I recently had the privilege of meeting two (out of a total of four) of my boyfriend's children. I first met his sixteen-year-old daughter--a beautiful, funny, and talented teenager--one week ago. She is the type of person blessed to be born with a a warm, engaging, and magnetic personality. Her shining spirit (as well as her obvious love and affection for her family) is nothing short of amazing. She possesses an infectious laugh which immediately brightens the lives of those lucky enough to be in her presence. With her loving and kind hearted personality, she has captured my heart already.
Next, I met my boyfriend's twenty-four year old son. Like his father, his charm and sense of humor attracts all who are in his presence. Attractive, intelligent, and comical he naturally captures the hearts of many who long to be his girlfriend. His relationship with his father is something to be envied- the obviously close knit relationship they have goes far beyond the typical father and son bond. With his witty and engaging personality, he has charmed me already.
Although I have not yet met the remaining two children (both girls ages four and nineteen), there remains no doubt they are as wonderful as their siblings. My boyfriend's nineteen-year-old daughter is said to possess beauty, talent and creativity. A dedicated mother to her young daughter, she works hard to succeed and will triumphantly graduate from the esteemed Paul Mitchell School in the near future. I simply cannot wait to meet her.
Last, there remains the youngest sibling--a four-year-old adorable bundle of cuteness and energy. Rumored to possess an engaging and fun loving personality, I have no doubt that I too will fall under her spell. Being a self proclaimed barbie fanatic, I can only hope she adores them as well.
Previously I wrote that I had no intention of becoming involved with a person who had children. I now realize I would have sold myself short had I not approached the situation with willingness and an open mind. I believe these four children will not only enrich my life, but also enrich the lives of my family. I feel extremely blessed and honored at being given the opportunity to get to know each one.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Ramble on...
1. According to my mother, my dad wanted to name me Stevie or Sam (short for Samantha).
2. My mom vetoed his requests and nearly named me Jacqueline before settling on Shanna.
3. My middle name is Leigh (which I unknowingly spelled wrong until I was twelve years old).
4. My "real" nails are thin, brittle, and peel (hence the acrylics I'll likely wear for life).
5. I have lost nearly 20 pounds since the end of July. I call it the break up diet.
6. Although my son plays soccer, I will never be a "soccer mom".
7. I still love big wheels, barbies, and playing dress up.
8. I finally understand what marriage is and why others might want to do it.
9. I have gone through four cell phones during the last 22 months...
10. As a result, purchasing optional insurance is no longer an option.
11. I am about to fall asleep as I type this list.
12. I would like to take dance lessons in order to learn traditional dances(such as the tango, fox trot, etc.)
13. I am in complete denial that Christmas is a mere 72 days away.
14. I enjoy volunteering at Sal's on Thanksgiving day (it serves as a great reminder of the many blessings in my life).
15. I keep my thermostat set at 69 degrees year round.
16. I still do not understand the rules, etc. of playing football.
17. I recently read "Something Borrowed" and "Something Blue". Both were quite good.
18. I am thrilled my son enjoys reading as much as I do.
19. Catch phrase is my favorite game to play...
20. But Connect Four is a close second.
2. My mom vetoed his requests and nearly named me Jacqueline before settling on Shanna.
3. My middle name is Leigh (which I unknowingly spelled wrong until I was twelve years old).
4. My "real" nails are thin, brittle, and peel (hence the acrylics I'll likely wear for life).
5. I have lost nearly 20 pounds since the end of July. I call it the break up diet.
6. Although my son plays soccer, I will never be a "soccer mom".
7. I still love big wheels, barbies, and playing dress up.
8. I finally understand what marriage is and why others might want to do it.
9. I have gone through four cell phones during the last 22 months...
10. As a result, purchasing optional insurance is no longer an option.
11. I am about to fall asleep as I type this list.
12. I would like to take dance lessons in order to learn traditional dances(such as the tango, fox trot, etc.)
13. I am in complete denial that Christmas is a mere 72 days away.
14. I enjoy volunteering at Sal's on Thanksgiving day (it serves as a great reminder of the many blessings in my life).
15. I keep my thermostat set at 69 degrees year round.
16. I still do not understand the rules, etc. of playing football.
17. I recently read "Something Borrowed" and "Something Blue". Both were quite good.
18. I am thrilled my son enjoys reading as much as I do.
19. Catch phrase is my favorite game to play...
20. But Connect Four is a close second.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Love Actually
As Long As You Love Me...
