Over thrown....

To say Matt's family doesn't like me would be a huge understatement...they don't just dislike me, they loathe all I represent.  In all fairness, they have earned the right to despise me since Matt and I divorced (trust me when I say that I provided every reason imaginable to warrant this).  With that said (and if we're all being truly honest here), they never really liked me to begin with.  It is my opinion that the primary reason for their dislike is due to the fact their wishes for Matt strongly clashed with everything about me.  I strongly suspect their visions for Matt included a demure, conservative, church going, homemaker- with at least 2.5 children and a white picket fence (okay I just threw the picket fence part in- cliche I know).  I have no doubt they were dismayed to learn I was divorced (not only with a toddler but also with little inclination to have more), three years Matt's senior, liberal, opinonated, career-oriented, and anti organized religion.  In hindsight, I must have stomped all over their ideals- in other words, I was the girl down the street parents warned their children to avoid rather than the girl next door they longed for as their future daughter-in-law (i.e.-parents hoping for wholesome Jennifer Aniston but instead getting scary Angelina Jolie).  I do not blame them for wanting what they percieve to be right for Matt- after all, Matt was heavily involved in church and church related activities in his youth and is a natural with children.  I guess it's only natural they thought I was to blame for Matt no longer traveling to see them as often or his lack of involvement with church during that time (in my defense I never tried to influence or persuade him one way or the other).  Upon realizing I must have come across to Matt's family as intimidating and threatening (if not an outright black witch) I realized that none of my previous boyfriends parents had ever really liked me either (the only exception would be Caleb's paternal grandparents and even then we only became close after their son and I divorced).  Arriving at this  realization was both unexpected and disconcerting.  Seeking some sort of insight I immediately called one of my sister's who quickly reassured me I was not alone- that she too, was rarely accepted by any of her previous paramour's families.  My sister further explained that she and I probably do come across as strongly independent, etc. which in most families is not exactly common-especially given the demographical region we live in.  Although I would not compromise myself in order to meet the expectations of others, I do find it somewhat sad that I have consistently been unable to gain their acceptance and approval.  On the other hand, I am extremely grateful my own family values diversity and differences-I'll take uniqueness to conformity any day.