Looking back I did exactly what my former therapist warned me to avoid-I slowly let pieces of myself go simply to placate my former partner. This is not his fault. Rather, I compromised and just went along. In the end I can now see it as a past resentment on my end. He made all the decisions-when to visit and when to leave, what to do and when to do it. I gave away all of my power and that's likely part of why it ended. Don't get me wrong-I wasn't faking or pretending to be someone I'm not. I simply did not want to make things "complicated" knowing he'd flee if I did. And that's what happened during the two months of a pure personal hell for me. It's not that I wasn't enough for him-rather, I was too much. That's ok. That's where he's at in his life right now. I accept that. I think the relationship was healthy over all. We did the best we could at any given moment. I miss him but respect and honor his decision to walk away. I sincerely hope he misses me too-that I meant something important to him. I hope down the road he continues to feel he made the right decision in the end. I wish him great happiness and grieve it will be a life without me in it. But the truth is if he wanted to be with me he would. And he isn't.
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