Dear Mommy-
I think I was abducted by aliens this past Saturday. The aliens performed odd and uncomfortable procedures on me...they called it "grooming" but I believe it could actually be classified as cruel and unusual punishment. The aliens took a lot of hair samples as well as some of my nail clippings (no doubt in an attempt to learn more information about our planet before they stage their attack). Once the aliens had collected enough specimens, they washed and powdered me (most likely an attempt to remove any traceable amounts of their existence--i.e. fingerprints, etc.--). Last (before they released me), the aliens attached green monitoring devices on either side of my ears (I'm certain these were for tracking purposes). Luckily for me I was able to remove the tracking devices and hopefully postpone their invasion of our planet. I guess you could say I'm a hero.
Yours,
Charlie
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