This so called life

"The root of suffering is attachment"

-Buddha 

Life is a journey. An endless opportunity to experience, learn, and grow through life lessons. It's hard, messy, complicated, and exhilarating. With that said, I'm learning more about loving without attachment. This is not to be confused with detachment. It isn't about pulling away or other negative behaviors.  Rather, it's about unconditional love. That is, loving without conditions. This applies to all relationships though most find it harder practicing these principles in romantic relationships. For example, we love our children and our families unconditionally.  We love them where they are at and despite any shortcomings. From my research, I've learned that when people fall in love they want to attach themselves to their object of affection. They create rules and expectations. This can potentially lead to fear and disapointment. To love without attachment means to be fully present-fully authentic. Romantic relationships often don't last. People often project their desires and needs upon the future (i.e. Will there be one? , etc.).  People can still have hopes and dreams but only the present is occuring now. People do not live in the future-only in the presence of each moment. It's accepting and loving others where they're at. It's loving a person for who they are with no expectation in return. It's a beautiful but difficult practice. From my readings I have further learned that we need to only truly love ourselves-that we are whole and enough. That all we truly need is the awareness of the divine that lies within us all. People help us grow and sometimes it's through painful experiences. Regardless it's a lesson and at the end of each lesson is a gift of some kind.  As an individual we need only ourselves (not to be confused with shutting others out).  To be more specific, a person cannot solely depend upon another for their own happiness. No person can ever live up to that kind of expectation. This practice is also not to be confused with being a doormat. Sometimes loving without attachment means letting go when a relationship becomes one sided or unhealthy in some way. But, instead of despising that person, we can instead love them for the good experiences and gifts provided. For example, my last husband cheated on me (for further details refer to posts in 2016). Looking back now-wow what a blessing-a whole new road opened up before me. When relationships end we often think we'll never be happy again. How untrue this is! The ending of any relationship again opens up a new road-a new adventure. It's having faith that something wonderful will unfold.  And it always will.