In honor of my upcoming 35th birthday the post below pays tribute to the year in which I was born...
Here's to you 1978! Cheers!
World Series Champions: New York Yankees
NCAA Basketball Champions: University of Kentucky (!)
Superbowl Champions: Dallas Cowboys
American President in Office: Jimmy Carter
Sex Symbols: Farrah Fawcett, Christie Brinkley, Lynda Carter
Popular Movies: "National Lampoon's Animal House", "Grease", "Jaws 2"
Popular Games: "Hungry, Hungry Hippos" and "Simon"
Popular TV Shows: "60 minutes", "Taxi", "Three's Company", "Happy Days", "Laverne & Shirley"
Average (yearly) Income: $17,000
Average Cost of Purchasing a House: $54,000
Average Rent: $260
Price of Gasoline: 63 cents
Cost of Stamp: 15 cents
Notable Crime: "Son of Sam" seriel killer sentenced
Album of the Year: "Rumours" by Fleetwood Mac
World Population Estimate: 4 Billion
Technology: Sony introduces the "Walkman" (the first portable stereo)
Famous Actor also born in 1978: Ashton Kutcher
Friday, September 20, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Take 3
As I prepare to take my third (yes, third) trip down the aisle, I can't help but reflect on my previous marriages. Although I made A LOT of mistakes, I have no regrets. Each marriage taught me a lot about relationships and provided me with a wealth of knowledge about who I was, who I am today, and who I want to be in the future. Here's a brief synopsis of my prior marriages...
Marriage: Take 1:
I had just turned twenty-four when I took the first "plunge". In hindsight we were both far too young to marry, however like most twenty somethings, felt it was the next logical step. After all, we had a fifteen-month-old son together and felt we had waited long enough to ensure we weren't simply getting married out of obligation. We were married (unhappily) for nearly two and a half years before waiving the white flag in surrender. In retrospect we were two very, very different people incapable of being what the other person needed. I hold no ill will towards my son's father-we tried our very best and it simply did not work out. To this day we are on good terms and jointly participate in our son's school and sporting events. He is now happily cohabitating with a divorced mother of three. I can honestly say I wish him nothing but love and happiness. I sincerely believe we taught each other a lot and have continuously demonstrated that while we weren't able to love each other indefinitely, we both very much love our son.
Fast forward to Marriage #2....
This relationship was infinitely more complicated with twists and turns at every corner. I was twenty-six years old when we began dating. In 2007 we married then tragedy struck that October. I wont get into all of the details as the specifics of that dark time period are best captured in the blogs I wrote during those horrific days. What I will say is that I don't think either of us ever fully recovered from the indescribeable shock and loss we endured. While I can't speak on my ex husband's behalf, I am more than capable of speaking about my own. In short-it would take years of self destruction before I would finally hit (rock) bottom at the end of 2011. My road of recovery (and self discovery) has been a painful (but necessary) journey. I owe my ex husband a lot of gratitude....his faith in me (especially when I least deserved it) was limitless. I can never repay this debt. Fast forward a few years to early 2012 (post divorce) and we found ourselves dating yet again. While we became great friends once more, we quickly discovered we wanted radically different things. Through no fault of his own, I was too traumatized by earlier events in our past marriage to truly try again. When I finally admitted (to him as well as my inner self)that I could not commit (ever) to us getting remarried or to having another baby together (unfathomable for me after the loss of our only child together) we realized it could never work. At that time we were dating I was completely happy with the current situation--living separately yet exclusively dating each other. In hindsight I realize this was deeply unfair to him--I sincerely prayed that with time I would change my mind about marriage and children, however, once he recognized I wouldn't (or couldn't) he ended our relationship. His courage to do this (and most importantly put his needs before my own) astounds me to this day. I am so proud of him. To this day we continue our friendship and he continues to play a large role in my son's life. I am forever grateful to the love, patience, and encouragment he has freely given to me. I am blessed to have him as part of my family. I sincerely hope he marries someone who will give him all that he deserves---few men could be the type of husband and/or father he is capable of being.
Fast forward to present day.....
