Therapy 101

I am currently in therapy for the first time in nine years. I am lucky in that I am able to continue seeing the same therapist I've seen throughout the years (she's fabulous).  During my last session I had what I call a light bulb moment. I was able to clearly see a pattern in the men I've married as well as those I have dated in the past. The men may be wonderful in many different ways but I've continuously chosen men who are emotionally unavailable. Wow. What is the reason? We're working on it. I truly believe it stems from my childhood. My father is a classic example of being emotionally unavailable. It's what I grew up with. To me it was a normal and acceptable behavior. Again these men may have other great qualities but to a certain extent lack the ability to emotionally connect on a level I need and crave. Which later leads to negative behaviors on my part. Disillusion, isolation, withdrawal, resentment, and at times infidelity. I own my past behaviors-I am responsible for my own actions but I could never understand them. I now feel that due to my essential and demanding need for emotional connection, I either A. scared men away or B. married men who would fall short in this area. Which brings me to this now that I am aware of this problem how do I learn to identify potential partners who either lack or have this type of connection? I do not know. What I do know is that therapy can only help me to differentiate that which is healthy and that which is not.