Juvaderm was as well but I've decided I prefer my natural lips after all (go figure)...
3. I am a tattoo junkie...fourteen and counting, however unless I am sans clothing only a handful are visible.
4. The longer my hair grows the easier the maintenance....opposite of what I long suspected (at this rate I'll probably let it grow down to my ass out of sheer convenience).
5. Marriage is not for me- I have (twice) failed miserably at it and it doesn't take a genius (or a therapist for that matter) to see I should avoid it all costs...(not to mention the fact the entire concept does not even remotely appeal to me).
6. My honesty sometimes gets me into trouble- I'm strong willed, independent, and liberal (to the point it is often to my own detriment yet I am compelled to express myself nonetheless).
7. I am learning to exercise tolerance and patience (the latter is the most challenging for me).
8. If a patience is a virtue then I'm basically screwed.
9. I find humor and intellect undeniably sexy.
10. My world would be colorless without books.
11. I like some of my books better than some of my friends.
12. I despise temperatures over 83 and under 60 degrees so basically I'm pissed off at the weatherman year round.
13. I secretly like animals more than most people.
14. I'm especially skilled at outing my own secrets.
15. While I adore my son as well as most of my friends children, I would rather saw off my own body parts than have another baby.
16. People sometimes think I act in extremes.
17. But I prefer to think of myself as challenging societal boundaries.
2. Botox is a girl's best friend....I used to think Juvaderm was as well but I've decided I prefer my natural lips after all (go figure)...
3. I am a tattoo junkie...fourteen and counting, however unless I am sans clothing only a handful are visible.
4. The longer my hair grows the easier the maintenance....opposite of what I long suspected (at this rate I'll probably let it grow down to my ass out of sheer convenience).
5. Marriage is not for me- I have (twice) failed miserably at it and it doesn't take a genius (or a therapist for that matter) to see I should avoid it all costs...(not to mention the fact the entire concept does not even remotely appeal to me).
6. My honesty sometimes gets me into trouble- I'm strong willed, independent, and liberal (to the point it is often to my own detriment yet I am compelled to express myself nonetheless).
7. I am learning to exercise tolerance and patience (the latter is the most challenging for me).
8. If a patience is a virtue then I'm basically screwed.
9. I find humor and intellect undeniably sexy.
10. My world would be colorless without books.
11. I like some of my books better than some of my friends.
12. I despise temperatures over 83 and under 60 degrees so basically I'm pissed off at the weatherman year round.
13. I secretly like animals more than most people.
14. I'm especially skilled at outing my own secrets.
15. While I adore my son as well as most of my friends children, I would rather saw off my own body parts than have another baby.
16. People sometimes think I act in extremes.
17. But I prefer to think of myself as challenging societal boundaries.
The Chronicles of Charlie
Dear Mommy-
If you want me to stay out of the litter box you are going to have to put up a higher barrier. (But not too high because even though I can jump over the current barrier I can't jump back out--which now that I think about it is actually a bad thing because it ensures I get caught each time). I have only my Pica to blame for my obsession with Hermoine's box, however, I think that even without the Pica I would probably still love cat litter.
Love,
Charlie
If you want me to stay out of the litter box you are going to have to put up a higher barrier. (But not too high because even though I can jump over the current barrier I can't jump back out--which now that I think about it is actually a bad thing because it ensures I get caught each time). I have only my Pica to blame for my obsession with Hermoine's box, however, I think that even without the Pica I would probably still love cat litter.
Love,
Charlie
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Independence or the lack thereof...
Independence versus dependence- a paradoxical and delicate balancing act for one such as myself. Given too much independence I become an island in and of itself prohibiting all would be tourists. Given too much dependence I promptly morph into a cagey cornered animal desperately seeking escape at all cost. Without question an over abundance of either compromises many aspects of my life-particularly with regard to friendships and intimate relationships. Perhaps no one understands these traits (or demons if you prefer) I battle against better than Matt. Matt and I were married for nearly five years before we divorced in early 2011 (I assume all responsibility in this matter not because I'm a martyr but rather because it's factual). After seeking some much needed personal help for myself, Matt and I began dating in December 2011 (already you can clearly begin to see a pattern in my indecisive thought patterns and behaviors-I am a true Libra indeed). Approximately five days ago Matt ended our relationship, however, deep love and friendship remains. As a result of his painful decision, my respect for Matt has grown exponentially- he alone had the insight and courage to allow each of us the opportunity to seek out and explore our authentic selves. While both of us acknowledge and accept we need more than the other is capable of providing, this was by no means an easy realization to come to. It seems odd that two people who love each other so deeply and are willing to do anything to make it work cannot (in this situation) do so successfully. In essence, we are two very different people with very, very different needs. Compromise of self of either party would not only be unfair but would also slowly destroy the love we have for each other. The dissolution of our relationship is not to be misinterpreted in that we are seeking out other potential partners- rather it's a time in which we are both determined to work on ourselves...to simply jump into another relationship would be foolish if not downright dangerous for our own personal growth and development. Matt and I have both reached that pivotal moment in which we are seeking knowledge of ourselves with the same desperation of a man searching for water in a desert. As for the future- who knows? What I do know to be true is that my love for Matt cannot be affected by time, location, or destination---it will forever know no bounds.
The Chronicles of Charlie
I hope my mommy never finds out that....
1. I am the one who has been shredding toilet paper and tissues all over the house.
2. I am the culprit responsible for repeatedly stealing and hiding her pedicure tools.
3. I chew on her shoes whenever she isn't home (in order to keep her fooled, I never do this when she is at home).
4. Hermoine (our hairless freak-I mean cat) and I are actually best friends...we only pretend to ignore each other when our family's at home-we discovered we gain more attention that way...
5. I actually love baths.
6. I plot elaborate revenge plans each time she leaves the house without me.
7. I have Pica (I crave and eat rocks, dirt, etc.)...what can I say--it's a legitimate medical condition.
8. No matter how much mommy reassures me, I still believe the "vaccuum" is an evil devil/monster that wants to devour me and my family the second it gets the opportunity to do so.
9. And I am the only one who can stop it...
1. I am the one who has been shredding toilet paper and tissues all over the house.
2. I am the culprit responsible for repeatedly stealing and hiding her pedicure tools.
3. I chew on her shoes whenever she isn't home (in order to keep her fooled, I never do this when she is at home).
4. Hermoine (our hairless freak-I mean cat) and I are actually best friends...we only pretend to ignore each other when our family's at home-we discovered we gain more attention that way...
5. I actually love baths.
6. I plot elaborate revenge plans each time she leaves the house without me.
7. I have Pica (I crave and eat rocks, dirt, etc.)...what can I say--it's a legitimate medical condition.
8. No matter how much mommy reassures me, I still believe the "vaccuum" is an evil devil/monster that wants to devour me and my family the second it gets the opportunity to do so.
9. And I am the only one who can stop it...
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