I'll love you back with all that I am
I'll never give you a reason to distrust me
I'll always have your back
I'll support you in all you do
I'll listen to your bedtime stories with rapt attention
I'll make you smile and give you reasons to laugh
I'll be faithful through and through
I'll be your loudest cheerleader
I'll be your soft place to fall
I'll have eyes only for you
I'll treat you with kindness, respect, and integrity
I'll be your sounding board
I'll pretend to support your political views
I'll kiss away any fears or anxiety
I'll share my secrets, dreams, and life with you
I'll cherish every moment we spend together
I'll be your best friend and greatest ally
I'll pull you up should you fall down
I'll love you with complete abandon
I'll love you back with all that I am
I'll never give you a reason to distrust me
I'll always have your back
I'll support you in all you do
I'll listen to your bedtime stories with rapt attention
I'll make you smile and give you reasons to laugh
I'll be faithful through and through
I'll be your loudest cheerleader
I'll be your soft place to fall
I'll have eyes only for you
I'll treat you with kindness, respect, and integrity
I'll be your sounding board
I'll pretend to support your political views
I'll kiss away any fears or anxiety
I'll share my secrets, dreams, and life with you
I'll cherish every moment we spend together
I'll be your best friend and greatest ally
I'll pull you up should you fall down
I'll love you with complete abandon
Wanted
"I wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted"
" I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
Never let you forget it
'Cause baby I wanna make you feel wanted"
- "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes
The definition of love is challenging (if not impossible) to accurately define. Affection, desire, adoration, passion, and tenderness are but a few synonyms used to describe (romantic) love. While I find some of these synonyms helpful, all (in my opinion) fall short. In part, this may be due to the challenges in trying to convey any emotion (particularly love) with mere words. Nonetheless, I feel I must share (through my writing) as I have never felt more wanted than I do right now...
...it's the eager anticipation of his arrival
...it's the passion he conveys-through his words, his touch, his eyes, and his soul
...it's the thrill of desire--escalating from "I want" to "I need"
...it's the way my heart races when his skin's pressed to mine
...it's the laughter when we're together that adds color to my life
...it's discovering and cherishing the most profound connection that can exist between two people
...it's our souls recognition of each other
...it's a level of love, passion, and emotions previously unknown
...it's the desire to have him become a part of my life in every way
...it's because I am deeply, passionately and madly in love with him
...it's my knees becoming weak each time I see him (especially when he's wearing his glasses)
...it's his tenderness, thoughtfulness, and passion which have captured not only my heart but also my soul
...it's his kindness, sincerity, and genuineness that takes my breath away
...it's being swept away each time we kiss
...it's everything in every way and I cannot imagine my life without him
..
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted"
" I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
Never let you forget it
'Cause baby I wanna make you feel wanted"
- "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes
The definition of love is challenging (if not impossible) to accurately define. Affection, desire, adoration, passion, and tenderness are but a few synonyms used to describe (romantic) love. While I find some of these synonyms helpful, all (in my opinion) fall short. In part, this may be due to the challenges in trying to convey any emotion (particularly love) with mere words. Nonetheless, I feel I must share (through my writing) as I have never felt more wanted than I do right now...
...it's the eager anticipation of his arrival
...it's the passion he conveys-through his words, his touch, his eyes, and his soul
...it's the thrill of desire--escalating from "I want" to "I need"
...it's the way my heart races when his skin's pressed to mine
...it's the laughter when we're together that adds color to my life
...it's discovering and cherishing the most profound connection that can exist between two people
...it's our souls recognition of each other
...it's a level of love, passion, and emotions previously unknown
...it's the desire to have him become a part of my life in every way
...it's because I am deeply, passionately and madly in love with him
...it's my knees becoming weak each time I see him (especially when he's wearing his glasses)
...it's his tenderness, thoughtfulness, and passion which have captured not only my heart but also my soul
...it's his kindness, sincerity, and genuineness that takes my breath away
...it's being swept away each time we kiss
...it's everything in every way and I cannot imagine my life without him
..
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Donkeys vs. Elephants
Given the Presidential debate will be occurring this evening, I felt compelled to write about some of the fundamental differences between the two main parties (note: these are my opinions and my opinions only):
Democrats vs. Republicans:
Economic Ideas:
Democrats: Favor minimum wages and progressive taxation i.e. higher tax rates for higher income brackets.
