Those who do not know us well (as those who do clearly see the incompatibilities) are shocked to discover I would let a guy like Matt go. Most women I know would kill to have what Matt has to offer- good looks, faithfulness, dedication, and exquisite bedroom..ahem...skills (not to mention he's the ideal husband-he's great with kids, does more than his share of household chores, and is a true family man). More pointedly, most people look at me and wonder what the hell is wrong with me (a reasonable and legitimate question). First let me point out that I am in no way looking for a partner or even a date at this time (for now I am perfectly content being single). Yet with two failed marriages I admit a closer look at what qualities are important to me is warranted...and with the (impossible) list that follows I will probably remain single for life. Seriously.
Here it goes (in no particular order): **
Great sense of humor
Likes children (my son in particular)
Does not want any additional children (i.e. the two of us having a child together)
Financially stable
Intelligent (is knowledgeable about politics/world events and is preferably a Democrat; enjoys reading and is well read)
Takes great satisfaction in his chosen career (and is educated- a must; a college graduate-preferable)
Faithful/committed in all relationships
Confident but not arrogant (is affectionate but not needy); is secure enough in himself that he's not intimidated that I am remain friends with Caleb's dad and best friends with his stepdad
Has a close knit family and a great relationship with them
No fanaticism of any sort
Open minded, non judgmental, and is not sexist, racist, or prejudice
Kind-hearted (feels drawn to help others in need--think an activist of sorts)
Spiritual (though not necessarily religious as I am not religious and do not foresee me ever becoming this way. He must at least be open to the idea of Karma, reincarnation, etc.- a tall order I am well aware).
Great kisser
Attractive
Age is not a huge factor but not under 30 and not over 45 (there's really not much leadway on this- I don't think people really begin to discover who they are before their thirties. As for over 45- well that's just way too close to my parents ages...)
Pulls their own weight in the relationship-a true 50/50
Does not use drugs of any sort (and preferably does not drink or smoke)
Is completely comfortable in being in a long-term partnership-should it ever come to that (as I firmly believe I will not get married again)
Would be comfortable possibly never cohabiting (what can I say- I like my independence-it would take a lot to persuade me)
Is not a sports fanatic (although UK basketball is acceptable ^-^)
Laid back-somewhat of a homebody, but is passionate-about life, people, and me
Desires traveling and is not opposed to relocating in the future
Drama free
Articulate, good communication skills, emotionally expressive
Has no desire to participate in the club or bar scene- in other words he's left his partying way behind him (like willingly left them behind in his twenties)
Soulful
Fair, considerate, and honest
No violence of any sorts
Motivated but not ADD
Emotionally and mentally healthy/stable
Knows what he wants and why he wants it; has strong beliefs/opinions and knows exactly why he believes in them
Accepting of my family dynamics---Caleb is loved by many and in turn this usually results in an entourage of sorts at Caleb's school, sporting events, etc.
Is not superficial or nauseatingly materialistic
Challenges me-can respectfully debate ideas, topics, points of interest
I feel entirely certain this list will grow with time...it's impossible I know. Luckily I am pretty content with all I currently have.
**My list in some ways may suggest that Matt does not possess any of the above qualities, however, this would be an inaccurate assumption. The truth of the matter is that when it comes down to "deal breakers", we simply want different things yet I love him nonetheless.
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