Enough

Is it enough I ask myself...Is his kindness and considerate behavior enough? Is his affection and playfulness enough? Are his good manners and adoration enough? Is his self assurance and confidence enough? Is his delightful companionship enough? Are his kept promises and dependability enough? Is his attentiveness and protection enough? To be honest, the simple answer is yes. However, there is an opposing side that begs attention. Is a limited spiritual connection enough? Is his inability to fully commit enough? Is being nonalcoholic and therefore unaware of AA enough? Is his struggle with sexual intimacy enough? Is his complete lack of long term relationships in his life enough?  The plain and simple answer is no. In fact, many are non-negotiable deal breakers for a long term relationship. With that being said, I am continuously torn between waiting to see what develops (though my cursed impatience and fear run rampant) or instead part as friends now and avoid any messiness down the road? I do not know and uncertainty is not a place I enjoy living in. Can I be free and simply enjoy the present moment or will my demand to know the future win out (resulting in fleeing)? Alas, I do not know. I whole heartedly believe there is someone somewhere who encompasses all things important to me. I am in unfamiliar territory which makes me feel uncomfortable. I have very limited experience in simply dating casually. I do know I will not settle for less than I deserve. I have lived there before and I am not going back again.