Republicans: Believe taxes shouldn't be increased for anyone (including the wealthy) and that wages should be set by the free market.
*Personally I believe all persons should be taxed equally. From my perspective, if you make more, then you will logically pay more in taxes. Given the increasingly growing gap between the upper class and the lower/middle classes, I feel it is irresponsible to give the ultra wealthy special tax breaks. In my opinion, the "working poor" should be given opportunities to succeed economically- we are a nation of one--not a nation of super wealthy vs. poor. To quote Ghandi, "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members".
Stand on Military issues:
Democrats: Decreased spending
Republicans: Increased spending
*While I feel military safety, training, etc. is important, I personally believe the budget allotted for the military is grossly inflated. It concerns me that more and more money continues to be set aside for military purposes at the expense of cutting funds from other areas. After all, what is the point in having a "super" military if our country (and its citizens) has fallen apart?
Stand on gay marriage:
Democrats: Support (some Democrats disagree)
Republicans: Oppose (some Republicans disagree)
*I feel very strongly about affording equal rights to all citizens. I have long been a strong opponent of mixing religion and politics (and in my opinion those who object to gay marriage do so based upon their own "moral"/religious reasons). Upholding the "separation of church and state" is of monumental importance to me (which is the primary reason I am not in favor of having prayer in public schools--as public schools are ran by the government). Private schools exist so that they may operate under different policies and procedures (i.e. prayer in school) and are therefore entitled to make these types of decisions at their own discretion (hence the term private). Furthermore, if religion and/or prayers were permitted in the public school system, who decides which religion is taught? I feel it would be extremely unfair for a teacher/staff to impose his or her (subjective) religious views (which may vary wildly from the child's family's religious views) onto the students they teach. As for gay marriage, I feel two human beings (who are of legal age) should be permitted to marry if they so choose. I feel it's a violation of human rights to pass moral judgment onto another simply based upon sexual orientation. This is (in my opinion) discrimination at its worst.
Stand on abortion:
Democrats: Should not be made illegal; support Roe v. Wade (some Democrats disagree)
Republicans: Should not be legal; oppose Roe v. Wade (some Republicans disagree)
*The subject of abortion has long been a hotly debated topic. Personally, I do not think I could make the decision to have an abortion, however, I do not believe that the right to choose should be criminalized. Abortions occur regardless as to whether it's legalized or not. In fact, some researchers report that abortion rates are higher whenever abortion is outlawed Furthermore, abortions performed illegally are much riskier and can pose severe health risks to the women who seek them. Regardless of health related risks, moral implications, etc. I do firmly believe in a woman's right to choose and that abortion should remain legal. In addition, I am a strong proponent of teaching sex education in schools- after all, teen pregnancy rates are statistically higher in schools who do not utilize a sex education curriculum. I personally find it ridiculous when a person states that allowing access to condoms in schools will only encourage a child to be sexually active. Having been a teenager myself (and in a Catholic school that did not provide free access to condoms) I can assure you that my peers as well as myself were sexually active. I do not condone premarital sex, however, if teenagers are going to be sexually active (and most of them will be), safe and protected sex is paramount.
Stand on Death penalty:
Democrats: While support for the death penalty is strong among Democrats, opponents of the death penalty are a substantial fraction of the Democratic base.
Republicans: A large majority of Republicans support the death penalty.
*This is a tough issue for me. At one time I did support the death penalty, however, over the years I have slowly begun to move to the other side. Personally I believe life in prison without the possibility of parole is a much more punitive sentence. Furthermore, although many victims families favor the death penalty, few appear to receive any real relief of closure once the death sentence has been carried out.
Social and human ideas:
Democrats: Based on community and social responsibility
Republicans: Based on individual rights and justice
*It is this area in which I think the true differences between Democrats and Republicans become most blatant. The following are some of the highlights between the two parties:
"Democrats appreciate collective interdependence in society. Republicans are all about the individual, protecting the individual from other people, and ensuring that the individual need not be burdened by collective issues surrounding them in society, nor the tax burdens that might be associated with dealing with these problems. But, this under-appreciates how we are connected to each other in such an intimate way; where an individuals success, in an economy, is dependent on the success and demand coming from other individuals in a society. Where someones own education is dependent on the society that fosters it, and the education of those individuals around them. Where someones health and safety are dependent on the sanitation, police forces, and social services available.
