Lola

Dear Lola-

Your behavior has improved dramatically. I am very proud of your new found (and hopefully not short lived) good manners. Perhaps you'll be famous yet- if not internationally then at least in my world :)

Always,

Mommy ^_^

Dear Lola

I appreciate your apology, however; I do not anticipate a book deal any time soon. Please work on your pig manners because as of late they have been deplorable.

Always,

Mommy

Dear Lola

Dear Lola-

I hope you received all you wanted from Santa. Regardless, today is 12/27...unless you should suddenly pass in the next 24 hours we are rabies free!

Love,

Mommy

Excerpts from Lola

Dear Mommy-

You should really be proud of me. You thought I would try and eat the Christmas tree since it’s a live versus artificial tree but I’ve proven otherwise (though I do secretly sneak water out of the tree stand while you’re gone). I wish you’d leave the ornaments a little lower….I just want to nibble on them a bit. I’m really sorry about your favorite snowman you left sitting by the fireplace- I just couldn’t resist the wooden sled he was holding (but in my defense at least I only ate the sled and not the snowman). For Christmas this year I would really like some dog treats (I know it’s a bit cannibalistic but I really do like the bones with the stuffed pork in the middle). I discovered snow for the first time the other morning….not sure what I think about that. I liked licking it off the deck but my hooves combined with the snow made things pretty slippery. One last thing mommy, can you try and find me a sweater big enough for me to wear outdoors? I miss going outside but right now it’s just too windy and the leaves rustling loudly scares me. Thanks mommy.

Always,

Lola ^-^

Excerpts from Lola

Dear Mommy-

I am not trying to brag but I’ve recently discovered I may be the smartest pig in the world (a rather narcissistic comment I know, however, I really feel this may indeed be true). Silly mommy! While you did remember to shut the baby/pet gate at the bottom of the stairs this morning you forgot to latch/lock it! With my sharp wit and prodigious skills, I managed to open the gate with my teeth, dash upstairs, eat Izzie’s dog food, and poop on the floor while you were getting ready for work. I apologize for the bathroom accident; however, you do not have a litter box for me upstairs so in reality my actions were somewhat justifiable given the circumstances. I’d like to suggest you invest in an upstairs litter box so that in the event I pull future Houdini acts, I will not be forced to defecate once again on the carpet.

Yours,

Lola ^_^

Excerpts from Lola

Dear Mommy-

I fell down the steps this morning and even though I didn’t get hurt I really didn’t appreciate your laughter. When I woke up this morning the baby/pet gate was open and I wanted to come upstairs and find you (and I also wanted Izzie’s dog food which I’ve discovered you now hide in the upstairs hallway). I told you previously I would try and master climbing down the stairs by myself, however, after my haphazard landing this morning I’ve decided to rethink that strategy. Perhaps you could install a ramp or an elevator? Just a thought…

Always,

Lola ^_^

Dear Mommy-

I am starving. I really do need more than three meals of pig pellet food per day. I know that you supplement my pellets with fresh fruit and veggies (which I really appreciate) however I think you should grant me access to the refrigerator while you are at work. I am a growing girl and need the extra energy. Please consider my request. I love you and you would be the best mommy in the world if you grant me this request.

Love,

Lola ^_^

P.S.- I really do not like the childproof locks you placed on the kitchen cabinets. The new locks have made it very difficult for me to open the cabinets and drag out all of the Tupperware that I enjoy chewing on.

P.S.S.- Can you change the water in my swimming pool? It’s a bit warm and murky. It’s really hot out too.