Where do I even begin? First let me begin by saying that I SWORE I would never get remarried after my previous marriages ended in divorce. With my track record I was content to keep things "safe and uncomplicated". Dating? Yes. Marriage? Hell no. Then I met Steve- the polar opposite of either of my ex husbands'! Steve is eleven years my senior, divorced (x 3-yes, 3), and has four children (ages 26, 19, 17, and 6). I have fallen in love with this man and his children. For the first time ever, I feel as though we found our match when we found each other. Today I am thirty-four years old and nothing in this world could drag me back to my twenties..it's was a long, painful, and bumpy road to self discovery and self love. What I understand today (and trust me it took years to get there) is that it wasn't until I was truly happy with myself that I would be able to be in a healthy, loving relationship. I am finally there and feel so blessed. Thank you to my past---you helped create the wonderful future I have today.
xoxo
Marriage: Take 1:
I had just turned twenty-four when I took the first "plunge". In hindsight we were both far too young to marry, however like most twenty somethings, felt it was the next logical step. After all, we had a fifteen-month-old son together and felt we had waited long enough to ensure we weren't simply getting married out of obligation. We were married (unhappily) for nearly two and a half years before waiving the white flag in surrender. In retrospect we were two very, very different people incapable of being what the other person needed. I hold no ill will towards my son's father-we tried our very best and it simply did not work out. To this day we are on good terms and jointly participate in our son's school and sporting events. He is now happily cohabitating with a divorced mother of three. I can honestly say I wish him nothing but love and happiness. I sincerely believe we taught each other a lot and have continuously demonstrated that while we weren't able to love each other indefinitely, we both very much love our son.
Fast forward to Marriage #2....
This relationship was infinitely more complicated with twists and turns at every corner. I was twenty-six years old when we began dating. In 2007 we married then tragedy struck that October. I wont get into all of the details as the specifics of that dark time period are best captured in the blogs I wrote during those horrific days. What I will say is that I don't think either of us ever fully recovered from the indescribeable shock and loss we endured. While I can't speak on my ex husband's behalf, I am more than capable of speaking about my own. In short-it would take years of self destruction before I would finally hit (rock) bottom at the end of 2011. My road of recovery (and self discovery) has been a painful (but necessary) journey. I owe my ex husband a lot of gratitude....his faith in me (especially when I least deserved it) was limitless. I can never repay this debt. Fast forward a few years to early 2012 (post divorce) and we found ourselves dating yet again. While we became great friends once more, we quickly discovered we wanted radically different things. Through no fault of his own, I was too traumatized by earlier events in our past marriage to truly try again. When I finally admitted (to him as well as my inner self)that I could not commit (ever) to us getting remarried or to having another baby together (unfathomable for me after the loss of our only child together) we realized it could never work. At that time we were dating I was completely happy with the current situation--living separately yet exclusively dating each other. In hindsight I realize this was deeply unfair to him--I sincerely prayed that with time I would change my mind about marriage and children, however, once he recognized I wouldn't (or couldn't) he ended our relationship. His courage to do this (and most importantly put his needs before my own) astounds me to this day. I am so proud of him. To this day we continue our friendship and he continues to play a large role in my son's life. I am forever grateful to the love, patience, and encouragment he has freely given to me. I am blessed to have him as part of my family. I sincerely hope he marries someone who will give him all that he deserves---few men could be the type of husband and/or father he is capable of being.
Fast forward to present day.....
Where do I even begin? First let me begin by saying that I SWORE I would never get remarried after my previous marriages ended in divorce. With my track record I was content to keep things "safe and uncomplicated". Dating? Yes. Marriage? Hell no. Then I met Steve- the polar opposite of either of my ex husbands'! Steve is eleven years my senior, divorced (x 3-yes, 3), and has four children (ages 26, 19, 17, and 6). I have fallen in love with this man and his children. For the first time ever, I feel as though we found our match when we found each other. Today I am thirty-four years old and nothing in this world could drag me back to my twenties..it's was a long, painful, and bumpy road to self discovery and self love. What I understand today (and trust me it took years to get there) is that it wasn't until I was truly happy with myself that I would be able to be in a healthy, loving relationship. I am finally there and feel so blessed. Thank you to my past---you helped create the wonderful future I have today.
xoxo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)