Republicans forget government is of, by, and for the people. Republicans often bash government and celebrate the individual over government, as if we don't live in a democracy, where government is of, by, and for the people. In a democracy, the government is not an oppressive monolithic figure. Instead, it is composed of elected officials and is, therefore, controlled and directed by the will of the people. To bash government is, therefore, to bash the citizens behind it."
While the above excerpt only begins to scratch the surface of the fundamental differences between the two parties on their social views, etc., it does (in my opinion) offer a fairly accurate summary.
I will now step off of my soapbox....may the debates commence
Democrats vs. Republicans:
Economic Ideas:
Democrats: Favor minimum wages and progressive taxation i.e. higher tax rates for higher income brackets.
Republicans: Believe taxes shouldn't be increased for anyone (including the wealthy) and that wages should be set by the free market.
*Personally I believe all persons should be taxed equally. From my perspective, if you make more, then you will logically pay more in taxes. Given the increasingly growing gap between the upper class and the lower/middle classes, I feel it is irresponsible to give the ultra wealthy special tax breaks. In my opinion, the "working poor" should be given opportunities to succeed economically- we are a nation of one--not a nation of super wealthy vs. poor. To quote Ghandi, "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members".
Stand on Military issues:
Democrats: Decreased spending
Republicans: Increased spending
*While I feel military safety, training, etc. is important, I personally believe the budget allotted for the military is grossly inflated. It concerns me that more and more money continues to be set aside for military purposes at the expense of cutting funds from other areas. After all, what is the point in having a "super" military if our country (and its citizens) has fallen apart?
Stand on gay marriage:
Democrats: Support (some Democrats disagree)
Republicans: Oppose (some Republicans disagree)
*I feel very strongly about affording equal rights to all citizens. I have long been a strong opponent of mixing religion and politics (and in my opinion those who object to gay marriage do so based upon their own "moral"/religious reasons). Upholding the "separation of church and state" is of monumental importance to me (which is the primary reason I am not in favor of having prayer in public schools--as public schools are ran by the government). Private schools exist so that they may operate under different policies and procedures (i.e. prayer in school) and are therefore entitled to make these types of decisions at their own discretion (hence the term private). Furthermore, if religion and/or prayers were permitted in the public school system, who decides which religion is taught? I feel it would be extremely unfair for a teacher/staff to impose his or her (subjective) religious views (which may vary wildly from the child's family's religious views) onto the students they teach. As for gay marriage, I feel two human beings (who are of legal age) should be permitted to marry if they so choose. I feel it's a violation of human rights to pass moral judgment onto another simply based upon sexual orientation. This is (in my opinion) discrimination at its worst.
Stand on abortion:
Democrats: Should not be made illegal; support Roe v. Wade (some Democrats disagree)
Republicans: Should not be legal; oppose Roe v. Wade (some Republicans disagree)
*The subject of abortion has long been a hotly debated topic. Personally, I do not think I could make the decision to have an abortion, however, I do not believe that the right to choose should be criminalized. Abortions occur regardless as to whether it's legalized or not. In fact, some researchers report that abortion rates are higher whenever abortion is outlawed Furthermore, abortions performed illegally are much riskier and can pose severe health risks to the women who seek them. Regardless of health related risks, moral implications, etc. I do firmly believe in a woman's right to choose and that abortion should remain legal. In addition, I am a strong proponent of teaching sex education in schools- after all, teen pregnancy rates are statistically higher in schools who do not utilize a sex education curriculum. I personally find it ridiculous when a person states that allowing access to condoms in schools will only encourage a child to be sexually active. Having been a teenager myself (and in a Catholic school that did not provide free access to condoms) I can assure you that my peers as well as myself were sexually active. I do not condone premarital sex, however, if teenagers are going to be sexually active (and most of them will be), safe and protected sex is paramount.
Stand on Death penalty:
Democrats: While support for the death penalty is strong among Democrats, opponents of the death penalty are a substantial fraction of the Democratic base.
Republicans: A large majority of Republicans support the death penalty.
*This is a tough issue for me. At one time I did support the death penalty, however, over the years I have slowly begun to move to the other side. Personally I believe life in prison without the possibility of parole is a much more punitive sentence. Furthermore, although many victims families favor the death penalty, few appear to receive any real relief of closure once the death sentence has been carried out.
