I hope my mommy never finds out that....
1. I am the one who has been shredding toilet paper and tissues all over the house.
2. I am the culprit responsible for repeatedly stealing and hiding her pedicure tools.
3. I chew on her shoes whenever she isn't home (in order to keep her fooled, I never do this when she is at home).
4. Hermoine (our hairless freak-I mean cat) and I are actually best friends...we only pretend to ignore each other when our family's at home-we discovered we gain more attention that way...
5. I actually love baths.
6. I plot elaborate revenge plans each time she leaves the house without me.
7. I have Pica (I crave and eat rocks, dirt, etc.)...what can I say--it's a legitimate medical condition.
8. No matter how much mommy reassures me, I still believe the "vaccuum" is an evil devil/monster that wants to devour me and my family the second it gets the opportunity to do so.
9. And I am the only one who can stop it...
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