The Ledge

I can promise you that you will have to talk me down from the ledge. Repeatedly. It is a guarantee. I have a tendency to flee when I feel emotionally vulnerable. I call it self-preservation. I will try to escape the moment my walls start to crack. It is my (albeit unhealthy) knee jerk reaction. Thus far you have succeeded in coaxing me back down. Sometime in the future you will have to do it again. My trust is a tentative thing. I do not share it easily. I will search for all of the reasons we should not be together while minimizing the reasons we should. I easily feel exposed. It is a result of past trauma. At times it has served its purpose. But a life preserver can quickly turn into a self suffocating device. It can lead to drowning when simply standing up could deliver me safely to shore. I will do my best to let you in despite the risks. I know your history. I am not blind. But I also recognize the possibilities despite the shortcomings we possess. Life is a journey not a destination.