Social and human ideas:
Democrats: Based on community and social responsibility
Republicans: Based on individual rights and justice
*It is this area in which I think the true differences between Democrats and Republicans become most blatant. The following are some of the highlights between the two parties:
"Democrats appreciate collective interdependence in society. Republicans are all about the individual, protecting the individual from other people, and ensuring that the individual need not be burdened by collective issues surrounding them in society, nor the tax burdens that might be associated with dealing with these problems. But, this under-appreciates how we are connected to each other in such an intimate way; where an individuals success, in an economy, is dependent on the success and demand coming from other individuals in a society. Where someones own education is dependent on the society that fosters it, and the education of those individuals around them. Where someones health and safety are dependent on the sanitation, police forces, and social services available.
Republicans forget government is of, by, and for the people. Republicans often bash government and celebrate the individual over government, as if we don't live in a democracy, where government is of, by, and for the people. In a democracy, the government is not an oppressive monolithic figure. Instead, it is composed of elected officials and is, therefore, controlled and directed by the will of the people. To bash government is, therefore, to bash the citizens behind it."
While the above excerpt only begins to scratch the surface of the fundamental differences between the two parties on their social views, etc., it does (in my opinion) offer a fairly accurate summary.
I will now step off of my soapbox....may the debates commence
Random #1.5 million and counting
On occasion I make a list of random thoughts, ideas, and things about myself as well as the world at large. It's written in good fun so please treat it as such-
1. Despite my son turning eleven this upcoming Sunday, I am still occasionally surprised I am a parent...
2. Because I often still feel like a kid myself.
3. According to my mother, I cried for hours (if not days) prior to my first dental appointment as a child...
4. Sadly, this has not changed (even at thirty-three years of age).
5. I was thirteen the first time I fell in love.
6. I believe the first time a person falls in love they fall the hardest (as they have no frame of reference or past experiences to draw from and are therefore at their most vulnerable).
7. My first love and I remain friends to this day.
8. At present I am the happiest I have ever been.
9. Until now, I did not believe this depth of happiness existed.
10. A true connection with another person is rare, precious, and should be cherished as such...
11. I feel truly blessed to have discovered mine.
12. Our most painful experiences will later become our greatest assets. Thus, that which does not kill you not only makes you stronger but also wiser.
13. I accept the aging process and would not return to my younger years if given the option-I choose wisdom over youth every time.
14. Soul mates exist...
15. You will undeniably know when you have found yours.
16. Express yourself-you never know when your actions or words might inspire others.
17. Love deeply and passionately as it's the only real way to love.
18. Live in today. If you live only in yesterday or only for tomorrow, you will never truly live at all.
19. Let go of resentments and make amends-in doing so you not only heal others but yourself as well.
20. The greatest gift you can give yourself is love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Once you have done so, you will be able to freely pass on these gifts to others.
21. Learn to live fully in the present as each of us is only promised with today.
1. Despite my son turning eleven this upcoming Sunday, I am still occasionally surprised I am a parent...
2. Because I often still feel like a kid myself.
3. According to my mother, I cried for hours (if not days) prior to my first dental appointment as a child...
4. Sadly, this has not changed (even at thirty-three years of age).
5. I was thirteen the first time I fell in love.
6. I believe the first time a person falls in love they fall the hardest (as they have no frame of reference or past experiences to draw from and are therefore at their most vulnerable).
7. My first love and I remain friends to this day.
8. At present I am the happiest I have ever been.
9. Until now, I did not believe this depth of happiness existed.
10. A true connection with another person is rare, precious, and should be cherished as such...
11. I feel truly blessed to have discovered mine.
12. Our most painful experiences will later become our greatest assets. Thus, that which does not kill you not only makes you stronger but also wiser.
13. I accept the aging process and would not return to my younger years if given the option-I choose wisdom over youth every time.
14. Soul mates exist...
15. You will undeniably know when you have found yours.
16. Express yourself-you never know when your actions or words might inspire others.
17. Love deeply and passionately as it's the only real way to love.
18. Live in today. If you live only in yesterday or only for tomorrow, you will never truly live at all.
19. Let go of resentments and make amends-in doing so you not only heal others but yourself as well.
20. The greatest gift you can give yourself is love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Once you have done so, you will be able to freely pass on these gifts to others.
21. Learn to live fully in the present as each of us is only promised with today.
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