Pulls those shades down tight.
Yeah, she gives me a smile when the pain comes.
The pain gonna make everything alright..."
"She Talks to Angels"-The Black Crowes
Pain comes in many forms-physical, emotional, heart ache, grief, addictions, etc. I believe relief is the crux of the problem and many will seek it at any costs. Eating disorders, cutting, drugs and/or alcohol (hand raised), denial, sex, shopping, gambling, suicide, etc. (the list is never ending). AA has helped me deal with a lot of my past pain and gives me a framework for dealing with present pain. I'm no saint. There is some pain I cannot touch. The loss of my son, Matthew, nope can't go there. Won't go there. Maybe someday. Prayer, meditation, helping others, sharing, and attending meetings often helps in most areas of my life. The problem as I see it is a person's inability to walk through it. Shutting it down is the softer (but often times sicker way). I get that, I truly do. I believe a person is only as sick as their secrets. Which compels me to confess. When I recently got my sparrow tattoo to denote my 5 years of freedom from alcohol I enjoyed it. I embraced it. I revelled in it. What a glorious release-a powerful reminder that enduring pain can be a liberating experience. It was a personal reminder that through pain we can sometimes transform it into something beautiful. Something magical. "Pain is the touch stone of spiritual growth." I've personally found that sharing my pain (via a sponsor, therapist, or loved ones is a spiritual and cleansing experience. Exercise is a release for me in and of its self. For me, writing is theraputic. My written words flow more freely and helps me to relieve the bondage of self. I fall short as we humans often do. I still smoke-a filthy, poisonous addiction. But I am learning. I am growing. Pain presents a painful experience but one which hold a beautiful gift at the end. Walk through it. Suffer. Something truly miraculous awaits at the end.
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