Mirror, mirror on the wall...

I consider myself to be a private person yet an open book once I get to know someone. This is both a gift and a curse. I must vigilantly remind myself that many people (in fact, likely most) are not. It's a hard concept for me to grasp-that is, just because I am open doesn't mean that others are. It's a misconception on my part. I wish I could continuously hold on to that important and many times painful lesson. Alas, I fall short. As a result I find myself falsely comforted with a sense of security that is perhaps fabricated by my own making.  Though baffled each time I do my best not to judge others. Perhaps I need to learn to reexamine boundaries in all of my relationships on an ongoing basis. If not, I find I've set myself up for disappointment.  I should never assume. I need to learn that when people show you (and tell you) who they are and what their expectations are I need to listen. I've lulled myself into routine and comfort which can often be a dangerous combination. I conquered my jealousy and control demons long ago (no easy feat and it took years which included lots of heartache and hard work). I am trying to feel that I am not shut out. It isn't easy. I respect other people's choices. I must work on myself because I feel that I've personally taken many steps back due to fear and caution. This is my pattern. When my feelings are hurt and I've misinterpreted boundaries and expectations I want to flee (the classic fight or flight response). This time I've chosen prayer. I choose to listen not only to my own intuition but more importantly to God. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems. This not to suggest acceptance without action is sometimes warranted. At present I am mad at myself. Some days that's all there is and I'm learning to let go and let God. God holds me always.